User:EpicAwesomeness/be gone, vfd demons!
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- A formal complaint from an Uncyclopedia user
Everybody presents their own opinion of the Uncyclopedia administrators, many thinking of them as stupid, dangerous and gay to such a degree unseen beyond the pixellated glory of Internet homophobia. Such people as them are, to put it eloquently, well past the realm of social sanity; their actions reflect only the minds of very, very disturbed individuals indeed. Without retiring to a cavalcade of poorly-spelt bold capitals, I wish to question their authority over this site and present a number of reasons against their respective positions, all of which I am sad to say hold an erroneous amount of power over more common users. After all, administrative figures rather defeat the purpose of an openly-editable community website; some may argue that writings are left unmonitored and unrestrained but restraint is clearly not apt in such a situation as this.
My own personal circumstances present in my argument, of course, a sizeable amount of bias, but I aim to stand as close to the neutral person as possible, shuffling ever closer until they look at me worriedly and call for a police officer. My arguments will consist merely of the points I have come up with in my favour and a clear explanation. These writings may be annotated occasionally with my own thoughts but for the most part, I assure you I will make no argument against the administrative figures personally, rather addressing the very concept of this as flawed (which it is) and putting to use examples from the history of this website if necessary.
Really, the crux of my argument is simple. The administrators carelessly delete the writings of "the people", to use a tired cliché, and in a tragically paradoxical situation, ey get pwned by 12 year-old vandals, and their articles aren't even that funny. They are all a bunch of GHEY jerks. Now we will tell you the 10 greatest reasons why they should be De-Opped and......NOOOOOO!!!!!!'
Never mind, here are the 10 main reasons why they should be de-opped for being such a bunch of cunts.
edit Reason 1; They are to slow at vandal exterminating.
Every a fuck knows anybody caught vandalizing Wikipedia will be banned within a second, and any sockpuppet made by them will be banned in no more than a week. Yet an Uncyclopedia vandal Inserting "You mom is SOOOO ghey lol" on Adolf Hitler can be left un-detected within a day or even a week, while sockpuppets can continue lurking and hiding within years. In fact when some major vandals attacked the site sometimes there can be even NO ADMINS ONLINE AT ALL! Would you like to revert a page moving vandal for 3 days? I bet you don't want to and you never will. Being paid professionals, overall, they suck at their basic job and should be de-opped for such a reason.
edit Reason 2; They like to delete/Huff everything.
Everybody should remember uncyclopedia had an amount of quality articles such as Formula One and Malaysia. But fear not, they are all deleted by our Heroes! All of our quality articles are either killed by a monthly manetinance tag or deleted due to vigilance, which shortly means "This articles isn't that bad but i like to delete it anyway."! What is this, you say? "Fixing the site"? Nah, it's just "government-approved vandalism"! We used to have more than 30000 articles, but due to our superman's weed-cutting efforts, this has reduced to a 29000+! Just see the log below and you get the idea;
what you say? Huffing the backbone and soul of uncyclopedia? Yes, They did it! Now uncyclopedia is truly a bunch of JUNKY JUNKY JUNK!!!!!
edit Reason 3; They ban people for the sole pourpose of liking to do it.
The most notable example being Lyrithya and Thekillerfroggy. Our superheroes like to ban people without reason, And they will eventually do it to you for teh Lulz. Take example of Lyrithya, she likes to pwn anybody who talks about H A G G E R and/or Grawp while she was having lesbian sex with your mom! This also applies to IRC as well, as the author has been kicked out of #uncyclopedia because of talking about grawp and "Not being funny"
An IRC log is the following;
Mr-ex777 GRAWP WANT TO STICK GIANT DICK INTO PIKACHU AND HAVE WARM, STICKY CUM FOUNTAIN OUT OF GIANT DICK, MAKE PIKACHU HAPPY. PIKACHU THEN HAVE MASSIVE ORGASM AND GIANT DICK BURSTS THROUGH TINY PIKACHU, KILLING IT ACCIDENTALLY BUT CAUSING MUCH LULZ. RAHB AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA RAHB hugs Mr-ex777 Isarra has left freenode (Changing host) Isarra (~rahah@uncyclopedia/Lyrithya) has joined #uncyclopedia Mode #uncyclopedia +o Isarra by ChanServ YOU (Mr-ex777) have left #uncyclopedia (requested by Isarra (That's not funny.)
See that? the author just got kicked out of IRC just for mentioning grawp! How unfair it was. Now for another log in the main site;
- 22:04, July 4, 2011 Lyrithya (talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> (talk|contribs) with an expiry time of infinite (UR SOOO GHEY LOL)
How dare they block <insert name here>! <insert name here> is the best and funniest editor in all uncyclopedia! His sheer 1337ness and humor makes everybody proud! These talentless hacks are just jealous of his talent, so they blocked him for the lulz! What a bunch of dickheads.
Also, their block reasons suck. What is "You have a hueg cock?" "UR SOOO GHEY LOL?" This proofs their block reasons suck elephant dick and are far more unconstructive than what they are blocking. If i would be blocked for that i might break my laptop due to the sheer rage that is burning in my penis running though my veins then into the brain.
edit Reason 4; They aren't even that funny!
Our Current Admins have the Humor standards of a Sucessful Comedian. Yet our admins aren't even that funny AT ALL! They think they are so funny for telling penis jokes, asking fickle questions in the IRC ,blocking people with "Funny" block reasons and making unfunny crap such as Filial Piety, Yet they aren't even that funny like previously said! RAHB likes to tell penis jokes, speak like a french and have gay sex with Frank Zappa. Lyrithya is an Hippie multi-diesmensional indian. Zombiebaron is an expert article huffer. Why we can't have a In-joke supporting or one that is a 1337 troll of other sites such as Livejournal or DeviantART instead? Maybe if we have such an admin we can earn ourselves more fame and turn us into a better site. But with the current admins we aren't really going anywhere because they are so unfunny that even The classic AAAAAAA! and Chuck Norris jokes are funnier than what is considered funny now. Overall our current admins are so unfunny that they should be de-opped for great justice and let Mr-ex777 or Qzekrom be admin.
edit Reason 5: They won't let me write articles about vandals or internet legends!
Everybody knows we think we are a reverse counterpart of uncyclopedia. yet we cannot write articles about famous wikipedia vandals! IF we cannot write articles about vandals we are not anti-wikipedia. last time i wrote an article about Grawp and they Huffed my article for a reason of (sorry, it's not going to live long.) And i was like, wtf? And i got a new message in my talk, and it was like; "Do not write articles about trolls or vandals, this is counted as encouraging vandalism.--MrN " I was like "WTF" but i won't dare say it as i fear getting banned indefintely. But yet i saw an article about willy on wheels and another one about Mr.Pelican shit. Why the hell their articles about vandalism is allowed but when i make a fucking vandal article it was allowed? (cos yours sucked Mr-ex777 You can get away with ANYTHING if you are funny enough. You were not. MrN 01:34, May 9) these admins just helps wikipedia for their monthly salary (in fact, Jimbo wales opened wikia, where we are hosted! If we just stayed at uncyclopedia.org we can just make fun of wikipedia all day long.) instead of letting us make fun of wikipedia which we are purposed to. and should be de-opped. Maybe If Mr-ex777 is an admin he might allow it. Better ask him for more.
We also can't write articles about Internet legends such as Shadowleggy and Reality-fucking-squared. When i try write an article about Reality squared, the log is the following;
Everybody Knows this guy is a bastard and should be pwnt by the man. In fact every fucker from deviantART know him as a idiot and a loser. And you call that vanity? Pheomenal.
edit Reason 6; they're dumb!
Everybody knows Admins should be smart-ass nerds. But uncyclopedia admins are even dumber than Your mom or a monkey with down syndrome! Wikipedia admins ban anybody who inserts "Your mom is ghey lol" on their articles within a split millisecond while uncyclopedian admins take 2 weeks to detect and revert such shit. One of the dumbest admins is Roman Dog Bird. He is such a big fat stupid dog who just faps to fluttershy hentai while Having sex with Zombiebaron (which is a she, and thus has a vagina.) It is worthy of mentioning that No long-term abuse in this site aside of Grawp and MeepSheep Does not target roman dog bird! This just shows how dumb he is and why he deserves 10000000000 Useless gobshite of the month awards.And i even forgot that he doesen't have a fancy signature template! Defintely one dumb dog/bird. De-op him. Seriously for being that stupid.
edit Reason 7; They deleted all my articles/forum topics and They blocked me for that!
They suck at this. SERIOUSLY. I made an BHOP Forum topic saying that bambifan101 will pwn you all, and another one saying I AM GOD, and Zombiebaron deleted them both for a reason of "Vigilance", which is equal to "I just like to delete it" as mentioned at reason 2 in this article. Lets look at the following logs;
- 07:27, October, 2011 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) huffed "Forum:THIS IS NOT A JOKE! BAMBIFAN101 WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOUR MOM" (Vigilance.)
- 07:27, October, 2011 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) huffed "Forum:I AM GOD" (Vigilance.)
WTF. Why BENSON can do that Without getting banned while when i do this my forum topic got deleted and i got blocked for 3 MONTHS!
- 07:30, October, 2011 Zombiebaron (talk | contribs) blocked <insert name here> for an expiry time of 3 months (I AM BAMBIFAN! I AM GOD! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!)
Fortunately, I sent an email to Zombiebaron and he changed it to a 1-week ban. But, WTF? why benson can do that while i can't? These fucking admins are wikibullies! I would like to de-op them, rape them with a dickgirl and force them to watch yaoi hentai until their penises explode. How unfair it was, why they can do that and become god, while when i do it they were like; "ban this faggot"? What an hypocrite.
Also i tried to rewrite the Pokemon article with true and meaty fandom stuff instead of this repetitive outdated shit it is now and WTF, they put my revision onto VFD and 6 people vote for "delete"! eventually i was reverted and the article was sysop-protected again. And the worst thing is Xamralco think THAT kind of repetitive shit was funny. So does ChiefjusticeDS who voted delete for my article because he thinks that pile of repetitive crap was funny as well.
|Offense||Recommended Penalty||Why it is nonexsistent|
|Ban Patrol Disruption||1 week to 1 month depending on severity||Makes sense and the admins do it.|
|Blanking||1 week per page||A Fucking IP Blanked a page and he got banned for TWO DAYS!|
|Creating useless redirects, categories, templates, or stubs||1st: delete & warn, 2nd+: 1-24 hours||The Supermans won't notify users on their talk. They just Delete and block without warning. A buch of gay jews.|
|Edit War / Revert War||1st: revert and warn, 2nd: 1 day to 1 week||Same as above.|
|Harassment||1st: Warn, 2nd: 1 week to 3 months, depends on severity||We don't warn users.|
|Insubordination||1st: Warn, 2nd: 1 hour to 1 week||Where?|
|Plagiarism and copyvios||1st: delete & warn (check it's not about to be sporked), 2nd: 1 week||No such shit. AT ALL.|
|Racism / Hatespeech||1st: Warn, 2nd: depends on severity||RAHB IS A DUMB NIGGER!!!! NIGGER DOGSHIT SANDWICHES!!!!!|
|Shock images, tubgirls, goatse links, etc.||1 month||Sensible.|
|Slandanity (Slander, vanity)||1st: Warn, 2nd: 1-7 days||The Supermans don't do that. they just huff it with a useless delete reason and block the user for two days!|
|Spam (Categorization)||1 hour for first offense||What you say? Categorization spam?|
|Spam (Commercial)||1 week to 1 month depending on severity||Spambots can be blocked for 1 day despite they most likely won't do anything aside of having sex with their webcam babes.|
|Spam (Quotes)||1 hour for first offense||WHAT WAS THAT??????|
|Sockpuppets||Based on behavior||C₂H₆O didn't do anything bad. Yet he was killed indefintely for a reason of Ban evasion account. IS ZOMBIEBARON REALITYSQUARED??????|
|Spambots||Infinite||Haven't saw one for a long time.|
|Tag tampering (ICU, VFD, etc.)||1st: revert and warn. 2nd: ban. Length depends on tag.||nothing to say.|
|Vandalism (major)||1 week per page||Should be replaced as infinte. WHY ARE THEY SAYING SUCH BLATANT LIES?|
|Vandalism (minor)||1st: warn, 2nd: 1 hour to ?||Sensible.|
|VFD Disruption||1 week to 1 month depending on severity||sensible.|
|Voting page Disruption||1 week to 1 month depending on severity||i got blo9cked for 1 day. problem?|
|Anything else||1 second to infinite depending on stuff||H A G G E R ??????????|
Well see? only 4 out of 21 of these "Ban policies" are sensible. The others are totally nonsense out of nonsense, and the admins do what they do; being gay. We should replace these dumb fucks with more efficient people. Also you forgot Lyrithya can create sockpuppets. What a god.
edit Reason 9; They are the main reason people started hating us.
but then in 2009 fewer and fewer long-term contributors join us because all the good stuff were deleted, and Seriously you can't write articles without MORE THAN 6 QUOTES (Not the Master chief ripoff from Cave Story, obviously) and a few in-jokes, yet they think they are golden comedians and deleted anything with the words "Chuck Norris" mentioned on it. I am not supporting a article goes like "GLaDOS is huffed by chuck norris", But Without the in-jokes it is FUCKING DIFFICULT to write an article on site, and spicing the articles with a few in-jokes won't hurt. But the main reason why the admins are the cause that people hate us is they keep deleting the old style articles and write "Witty Humor" articles which nobody cares just to make us look like comedians instead of gods. And comedians can't be gods, they are just wee mortals. We were GODS. In fact like i previously say Filial Piety is NOT FUNNY AT ALL. Lets replace them with people like Mr-ex777. He is so 1337 that Uncyclopedia would become a bunch of gods worshipped by n00bs and trolls upon his presence. Just hoping we would have an in-joke supporting admin. Maybe Hindleyite can save us all be she might want to get All the in jokes huffed Anyway.
edit Reason 10;They are gay.
edit So is there any hope?
These admins are hopeless because they are a steaming pile of dog turd covered onto the top of a huff-o-matic with a gigantic banhammer as it's left arm and a huge cock on it's head (covered in dog turd.) Obvious.