User:Enzo Aquarius/Burger Prince, son of Burger King, is Born
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Enzo Aquarius/Burger Prince, son of Burger King, is Born
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, September 1, 2015, 00:04:UTC)(
15 July 2008
NICE, France - After much speculation, the Burger King has officially confirmed that his son, dubbed the Burger Prince, has been born, weighing a healthy body weight of 20 lbs and 6 oz, with the head at 10 lbs and 2 oz.
Considered one of the biggest pregnancy stories of the year, paparazzi have followed the Burger King and Burger Queen fully along her pregnancy. Originally thought to have twins, this myth was ended after it was discovered that the child in the womb had acquired a Whopper.
In order to escape the never-ending paparazzi, the Burger King and Queen sought a hospital in Nice, France, "It was purely the Burger King's idea. I don't understand why he went there, there are no Burger Kings for miles. Heck, he ordered delivery, which costed him $52 an order, and that's just for the Prince!" says Los Angeles reporter Martin LeFloyd. LeFloyd's lifeless body was later found beside the hospital after hiring a mime to lower him with a rope to the King's hospital room.
Upon hearing about the Prince's birth, the mayor of Nice, Christian Estrosi, made an announcement infront of the hospital, "Je félicite Burger King et Burger Queen sur la naissance de leur enfant. Je suis sûr qu'elle effrayera hors des personnes une fois qu'elle arrive en arrière en Amérique. Enfer sanglant que la chose est un fluage," our translator was not available to interpret this, however, we at UnNews surmise that he had only but praise to give to the family.
After being released from hospital, the Burger Prince was immediately pressed into use in commercials. He first appeared in the Apple Fries commercial upon his arrival in America. Unfortunately, after the commercial aired on FOX for the first time, a number of insanity cases were reported to many hospitals. The Burger King attributes this to the bad kitchen tiling scheme of the set.
"I guess close-ups of square tiles are not popular among the American population," replies the Burger King.