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You have two cows.

To-Do List

6:00-8:00 AM Breakfast, read 1337 Bible.
8:00-9:00 AM Kick some puppies.
9:00-9:30 AM Naptime!
9:30-11:00 AM Edit Uncyclopedia.
11:00-1:00 PM Lunch eaten off of dead babies.
1:00-3:00 PM High Tea with English Ambassador.
3:00-4:00 PM Afternoon Naptime.
4:00-6:00 PM Plot world domination.
6:00-7:00 PM Dinner.
7:00-9:00 PM Video Games.
9:00-10:00 PM Goatse.
10:00-11:00 PM Masturbate.
11:00 PM Sleep time!
RaddrockThis article is obviously created by someone who is Fucking Rad, which makes this article totally sweet. And awesome.


Ukgrable2This user has been explodered due to massive stupidity. Maybe now they will shut the fuck up, hmm?
This person is complete, irredeemable trackball. This user is Bat Fuck Insane, and rotates at the mouth. If you attempt to edit him, you will most likely become Bat Fuck Insane yourself. Or this person will lubricate your disbelief.
“In Soviet Russia, Emmzee date rapes YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Emmzee
“Why did I even leave a comment in this creative black hole?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Emmzee
“He certainly does suck!”
~ Wayne on Emmzee
“I pity the fool that messes with Emmzee! Talking about...bad for the kids! Don't play me for no jibba-jabba fool!”
~ Mr. T on Emmzee
“There is no other man I admire more.”
~ He-Man on Emmzee
“Uhh...that last quote was pretty gay. You want to say something, He-Man?”
~ Bill Gates on that last quote
~ He-Man on Bill Gates' mean comment
“George Bush doesn't care about Emmzee.”
~ Kanye West on Emmzee

I am now bringing Russian Reversal to every page. Watch out for Emmzee, 'cause I am gonna fuck you up. Seriously.

(points to self) (crotch thrusting) (points to you) (points up)

edit My Articles

edit My Images

  • Image:Thisgraph.png
  • Image:Matrickshax.png

edit My Templates

edit My Categories

  • Category:Rad

edit The Man, The Legend, The Breakfast Cereal


Me after taking acid and then looking at Goatse.

Emmzee is one of the coolest mofo's ever. Except for that Gwax guy. He's cool too. But enough of the brown-nosing.

edit Why I am Awesome

Many people have complained that I am "egotistical". Well they don't know shit about me. Here is a short list of my accomplishements:

Cannabagreen This user is Canadian
...and stands for truth,
universal health care
and HOCKEY games!

(List of Canadian Uncyclopedians)

MagicWand.jpg This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.
Firefox Logo This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

C:\>_ This user contributes using DOS.

Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?

Shuriken This user is a Ninja, with dominion over everything totally sweet.
Cs-box This user is addicted to Counter-strike, and won't mind blowing your face off with an AK-47.

Sad clown
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.
rh-N This user is a native speaker of Random Humour.
enr-N This user is a native speaker of Engrish.
17-N This user is a native speaker of 1337.
ca-N This user is a native speaker of Canajan, eh?.
gb-4 This user speaks Gibberish at a near-native level.
gbs-4 This user speaks Galactic Basic Standard at a near-native level.
du-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Dumbass.
us-3 This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of American English.
mor-2 This user is able to contribute with an intermediate level of -- --- .-. ... . / -.-. --- -.. ..
ac-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of those African clicky noises.
fh-1 This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Fuckhead.
tx-0 This user does not understand Texan and hates people that speak it because they're all annoying foreigners.
MW-A Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek MediaWiki whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
il-X This user only speaks Igpay Atinlay enough to seduce native Igpay Atinlay speakers.
MatrickshaxThis user has successfully hacked into the Matricks. What have you done lately?

edit Related People (for now)

That joke never gets old. Ha!

edit My Favorite Articles

edit The 5 Noble Truths

  1. I am Fucking Rad.
  2. I pwn your ass too hard.
  3. I am an Uncyclopedian.
  4. I like Pie.
  5. Metal is the only real form of music.
  6. I was voted "most likely to be eaten by a Grue" at Middle school graduation.

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