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edit Dr. Duff
Dr. Duff is a genderless imaginary construct, with real life applications, just like maths! But really, he's a metaphor of society, as well as a great role model for children. Accidentally produced after an experiment went horribly wrong, his immortality grants him lots of time. Dr. Duff spends his time ruining articles on the internet, because he has a doctorate. And people believe people with doctorates, no matter how stupid they sound. That's why climate science exists.
Dr. Duff is an accomplished scientist with multiple doctrines in areas such as Pentaconstulenze Restitution Care (PRC), Child Cleaning Privatisation (CCP) and General Maintenance Disorders (GMD). He has more Masters degrees than you can poke a stick at. But that's mostly because you can only poke a stick at one Masters, for the other Masters degree will have run away before you can pull the first one off the end of the stick. He graduated from Red Sun Over Red Building Built On Red Nation School (红太阳红楼建造的红色民族国家的学校) in Nanjing's East after studying for over eighteen years. At age forty, Dr. Duff (Not a Doctor at this point) finished his degree in Applied Cosmic Sciences with Satisfactories, the Communist equivalent of Honours. From then, after having learnt to read, Dr. Duff had many academic successes, and received all his other degrees. However, due to China's poor mailing service, it was not until 2008 that he received any recognition for his studies, completed some five years beforehand.
Dr. Duff enjoys short walks on the beach, because he is morbidly obese. He does, however, enjoy long conversations with the furniture repair man on an almost daily basis. Occasionally, Dr. Duff can be seen at his local Vinegar Bar chugging down schooners of Italy's finest Red Wine Vinegar, along side his only friends Mr. Mott and Rev. Rapp. Other regular occurences in the average Duff week include bathing in laundered money, crashing super yatchs and searching for old friend's facebook pages and spamming them with youtube videos of cats.
Dr. Duff does not have a family.
edit Family (Ammendment)
Dr. Duff does have a family but refuses to leak that to his press representatives.
edit Family (Second Ammendment)
Patriachs of the Duff family have the right to wear the family crest.