User:Doomlord106/Explosion ninja

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

A special kind of ninja trained in the art of exploding. Exploding ninjas are extremely deadly, and never die. They just keep running at waves of enemies while surrounded by explosions. Exploding ninjas have learned how to explode without dying. By gathering all of their fecal matter inside of there colon and consuming tons of vodka, they can literally 'shit' explosions. Continuously. For about an hour.

They're like terrorists. Invisible, unkillable, superfast, exploding terrorists. Rather than throwing stars, Exploding ninjas use Exploding Sandwich Cannons. It's a sandwich...that shoots ANUS SEEKING EXPLOSIVE ROCKET LAUNCHERS THAT NEVER MISS THEIR TARGET. So if you see an exploding ninja... PREPARE TO DIE.

edit The American Use of Exploding Ninjas

Perhaps the most contriversal conspiracy in the known universe is the American use of exploding ninjas. Unbeknownst to most people, sky diving exploding ninjas are actually the real source of the explosion at Hiroshima. Yeah, those were exploding ninjas, not atom bombs. oh and 9/11? Exploding Ninjas on a Plane.(starring Samuel L. Jackson, of course!)

Eventually America's government stopped using the exploding ninjas. American exploding ninjas recieved pay cuts. In retaliation to this, the exploding ninjas became a freelance group, selling their services to the highest bidder...which is currently Iraq. Nowadays you can often find them buried under middle-eastern roads. The fact that they sleep under roads often leads people to believe that terrorists are actually smart enough to build land mines. Silly people. Fortunately, the exploding ninjas may have a new country to work for very soon...RUSSIA!

edit Russian's Probable use of Explosions Ninjas

The Russians are most likely planning to use the exploding ninjas after America falls from power. Possible stratagies that the Russian Communists will use are very simple, including sending mass invasion forces lead by exploding ninjas into most of Europe and eventually concur the entire world.

After concquering the world, The exploding ninjas will destroy the dirty Russian Communists with the Maximus Sandvich Cannon of De Exiled Tuna Fish, which will eliminate all Communists and pirates. Then they will launch an environmental dome into space so that the exploding ninjas can accomplish their true misson: To live in harmony with the Cheesy Ninjas of the Moon and repopulate the moon with Over 9000 Ninjas. And destroy the Mudkip Alliance.

edit The Mudkip Alliance/Exploding Cheese Ninja 100 year battle

For centuries most ninjas have fought pirates trying to steal their gold. Against every instinct that the Exploding ninjas had, they refused to fight pirates in order to face the true threat:The Mudkip Alliance. The Mudkip Alliance consists of the most evil, diabolical creatures that humanity has ever seen. Mudkips, Tacos, Possums and many other creatures of the night.

For one hundred years the Exploding ninjas have fought ferociously in a battle that they were slowly losing. But ever since the Exploding ninjas obtained the advanced Cheese technology from the Cheese Ninjas of the Moon, they have managed to turn the tides of the battle, unfortunately, this caused a tsunami, and many Exploding Cheese Ninja were killed. Soon enough,the Exploding ninjas felt invincible, and they were...until one day...the Possum King arrived.

The Possum King arrived with his army of Crabs wielding lazers and cyborg banana possums. The amazing swarm of enemies flocked the Exploding Cheese Ninjas, almost wiping out the entire moon in the process. The Cheese Ninjas of the moon fled and left the Earth defenseless...

edit The Last Battle

The Possum King took his battle to earth, where they annihilated Australia. (because Chuck Norris doesn't like australians and Mr.T was too busy pitying foos. And everybody knows australia doesn't have a military.)

So the last remaining Exploding Cheese Ninjas summoned all the power rangers and megazords ever created. The massive power ranger army and their megazords launched an all out attack on the Possum king...Which failed on an epic proportion. The power rangers got so damn owned that even Chuck Norris thought it was overkill. And then the shit hit the fan.

edit The Shit Hit The Fan

The fecal matter was spread across the world from this damn near magical fan. The last exploding ninja, Suckadick Nopenis The 3rd, Slammed into the mystical jar of dirt in which the Possum King dwelt, and gathered all of the fecal matter around the world...And sacrificed himself to save the world, by creating the most epic hardcore explosion since the big bang. The world was safe...at the cost of every exploding ninja in existence.

edit Attire

Unlike most ninjas, Exploding ninjas are not emo, so they don't wear the usual ninja attire. Rather than ninja suits, Exploding ninjas wear very strange clothes to prove you suck, because even though they're wearing the most outrageous clothing in the known world, they STILL managed to sneak up on your sorry ass. Below is a list of attire that Exploding ninjas wear.

  • Bright pink military uniforms
  • Sombreroes
  • Top hats and monocles
  • Flip-flops
  • Mideval armor
  • Pajamas
  • Straight jackets
  • Clogs
  • Brightly colored onesies
  • T-shirts that say 'I AM A NINJA'

edit links

[[1]] Ninjas

Personal tools
projects