User:DontWakeDaddy/Shirley Temple

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Shirley Temple.

The Shirley Temple was a Jewish place of worship (AKA a church) located in Sodom, Lebanon. The Shirley Temple was destroyed in 200 BC, along with the rest of Sodom, when God decided it was time to smite the damned city. God destroyed Sodom because worshippers were drinking non-alcoholic beverages that contained ginger ale, red syrup, and maraschino cherries while inside the Shirley Temple. To God, the consumption of non-alcoholic cocktails while inside a temple was blasphemy.

The Shirley Temple was also the site of mass religious orgies and child sacrifices. When travelling in the Middle East, the Roman poet Catullus witnessed the sex and debauchery within the temple, and he was appalled that such acts could be performed in a house of worship. He promptly died of a broken heart. Finally, when God decided that the consumption of non-alcoholic cocktails was too horrible an act, He burned the temple and the surrounding city of Sodom.

In the 1930's, a child star known as "Shirley Temple" rose to fame while acting, singing and dancing her way into movie-goers' hearts. She starred in such movies as Backdoor Trannies 5, Creampied Ebony Honeys, Large Asian Cocks on Display, 'Round Asses and Pigtails 4, and her greatest film, Preteen Slut II: The Good Ship Lollipop. After reaching puberty, she began a career as a singing and dancing diplomat.

The actress "Shirley Temple" was actually born Jerome Shepard, but changed her name to "Shirley Temple" in pure mockery of the ancient temple in which millions of doomed Sodomites had sought refuge as their city burned around them. One interesting yet little known fact is that Shepard was actually born a child star, and so she had no justifiable reasons whatsoever to participate in the movies that she did.

edit Famous Quotes revolving around the Shirley Temple

“The Shirley Temple was an ancient temple in Sodom, where millions of people were smited. How dare you name yourself after such a place?”
~ Oscar Wilde, while having intercouse with Jerome "Shirley Temple" Shepard in the film Bukkake Party 8: Gay Poets on Redheads
AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAARRRRggghhhhh!!!! The fire of God burns!!!!I thought this place would be safe!!!!”
~ A Sodomite, inside the Shirley Temple whilst God smited the city of Sodom
“So, wait, I'm confused...there's an actual temple name Shirley Temple, and a child star named Shirley Temple?”
~ John Holmes, while having intercouse with Jerome "Shirley Temple" Shepard in the film G.I.L.F. Hunting 3: Fuck My Ass, Sonny!
“You named yourself after an actual temple?...interesting...What's this? Oh, this is my Lollipop..."”
~ Charlie Chaplin in the tub with Jerome "Shirley Temple" Shepard in the film Preteen Slut II: The Good Ship Lollipop

edit See also

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