User:Doctors Mob

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Dental Damnation (Spanish title: Enjuague y Escupa) is motion picture released in 2002.

edit Plot Synopsis

Roger Melbourne is middle-aged, mild-mannered dentist with a quiet practice on the outskirts of the suburbs of Los Angeles. Quiet, that is, until one day into his office steps a raven-haired, snaggle-toothed beauty, Margo Underwood. Roger is instantly smitten with her, and she quickly seduces him into painting her apartment while she goes on vacation.

On the day she’s set to return, he decides to pay her a surprise visit. He approaches her apartment and finds the door is a jar. Pushing the jar aside, he enters and is shocked to find that the place has been entirely cleaned out, with nothing but the furniture, the carpet, the appliances and the television remaining in the barren, empty room. And...a large red stain in the middle of the bearskin rug.

Forgetting he had spilled paint there the night before, Roger goes to work to clean up the mess. Suddenly two cops appear at the door. Roger, who has an outstanding warrant from a dental floss scam years ago, panics and jumps out the window, landing in passing garbage barge.

He passes out. Next thing he knows he wakes up in a dirty motel room on the outskirts of the suburbs of Los Angeles. He rushes to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. Suddenly he feels an urge to tear off his shirt, and in doing so finds that his chest is tattooed with important things he has to remember: “Take library books back on Thursday” and “Gallon of milk, loaf of bread, stick of butter.” Hoping to clear his mind, Roger splashes his face with water repeatedly, and then shaves, taking care to use a moisturizer to avoid razor burn.

Trying to pretend everything is normal, Roger goes to work but is so distracted by the previous day’s events that he finds he has given his receptionist a root canal and has straightened the teeth on his comb.

That night, Roger tries to calm himself down, but nothing works: booze, pills, a cup of cocoa, nothing will take the edge off. Finally, in a last-ditch attempt to soothe his frayed nerves, he decides to read the comics in the newspaper. He begins chuckling so violently at the “Family Circus” that he falls backwards and hits his head on the coffee table.

He passes out. Next thing he knows he wakes up floating face down in a reservoir on the outskirts of the suburbs of Los Angeles. Roger leaps to his feet in a panic. “Where am I? What day is it?” he says out loud. He checks his watch. “Friday morning!” Now his books are overdue at the library. He runs to the highway and flags down a highway patrolman, who agrees to take him to the nearest town. As the cop drives, he begins to eye Roger in the mirror. Roger, realizing that he’s a wanted man, slinks down in his seat. “Hey,” the cop says, “I know who you are – you’re that Jim Belushi guy.” “James Belushi,” Roger says, playing along in hopes that his true identity won’t be revealed. “Yeah, well I hated Destiny Turns on the Radio,” the cop says, pulling the car over and throwing Roger bodily onto the side of the road. “Oh, and you might want to take a look at these,” the cop says, flinging an envelope at Roger before speeding off. Roger opens the envelope to find pictures of himself standing over Margo’s mutilated body with a bloody knife.

Roger starts to suspect what he had long suspected all along, that he has an evil twin brother, and the twin brother is the one who perpetrated the dental floss scam. Vowing revenge, he tracks his long-lost twin to an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of the suburbs of Los Angeles. Roger corners his brother in the funhouse, and a tremendous gun battle enuses. Roger shoots and kills his brother, but as he’s standing over the dead body, the voiceover reveals that Roger was one of triplets, and that he has killed the wrong brother. And not only that, but the brother he has killed is himself.

A dream sequence then occurs which shows how he’s been dead all throughout the movie: how everyone ignores him at parties, how he can’t get anyone’s attention at the DMV, why is ex-girlfriend won’t return his phone calls, etc.

Roger stumbles out of the funhouse and into daylight. A newspaper blows across his feet. He picks it up to find that the Margo Underwood murder has been solved – it was suicide. Margo hated the color that Roger painted the apartment and threw herself repeatedly on an icepick. Relieved and vindicated of the crime, Roger hops in his Miata and drives away down the streets of the outskirts of the suburbs of Los Angeles.

End credits roll as “I Ran” by A Flock of Seagulls plays.

Rated R for violence, language, and disturbing images of crooked teeth

Personal tools