User:Docile hippopotamus/HowTo:Become RAHB

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Latest revision as of 09:30, December 29, 2012

“The cavalry has arrived.”
~ RAHB talking about his dick.
“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to brocolli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”

So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be totally lame cool like RAHB?

Whats that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I’m glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!

Gorillatrans HowTo 
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
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edit Step 1: Murder RAHB

Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptee's, who will supply you with the unViagra needed to incapata incapiti RAHBicide kill him.


Self portrait of RAHB. Painted skillfully by the moo cow.

edit Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH

When your RAHB, your articles are soo cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. Be sure to bribe and threaten users so they vote for you, or else they won’t vote, since they will think that they are not cool enough to vote for your articles unless bribed or threatened.

edit Step 3: Listen to bad music

No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.


Our scientists agree, foreplay is important if you want to be RAHB.

edit Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick

You’re not RAHB unless you’ve got an obsession with dicks. Talk about how long and mighty it is, and don’t worry that your lying about your dick (RAHBs is only 2 inch).

edit Step 5: Complain about everything

Whenever someone says something you don't agree with, ask him or her, “Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?!” then surprise them.

edit What now?

Now that the real RAHBs gone and your acting like RAHB, people will think your RAHB and you can take over his place on Uncyclopedia! AND BAN ANYONE WHO THINKS OVERWISE!

edit See also











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