User:Dinosarecool123/HowTo:Have swag

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Why hello there if you are reading this article you are probably either:ugly, a nerd, a dummass,a loser or nobody like you. But don't fret I will teach you on this article how to get swag.After all you really need it, like for real are you like wearing your grandmas clothes or something. After you are done reading it you might even have as much swag as me. Lets begin shall we.

edit A little History for the Nerds

If you are a nerd which you probably are you might be wondering what the hell is swag anyways(NOTE: If you are a dummass or a loser don't bother reading this section you'll probably be really confused since you don't know what History is you are probably lucky you could read this article you dummy)? Well swag is when a boy or a girl dresses in a way that everyone wants to look at you and be like you and stalk you and follow you around and live in your closet and even observe how you take a shit. Anyways swag started out when a random guy one day decided to go to school wearing (what at the time seemed ridiculous since people used to wear collar shirts and dresses or something) some shoes that looked like moon boots, a hat with a sports team, a fake G-shock, and skinny jeans. Well at first the kids laughed at him but then using his superior force he beat them up and he forced the people who made fun of him wear the same clothes. Some other people later saw them and like every human being they started dressing like them. Here are a few examples of swag:

edit Swag Fags

These are people who have mastered the art of swag and at some point over did it. These people still get all the bitches but somehow they look like morons since they over do something. For example a guy instead of using one hat he uses two hats which just makes him look like a dumb ass but hey hes got swag.


A typical Swag fag observe how he has mastered the art of swag

edit The Poser

One day while trying to fit in a boy decided to dress like the so called swag fags. Unfortunately for the boy was poor since he spent all his money on world or Warcraft or something. Well the boy went to the Swap meet and he bought his clothes there. But the kids in the school realized that his clothes weren't real so he was teased relentlessly until he started cutting himself and started the new trend known as emo. Present day posers tend to want to be like the swag fags but just end up failing and embarrassing themselves.


edit The Wannabe

The wannabe is a subspecies of the poser and is often confused with the poser. The wannabe doesn't dress like the poser but wants to be a swag fag or wants to be in their group of friends. The wannabe is usually quickly rejected but the wannabe doesn't go without a fight. The wannabe usually follows the group around even if nobody wants them there, even especially if he/she is not wanted there. If the group of swag fags continue to reject them the wannabe starts relentlessly staking them like : following them to the bathroom, showers, lockers, hiding under their bed, watching them sleep, and eventually savagely murdering them.


edit Getting swag

Well now that you have your little piece of history now it is time to get swag. To have swag you will need to look the part, dress the part, act the part, and talk the part.

edit Looking the Part

Well one of the first rules of having swag is looking the part. I mean you can't have swag if you look like a nipple nosed monkey who got hit by a steam roller and got shat (yes I said shat)by an elephant. Which is basically how you look right now. But anyways to fix that you have three options: 1. Get plastic surgery on your ugly face 2. Murder someone and wear their face 3. To kill yourself and hope reincarnation is what really happens when you die (even if reincarnation is real you are such a loser you will probably end up as yourself again).

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