User:Digi/Captain Pwnage

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edit Captain Pwnage

“Captain Pwnage, he's the uberest and he's teh ghey”
~ Oscar Wilde on Captain Pwnage, sung the the tune of Captain Scarlett

Captain Pwnage was an enlisted officer level superhero active during the war on terror in the early years of the twenty first century. He was killed by Mujahadeen in Iraq in 2009 in a failed counter-terrorism operation.

edit Origins

In 2004 various nerds of the organisation of leetness decided there was a need for a lolcat style digital superhero to protect them from cyber nobheads, dribbling over their style. Hence Captain Pwnage was born. He was originally confined to the world of comic books, that is until 2005 when by a process known as copyright infringement he began to be active in various troublespots.

edit Combat Style

Captain Pwnage prefers a hands on style of fighting, often with copious opportunities for catchphrases to be said during combat. This necessitates the need for short pauses in the fighting many of which are orchastrated by bribing the henchmen of the enemy.

In addition, Cptn. Pwnage often fights with a number of brash and youthful sidekicks, who are described in more detail below.

edit Sidekicks

  • Asbo Jimmy is a reformed Chav who has renounced his unproductive ways and joined the forces of good to help make up for his mispent childhood.
  • Private Uber is a new recruit, who gained prominence due to his superb Ubery skills.

edit Activities in the War on Terror

In 2005 Captain Pwnage began to involve himself in the Iraqi theater

edit Cowardice

A notorious video appeared on You Tube appearing to show Captain Pwnage fleeing from a mob of angry townsfolk in the Iraqi town of Fallujah. It added to his embarrasment when further analysis of the video revealed that the mob were chasing him with feather dusters and throwing marshmellows. After initial denials Captain Pwnage admitted that the video was genuine and offered a full appology to his fans and the people of the free world.

edit Death

edit Funeral Blooper DVD release

edit Controversies

edit Allegations of Genocide in Darfur

edit Promotion of Alcoholism in Schools

edit Sexual Harrasment Lawsuit

edit Insider Trading

edit Charitable Work

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