From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
She is currently considered to be the pride of the news industry, right along side other annoyances such as Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and Lou Dobbs. Time named her their 11th Loudest person of 2007 last March.
edit Early life
Nancy Grace was born in Macon, Georgia to a working-class family. Her father was a very abusive man which would explain why she acts the way she does toward all men, or something like that.
edit The mysterious murder of her first husband
edit Nancy Grace's show
Hello, tonight we're [some intro here...].
edit Nancy Grace on husbands of victims
He was the one who killed his wife! I know he did. Why else would she have gone missing? Who cares if he was the one who called the police and hasn't slept for a week because he's worrying about her?!? He did it! Let's unleash the lawyers.
Nelson Mandela, don't you think it's unusual the man was at work when his wife disappeared?
"Nancy, that gives him a perfect alibi. There's no possible way he did it!"
Shut up. I know he did it. That video of him that was aired on the local news honouring him for his 15 years of work that was taped when she went missing was clearly doctored! I know he did it.
"What? There's no possible way he could have done it! What the hell is wrong with you, Nancy? Why do you instantly blame the husband? Believe it or not, not every male wants to kill his wife!"
Shut up. You're a defence attorney,AND a male. No one cares about you're opinion. Let's go out to female prosecutor. Nelson Mandela, what do you think about it?
"Oh Nancy, I completely agree with you! He did it. That suicide note and the video the victim uploaded to YouTube just six minutes before going missing saying she was leaving and never intends to return home to her kids and that she found a new man and is moving to Nebraska was fake! No women would ever leave her kids. We aren't men!"
I completely agree with you. No mother could ever abandon her children. I know I would never abandon my kids. They are perfect angels. Earlier today I took pictures of them taking a bath by themselves. Little (girls name) was pushing her brothers head under the water. It was so cute.
edit Nancy Grace takes a call
Let's take a call. Nelson Mandela from The Argentine Antaractic Territory, what do you think?
"Nancy, I love your show and your babies are so adorable. Anyway, I completely agree with everything you've said, Nancy. When are the police going to arrest this man? Had I been this man's wife, I'd of killed him. After all, I've murdered two of my husbands. I love you, Nancy."
Thank you for your call. My babies are adorable, aren't they? It was so much fun giving birth. There isn't a single thing that is greater than the experience of pushing out two premature babies and holding them in your arms watching the placenta roll down their beautiful faces. Later tonight, I'm going to post 41 exclusive images of the twins sitting up for their first time.
Next caller, Nelson Mandela.
"Uh, hey Nancy. I just wanted to call in and said your babies are cute AND I'M GONNA RAPE THEM! Also, that man killed his wife. How do I know? She sucking me right now. Oh shit! I'm 'bout to cum!"
I know. My babies are perfect. This past Monday, little (her boy's name) fell off the balcony. His sister was laughing. It was so funny.
When we come back from the break, we are going to talk about the latest thing these celebrities are filling our innocent children's minds.
edit Nancy Grace on celebrities
These people are despicable! They are horrible rolemodels for our children! How dare they go out parting and
edit O.J. Simpson
HE DID IT! Lock this man up! I
edit Nancy Grace on her perfect babies
My babies are so perfect! Just yesterday, little bleh mer beat her brother over the head with my steel-spiked dildo before taking a pillow and smothering until he was passed out. She is a proud, independent woman just like her mommy! I'm so proud of them. They are so precious!
I'll be uploading 129 new images today of their used diapers. I've been collecting them. They're so cute. My babies are my pride and joy. They are so much better than any other baby! I love them so much!