User:Dexter111344/Dexter's Battle - 11/13/44

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Dexter Malon
Hell, Germany
November 6, 1944




Edwin Malon
2920 Berry Drive
New York, Georgia



Dear Edwin,

We're moving out soon. Probably in a couple of days. God, how I crave to be home now... So, how are the twins? Mom hasn't had any trouble with them, right? Please tell her I really enjoyed what she said about General Eisenhower's smile. The whole platoon was cracking up laughing when I read it to them. And tell her I'm not going have my phone in Florida taken out of the old place. I love that old phone with a passion. It was the only really private property I ever had in mom's entire kibbutz. Be kinder to mom, Eddy, if you can. I don't mean just because she's our mother, either, so don't you think that. I know how you think.

Anyway, you really should do it. Anything to not have to get sent here. It's Hell, little brother. It really is. There's this one guy who always talks his ex-girlfriend. How he got something from her. There are a bunch of guys like that, too. The crap they're claiming about how we are heroes... Huh! Just propaganda. Don't believe it. God, I really hate this place. The have us cleaning windows on the barracks for Christssakes! We've only been in one little fight, too. And that was just an assault on the camp. I don't see how we are ever suppose to win this war if that's all we've even done!


Much love little brother,
Dexter


*P.S., God, the fumes from the latrines drift over here at night, too. It's disgusting. I'm about to throw up again. Every night, for Christssakes! You don't wanna be here.
**P.P.S., Don't you dare forget to write me, dammit!


edit "Hey, we're moving out!"

Dammit.[1] Yes sir!

(7 minutes later outside running)

So, what's this about, Sarg?

Cquote1 There's an attack on the other side of camp. Damn Germs! Cquote2

Shit. An actual fight... Isn't that where the new munitions are?

Cquote1 Yeah! The fucking bastards found out about them somehow. I think they want to steal them. Well, at least destroy them so we can't use 'em! Cquote2

(On the radio) "Sargent, we need" - *BOOM* "Fuck! I just shit myself! We need backu"- *static*

Cquote1 Dammit! John! Can you hear me?!? Cquote2

We lost him...

Cquote1 FUCK! DUCK DOWN!!! Cquote2


edit Footnotes

  1. Almost everything in italics from this point are his thoughts, you fruittards. Yes, I do believe in extra and unnecessary explanations. After all, you are dumb enough to not realize this simple fact. Come on, you're reading Uncyclopedia, after all...
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