Loser of the Year
This user is on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is uncertain. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
Bow Down To My Greatness!
This user hates George Bush and therefore believes he must be arrested and tried for war crimes.
This user is just your friendly neighborhood cyberbully/ troll, per conviction without questioning.
This user got to second base with your mom and your sister.
This user chooses the fate of articles on
VFD. Fear Them.
This user uses Skype! Skypename: timjenkkkins
Featured articles in bold. Quasi-features in
( 32 completed; 10 work(s)-in-progress that will be finished by the end of the never)
Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time - I was the original IP who created this dreaded list, and, since I created an account, I've added the pictures, improved the grammar throughout the article, rewrote the beginning phrase, and added several of the pick-up lines. Failed VFH because it was a list...
Reasons for the Holocaust - I'm done. It's good. There!
Alfred Packer - I saw this when I was going through the Recent Changes one day and I expanded it from just the Captain Planet theme song-type lyrics to an actual article.
Are You Gayer Than Mr. Garrison? - Mine bitch (technically .
not mine, but I take credit) Popeye the Sailor Man - WiP.
Albert Fish - Mostly true, but I find it funny as hell.
Conspiracy theory - They're after me!!!
Space Ghost - It's decent, but it still doesn't feel complete. Oh well.
Nancy Grace - WiP. Will finish by summer's end.
I do what I wanna do - Psychotic. I have no idea.
Citizen Cyrus - Watched Citizen Kane and thought, "That is a fucking awesome movie". Then, I read something about Miley Cyrus. Then, I watched Robot Chicken's Citizen Spears sketch. That's when I put one-and-one-and-one together. WiP.
- Why Bill Richardson never stood a chance. Received a 41.25 on You should talk about ponies - A letter to Bill Richardson Pee Review. Failed on VFH. But came back and got featured!!! It barely changed between versions, though...
- Rewritten for the Douche Conservation Week of September 2008. Vandalism expected to occur. Featured on March 29, 2009.
50 Cent - Rewritten for the Conservation Week of September 2008. Vandalism expected to occur. A lot.
Viola - Rewritten for the Conservation Week of September 2008. As a cellist, I really want to vandalise this...
Mount Asshat - Rewritten (actually expanded, but it counts!) for the Conservation Week of September 2008
My mommy - Expanded to keep from being deleted. And the Bat Fuck Insane tag makes sense on it, too. I made the horrendous audio, too.
Dexter's Battle - 11/13/44 - WiP. Right now, it's just formatting hell.
Rotten Ovaries - Inspiration comes from dumb high school girls. Serious. WiP.
- Fuck you if you don't like it. Failed A wizard did it VFH... (Also on Illogicopedia!) Has . This has good article status (which isn't really an official quality-status, but whatever) Featured April 28th, 2010!!! I win! What is it that I win? Don't know, but it's still fucking magical or something!! Suck on that. NUMBER 2 ARTICLE OF APRIL 2010!! AND NOW IT'S NUMBER 2 OF 2010!! - Rewrote. Failed on Idiots VFH! Idiots! God! It now has horrendous audio, which needs re-recording to accomadate the party section! Featured by some idiots on April 7th, 2011, GOD!
Zeus - Rewrote for the Conservation Week of April 2009.
Obama's America - WiP. Obama is going to kill us.
A Satyr's Tragedy - Yes. The first new piece of satyr mythology in more than 2000 years. Cause I'm awesome like that.
High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home - Read a certain other article, then wrote this crap.
1992 - Wrote for the whole "rewrite the thing...
Timeline" - Epic rewrite. Bitch Featured June 2nd, 2010.
A wizard did it: A Retrospective (With Socky) - Failed VFH. Douches.
1996 - Will finish on August 11th. WiP.
- Parody of Conservapedia's article on the subject. Hollywood values Featured on May 23rd, 2010. Tied for second best article of May 2010.
- Grandpa is racist. Actually, my grandfather died when I was 8. And I didn't know my other two at all. Yes, I had three grandfathers. Some assholes thought it was too "ranty", so it didn't get Gramp's Insane Ramblings: Life Lessons featured. Fuck those faggots.
Christian side hug - WiP.
Franklin Pierce - WiP. Repeat.
GRIDS - With Electrified mocha chinchilla. WiP.
Columbus, Georgia - If only it wasn't completely true...
Several interpretations of that day's events - Wrote in under an hour. Failed on VFH.
Minnesota Vikings - Not mine. I stole this from a site about lepers. Failed on VFH, for some reason.
That time I was plundered in the ass by a Viking during my voyage to a retirement villa - In response to Brett Favre's 2010 claim that he was going to retire.
Apple - I saw this ICU'd and knew what I had to do (Massive Expansion). This is proof that EVERY article can be saved and rewritten. People need to quit being lazy.
- Chicken inspired. New York hobos Featured January 18th, 2011.
- Rewrite for the first PLS of 2011. Did miserably in the judging (4 out of 6). Adam West Featured March 16th, 2011.
Celebrity Impersonation Syndrome
UnNews Articles I Wrote
( 32 UnNews, bitch!)
And if you can't tell, I was reading comics ya idiot.
Third lead article on Jan. 23-25, 2008.
Second lead article on 17:29, 2 June 2008, through 22:38, 5 June 2008 (Haha! Right through my birthday! Yay!}
Second lead article on 10:26, 4 July 2008 , through 15:22, 8 July 2008 (And apparently the third lead article for about 4 hours on July 8...}
HowTo's I Wrote
( 6 finished; 3 work(s)-in-progress)
Why?'s I Created
( 4 completed}
( 2 written)
( 11 horrible narrations)
Other pointless things I wrote