Loser of the Year
This user is on vacation, holiday, sabbatical, administrative leave, or is otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. Or, more likely, they've buggered off without saying boo to anyone. Their expected date of return is uncertain. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.
Bow Down To My Greatness!
This user hates George Bush and therefore believes he must be arrested and tried for war crimes.
This user is just your friendly neighborhood cyberbully/ troll, per conviction without questioning.
This user wishes all skinheads smelled like Mr. Clean.
This user chooses the fate of articles on
VFD. Fear Them.
This user uses Skype! Skypename: timjenkkkins
Featured articles in bold. Quasi-features in
( 32 completed; 10 work(s)-in-progress that will be finished by the end of the never)
Worst 100 Pick-Up Lines of All Time - I was the original IP who created this dreaded list, and, since I created an account, I've added the pictures, improved the grammar throughout the article, rewrote the beginning phrase, and added several of the pick-up lines. Failed VFH because it was a list...
Reasons for the Holocaust - I'm done. It's good. There!
Alfred Packer - I saw this when I was going through the Recent Changes one day and I expanded it from just the Captain Planet theme song-type lyrics to an actual article.
Are You Gayer Than Mr. Garrison? - Mine bitch (technically .
not mine, but I take credit) Popeye the Sailor Man - WiP.
Albert Fish - Mostly true, but I find it funny as hell.
Conspiracy theory - They're after me!!!
Space Ghost - It's decent, but it still doesn't feel complete. Oh well.
Nancy Grace - WiP. Will finish by summer's end.
I do what I wanna do - Psychotic. I have no idea.
Citizen Cyrus - Watched Citizen Kane and thought, "That is a fucking awesome movie". Then, I read something about Miley Cyrus. Then, I watched Robot Chicken's Citizen Spears sketch. That's when I put one-and-one-and-one together. WiP.
- Why Bill Richardson never stood a chance. Received a 41.25 on You should talk about ponies - A letter to Bill Richardson Pee Review. Failed on VFH. But came back and got featured!!! It barely changed between versions, though...
- Rewritten for the Douche Conservation Week of September 2008. Vandalism expected to occur. Featured on March 29, 2009.
50 Cent - Rewritten for the Conservation Week of September 2008. Vandalism expected to occur. A lot.
Viola - Rewritten for the Conservation Week of September 2008. As a cellist, I really want to vandalise this...
Mount Asshat - Rewritten (actually expanded, but it counts!) for the Conservation Week of September 2008
My mommy - Expanded to keep from being deleted. And the Bat Fuck Insane tag makes sense on it, too. I made the horrendous audio, too.
Dexter's Battle - 11/13/44 - WiP. Right now, it's just formatting hell.
Rotten Ovaries - Inspiration comes from dumb high school girls. Serious. WiP.
- Fuck you if you don't like it. Failed A wizard did it VFH... (Also on Illogicopedia!) Has . This has good article status (which isn't really an official quality-status, but whatever) Featured April 28th, 2010!!! I win! What is it that I win? Don't know, but it's still fucking magical or something!! Suck on that. NUMBER 2 ARTICLE OF APRIL 2010!! AND NOW IT'S NUMBER 2 OF 2010!! - Rewrote. Failed on Idiots VFH! Idiots! God! It now has horrendous audio, which needs re-recording to accomadate the party section! Featured by some idiots on April 7th, 2011, GOD!
Zeus - Rewrote for the Conservation Week of April 2009.
Obama's America - WiP. Obama is going to kill us.
A Satyr's Tragedy - Yes. The first new piece of satyr mythology in more than 2000 years. Cause I'm awesome like that.
High school: an essay by an old lonely man in a retirement home - Read a certain other article, then wrote this crap.
1992 - Wrote for the whole "rewrite the thing...
Timeline" - Epic rewrite. Bitch Featured June 2nd, 2010.
A wizard did it: A Retrospective (With Socky) - Failed VFH. Douches.
1996 - Will finish on August 11th. WiP.
- Parody of Conservapedia's article on the subject. Hollywood values Featured on May 23rd, 2010. Tied for second best article of May 2010.
- Grandpa is racist. Actually, my grandfather died when I was 8. And I didn't know my other two at all. Yes, I had three grandfathers. Some assholes thought it was too "ranty", so it didn't get Gramp's Insane Ramblings: Life Lessons featured. Fuck those faggots.
Christian side hug - WiP.
Franklin Pierce - WiP. Repeat.
GRIDS - With Electrified mocha chinchilla. WiP.
Columbus, Georgia - If only it wasn't completely true...
Several interpretations of that day's events - Wrote in under an hour. Failed on VFH.
Minnesota Vikings - Not mine. I stole this from a site about lepers. Failed on VFH, for some reason.
That time I was plundered in the ass by a Viking during my voyage to a retirement villa - In response to Brett Favre's 2010 claim that he was going to retire.
Apple - I saw this ICU'd and knew what I had to do (Massive Expansion). This is proof that EVERY article can be saved and rewritten. People need to quit being lazy.
- Chicken inspired. New York hobos Featured January 18th, 2011.
- Rewrite for the first PLS of 2011. Did miserably in the judging (4 out of 6). Adam West Featured March 16th, 2011.
Celebrity Impersonation Syndrome
UnNews Articles I Wrote
( 32 UnNews, bitch!)
And if you can't tell, I was reading comics ya idiot.
Third lead article on Jan. 23-25, 2008.
Second lead article on 17:29, 2 June 2008, through 22:38, 5 June 2008 (Haha! Right through my birthday! Yay!}
Second lead article on 10:26, 4 July 2008 , through 15:22, 8 July 2008 (And apparently the third lead article for about 4 hours on July 8...}
HowTo's I Wrote
( 6 finished; 3 work(s)-in-progress)
Why?'s I Created
( 4 completed}
( 2 written)
( 11 horrible narrations)
Other pointless things I wrote