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edit Dem Articels


Portrait of a messiah

Jesus de Christo (pronounced Hey-Zeus), or, as his crew acknoledges him, Captain Jesus, is the leader of the pirate vessel, The Ark. Many pirates hail him as the High Seas Messiah, although most just go 'arr!' and get back to whatever they were doing before he happened to walk up to them.

Jesus de Christo was born to a poor Mexican family in Cuba. His mother, whose name was Mary Lopez was a virgin at the moment of birth. This fact has been disputed and proven wrong, as it turns out that Mary was a cheap drunk, and that she only believed herself a virgin. The bar that she often worked at believed otherwise.
One fateful night in a drunken stupor, she shacked up with a man named Gabriel. Nine months later, she took her leave from Cuba, shortly after being fired from the bar for gaining a distinctly noticable amount of weight. There, in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico, Jesus was born upon a deflated plastic raft.
When they landed in Florida, Mary met up with Gabriel, who had discovered that he had a son via Professor X's Cerebro technology. They moved to California, where Gabriel became a tire salesman and Mary, an erotic dancer. They were married and lived happily. (Read More...)

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My Creations

Kidney Stone Gun | Captain Jesus | DDR Power Generator | Template:Firearms | Image:Captainjesus.GIF | Image:Lastsupper.JPG | HowTo:Explode | Image:Tomcruise.JPG | The Russian Reversal Zork Project! | Emo Tic-Tac-Toe | Cheerios | HowTo:Avoid Pregnancy | Image:Victory.JPG | Image:Victory2.JPG | Image:Oreilly.JPG | Image:McWorship.JPG | McWorship | Reticle | Image:Headstonetrue.JPG |

Old Page is here. I think this is much more prettiful. Construction Page is here.

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