User:Deadpool992/Rorschach
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Rorschach (pronounced RAW-BALLSACK-SEX) is a bat fuck insane superhero but with no real super powers. He wears a mask that has inkblots on them, which are in ever constant motion. He is also Retarded.
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[edit] Early Life
Rorschach had a really funny childhood. His real name is Walter Kovacs. HA HA HA!!! HIS NAME IS WALTER!!! Anyways, his mom was a hooker, which was really, really funny. His mom would fuck him and beat him until he bled out of every part of his body. Now this, was the funniest part of his childhood. His dad died after he was assaulted by a manchild and his mom died after drinking Drano. Which was also very funny. Walter was never happier.
[edit] Becoming Rorschach
After witnessing the murder of his grandma by Adolf Hitler, Greg Louganis, and M. Bison, Walter decided to become a superhero. He became Rorschach after taking his name from the Rorschach Inkblot Acid Test, which he used while doing coke. He made a mask made out of a substance that would keep he completely high for six hours. As long as he was high, he was unstoppable. Walter found one of the killers, Greg Louganis, and cut his balls off and shoved them up his ass.
[edit] Early career
Rorschach met his longtime friends, the Cookie Monster and Same Sound Brown, while appearing alongside them on episodes of Sesame Street during the 1970s. Upon entering his new lifestyle of being an hero, Rorschach made friends with many other vigilantes. This included the fursuiting Owl-obsessed Jew guy, Nite Owl II! The two established a partnership together and forever remained bestest butt buddies. Rorschach stalks Nite Owl during night-time often, raiding his cabinets dry of all sugarcubes and beans. Rorschach tells Nite Owl he is a good friend.
[edit] resourcefulness
Unlike Dr.Manhattan with his super powers or Night owl with his gadgets, Rorschach is basically a bat-fuck insane hobo in a trench coat. Rorschach has been known to use anything from his own teeth to a can of cooking spray as a deadly weapon. Some describe him as a Macguyver who kills people. Instead of wasting his time finding a way to use a paper clip some string and gum to escape in cunning and unexpected manner, Rorschach uses that same paper clip, string and gum to kill everybody and walk out the front door.
[edit] Rorschach in the eyes of others
Suprisingly, Walter isn't very well liked in the superhero community. Here's what they have to say:
“That crazy thing isn't really working for him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Rorschach's insanity.
“We have enough crazy people in the world right now.”
~ Batman on Rorschach's insanity.
“No way is he joining the Justice Society.”
~ George Lazenby on Rorschach joining the Justice Society
“Lets have him join the Batmen of All Nations”
~ The Batmen of All Nations on Rorschach joining them.
“Rorschach Sucks!”
~ The Question on Rorschach's methods.
“I like Rorschach. After all, I did create him.”
~ Alan Moore on Rorschach.
[edit] Club of Heroes
Anyway, as no one was liking Rorschach, the Knight decided to invite him into one of the most hated superhero groups of all time the Club of Heroes. He had fun for a while. But when the group broke up, everything changed.
[edit] Becoming Bat Fuck Insane
Rorschach soon thought eveything was connected. He made various allegations that didn't make sense. Here are some of them.
- Sanjaya Malakar being a tool in a government conspiracy to gain control of the American Idol. That one he did get right.
- George Bush being creator of the smiley face.
- The Death of Superman and Captain America.
- JFK's bastard son Tony Hawk.
- John Mark Karr.
- AIDS and Richard Simmons.
- Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton being lovers in an attempt to gain control of the United States and make a rule to only have black people and dykes in the U.S.
- The deaths of his former Sesame Street co-stars Mr. Hooper in 1982 and David in 1990 as being part of a BBC plot to take over public broadcasting.
[edit] The Final Days
Rorschach soon discovered from Fred Phelps that he would die. He set out to rid the world of evil and killed rapist Gary Glitter. The Police leader Sting had come back from space and attempted to kill Kovacs. They found each other and fought. Walter won by kicking Sting in the balls and found Hitler and M. Bison. The two were having sex together and they teamed up and fought each other. As Rorschach killed Hitler, Bison shot him in the head and Rorschach died.
[edit] Post Death
Rorschach's diary was found and published as a comedy novel and made into a movie called Diary of a Bat Fuck Insane Superhero. M. Bison was viciously attacked by Walter's spirit and had to have his penis removed since Walter masturbated it too much. The rest is history. And nobody will miss him.
[edit] Trivia
- Walter is the brother-in-law of Q from Street Fighter
