User:David Gerard/The Journal of Uncyclopedian Studies, No. 1, April 1st 1860
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The Journal of Uncyclopedian Studies Issue One, April 1st, 1860 Price 1d. Editor and Founder: Oscar Wilde
-- From The Editor
- This most wondrous of times, this youth of eternity, as heir to those ancient times, and parent to the future, is forever a "new era" to the mind on an Uncyclopedian. That all we have learn'd and the many questions and new learnings to come, will bring forth the sum of all knowledge, and bind us as one in the quest for these most highest of ideals.
- That we as students in the Art of Uncyclopedic Studies, and as gentlemen in the service of her most gracious majesty, may stand at this time before you, bereft of all pretentiousness in the fullness of our quest....
-- Announcements (as supplied by Her Majesty's Royal Flying Google)
-- Advertisement Thos. Crapper's Hygienic Home Humorous Device
- something about queen victoria
"It has been vouchsafed to us by Legitimate Perkins, aged 11, that his tutor, Mr. Asymptote, is of questionable manliness."
"Control your manliness! with the PRINCE ALBERT(tm) Immodesty Alleviator(tm). (pat. pend.)"
-- sannse ideas:
- obscure victorian explorers - going to places that *no one* has EVER BEEN TO! except those strange natives of course
- lots of stuff about how the victorian male is the pinnacle of evolution
- ummm... victorian women's diseases... hysteria, (caused by a swelling of the womb) - makes them think they are real people. puns on "hysterically funny"
- and (a real one from victorian medical records) "mongoloidism" (that downs syndrome to us now) is caused by the mother being frightened by a cow.
- there was a lot about opium dens then I think? run by "oriental" gents in the back streets of London. so, kitten huffing dens. Image:Kitten den.jpg. this might be good too -> Image:Falstropskittenhuffing.jpg (not shopped, just found and a caption added ... well, ok, so I had to add a kitten...)
- jack the ripper (bugger the date problem) (I said "stuff" -- sann)
- Empireipods - a gentlemans club giving away free gramaphones for a) money b) reffering gnetelmen to do the same - Image:Empireiphone.jpg
- Jingoism, White Man's Burden, Manifest Destiny