User:David Gerard/Ideas

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If you can think of some way to get these to fly, go right ahead. Some work in progress can be found on User:David Gerard/Draft.

Cheers to #uncyclopedia for all the BAD AND FUCKING WRONG.

  • Clichézilla - mind you, I think Originality gets close. OTOH, Wikipedia:Snowclone and its associated list might be useful.
  • Uncyclopedicus noncoherenticus nrv - the disease I've been in bed with for the past two weeks and will be for another one. From Cctoide on IRC.
  • Cctoide: "Uranus, right? Stupid shit, right? MySpace, right? MyAnus! Stupid. Shitty. Share." Dawg proceeded to spork his eyes out, so I think we're onto something here.
  • List of Pokemon by National Pokedex Number - I mentioned this on IRC as a Wikipedia article that makes me lose the will to live. "<zim_ulator> ugh <shudder> Pokedex sounds like what my protologist keeps his patients phone numbers in" I laughed out loud and realised it belonged here.
  • My Three Year Old Gave Me AIDS - a one-liner from Keitei. I'm not sure there's actual article text that could do the idea justice. I certainly hope there isn't.
  • Neuroipodcast - subscribe to the messages the government beams into your head, weekly!
  • Bot Out Of Hell - the obvious idea is a rewrite of the lyrics, but there must be a better idea there. "Meh, whatever floats your bots" - Tompkins.
  • The line "The nipple makes a terrible text editor." struck me as inspirational. From a discussion of emacs as "intuituve" (wtf) and the nipple as the only intuitive UI.
  • Something about chav angels or trailer trash angels. Taking the -ael or -iel ending for angel names and prefixing with lower demographic names, e.g. Wayneael, Cletusiel, Sharoniel, Tracyiel, etc.
  • Microsoft Frontwiki - from Mahroww's user page. This one needs some lengthy and detailed bitterness.
  • Sock-to-Sock Protocol - from Guest on IRC. To be written in the style of an RFC. "Checking for open socks server." If Some user is really quitting writing, someone needs to continue the series. "Stay on the scene! Like a socks machine!" (Codeine) - See User:Guest/STSP
  • Police Academy 50: The Thin Film of Horse Cells Beaten Into The Asphalt - Bobcat Goldthwait can reprise his famous role as a sock puppet.
  • Tantric headlock - a throwaway line from Henry Rollins that caught my ear. This title screams "READ ME!" - now it just needs an article to do it justice - David Gerard 08:46, 26 March 2006 (UTC)
  • Seen on LJ: "... which is more than I can say for myself, I would have laughed in her face. Seriously, they're deer, what does she think they eat, Krispy Kremes and porno mags?"
  • Aliens stole my 808 - saw this in the huff log. Something about it triggers my "ya know, we need that article" filter.
  • Mourning Wood - an article on the Beatles song about a necrophiliac. (Paul is dead.)
  • User:David Gerard/Meconium - the last element in the periodic table.
  • Contraceptive - other people's children. "Now now, little Asbo, stop setting fire to your sister Asbette." "FUCK OFF, MUMMY CUNT! FUCKING FUCK! FUCK!" "Aw, darling boy!"
  • Suicide littering (or jaywalking, or double parking) (Splaka)
  • What Not To Wear - Afghanistan (stonings for violators) (Splaka)
  • Whole New You - China (chinese government admitted this week to organ theft of executed prisoners) (Splaka)
  • "Like an online dating site, except for orphaned socks. If that happens, I fear Microsoft will have won yet another victory." - spam poetry received by a friend.
  • The Famous Five in the Twenty-First Century. They can be called Chardonnay, Brooklyn, Asbette and Obi-Wan. With Thatcher the pit-bull. (Allude to the kids' previous names: Dick, Fanny, Titty and Arse.) Holiday trips to Sheppey Island. CIGARETTE SMUGGLERS!
  • Journal of Dancing about Architecture Studies - academic rock journalism journalism.

edit LesbOs

  • [22:10] NeoZidane: so, im thinking for a name for my OS
  • [22:23] Mhaille: LESB OS
  • [22:24] wolf: wow, that's an idea!
  • [22:25] wolf: LesbOS
  • [22:25] Mhaille: if DG was here that would be an article by now
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