User:Dasistgutja/Deep-fried iPod

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“Mmmm.... Crunchy and musical!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Deep-fried iPods

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The deep-fried iPod was invented by a person called Chris White, a worker in McDonalds, and only known relative to this guy. One day Chris was listening to his iPod and 'cooking' food. Of course this was only McDonalds and not real food but it still counted as cooking.

While he was over by the deep frier he staggered, presumably under influence from the kittens he had been huffing, and dropped his beloved gizmo into the frier. Chris was at a loss, he called for his boss, but he was too stoned to help, so he called in the Ghostbusters, Superman, Batman and Robin, and for good measure, Inspector Gadget.

Now of course this crack squad of crime fighters managed to retrieve the item, but how can you have superheroes without villains? So, after a brief encounter with Lex Luthor, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Joker, they saved the iPod. But there was one grievous loss, well not really, it was only Robin, who also fell into the frier, and went on to completely revolutionize the lives of a group of gnomes who had taken up residence in the fast food restaurant. Now, the iPod. At first glance the iPod was ruined, but lo and behold, when the buttons were pressed, what sweet music came forth! The iPod was fixed, and, miraculously, edible also. Chris saw his chance, and went immediately with Inspector Gadget on a Goomba killing rampage. Inspector Gadget soon saw no sense in this and suggested to Chris that he sell his new 'invention' to hungry lunatics.

The craze caught on, and soon there were deep-fried iPods (or deep-friedpods, so called by the children of the day.) everywhere. Everyone wanted a piece of the crunchy action. People were eating them in the streets, listening to them in shops, and using them as examples for a whole new world of deep-fried ideas. Anyone who was anyone (everyone) had a deep-friedpod or two, and they were given as wedding gifts, birthday presents and the such. There was also plenty of deep-friedpod merchandise, such as bobble hats which shouted out to anyone who cared to read them: 'The deep-fried iPod is my one and only god' And other catchy slogans. There were T-shirts, games, even films about deep-friedpods. There was a whole separate area which concentrated on food they could make to go with deep-friedpods, but none was as tasty as the musical madness of the deep-friedpods.

Chris became a millionare, and on the 12th october, 1978, confessed his love for Inspector Gadget. By the year 1979, they were happily married and living in Oxford, England, where Chris made daily visits to his friend Jack the kitten dealer, who also ran the part of his business in England. Sadly, Chris died of a rare form of face-aids in June 1982, and Inspector Gadget inherited everything.

The Inspector decided that he would leave the deep-fried iPod business and start a new life living on the Moon. He insisted to reporters that this had nothing to do with the way Apple was persistently trying to issue him a court summons. So Inspector Gadget took half of his fortunes and left for the Moon, leaving his company in the very unreliable hands of some guy.

Inspector Gadget loved his new life on the Moon, and spent his time playing with his children and many pet fish. He returned intermittently to Earth to star in a cartoon show or two, or to replenish his supply of kittens.

Here, the story of the deep-fried iPod ends, but ever shall we remember what it taught us: Do not huff kittens while working in McDonalds, as you will end up married to a cartoon character and get face-aids.

This article is not funny, and you should be ashamed for reading it.

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