User:Dark Paladin X/Cream the Rabbit

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{{title-left|Cream the Rabbit}}
{{Whoops|John Mayer}}'''Cream the Rabbit''' is a cute sugar-addicted hyperactive optimistic pacifist crybaby young six year old rabbit girl and a perfect prank victim. She is known to have a friend Chao, '''Cheese''' ('''Velveeta''' in many Spanish speaking countries like [[Venezuela]]) She is among the great demons of the video-gaming underworld.
 
   
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[[Image:Cream_the_Rabbit.jpg|right|thumb|300px|AWWWWWWW.....how cute!!!! *drools*]]
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{{wikipediapar|Cream the Rabbit}}
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'''Cream the Rabbit''' is a cute sugar-addicted hyperactive optimistic pacifist crybaby young rabbit girl and a perfect <s>[[torture]]</s> <s>[[rape]]</s> <s>NO! Torture!!</s> <s>Oh shut the fuck up!! No more rape and torture shit</s> prank victim. She is known to have a <s>pet</s> friend Chaos, '''Cheese''' ('''Velveeta''' in many Spanish speaking countries like [[Venezuela]]) She is well known for her cuteness that everyone wants to be her for 24/7 (or at least want to give her hundreds of kisses). Cream cries a lot for no fuck reason. Heck, she cried like 1.75 million times in her 6 years of her life. She lives with her mother named Vanilla (her daddy is unknown, but it could possibly be [[Rise Against|Joe Principe]]). Currently, she is traveling with Sonic and his friends. There were rumors that she is in love with [[Tails the Fox|Miles "Tails" Prower]], but that is proven to be total bullshit.
   
 
==Biography==
 
==Biography==
[[Image:Manaphy.png|left|thumb|Cream's pet Cheese.]]
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Cream the rabbit was born in 2001 in some alternative universe (called Moebius or something). She was given birth by Vanilla and some unknown father, but we really don't need to know about the papa, just the cute Cream. She was raised in a giant estate with a giant swimming and a tavern where noobs can get drunk. One day, when Cream (around the age of 1196 days) was fucking around the forest gather some random flowers, she came across an injured Chaos with [[Holy Cheese]] next to her (Ok, we really don't know the gender, some sources say the chaos is a girl, but others say it's a boy. Just to be safe, [[User:Dark Paladin X|I'll]] say [[hermaphrodite]]). Since Cream found the chaos next to cheese, she just called her "Cheese." Ironically, Cheese is allergic to cheese, but the gist is that Cream and Cheese become buddies and they look out for each other. Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! How fuckin' cute!!
Cream the rabbit was born in 2001 in some alternative universe (called Moebius or something). She was given birth by Vanilla and Sonic the Preggo, but we really don't need to know about the papa, just the cute Cream. She was raised in a giant estate which was stolen from Chris Thorndyke's parents. One day, when Cream (around the age of 1196 days) was fucking around the forest and trying to gather flowers, she came across an injured Chaos with [[Cheese]] next to her. Since Cream found the chaos next to cheese, she just called him "Cheese." Ironically, Cheese is allergic to cheese.
 
   
[[Image:Cream Taken Hostage.jpg|right|thumb|Cream and Cheese the Chao being held hostage by [[Al Qaeda]]... for the 18th friggin' time!]]
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One day, Cream got kipnapped by no other than [[Osama bin Laden]] and his [[Al-Qaeda|henchmen]]. This is when her mother Vanilla called in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Vector the Crocodile]] to rescue Cream (the first guy to save Cream was rewarded a free trip to Jamaica and $75,000). Eventually, Sonic killed bin Laden (the bin Laden was actually a [[Pod People|pod person]]) and 500 of his henchmen and saved Cream (Vector, on the other hand, was offered $1 million by [[George W. Bush]] to kill Fidel Castro, but failed and end up trapped in Cuba. That greedy bastard). However, since Vanilla had to pay $75,000 to Sonic, Cream and her mother ended up losing their estate and was forced to live in a shitty small cottage with no electricity. Cream was really pissed at Sonic. She, however, didn't care about money and made friends with him. Ever since that day, she traveled with Sonic and his friends in differents places in the world like [[Zimbabwe]], [[North Korea]], and [[Iran]].
One day, Cream got kidnapped by no other than [[Osama bin Laden]] and his [[Al-Qaeda|henchmen]]. This is when her mother Vanilla called in [[Sonic the Hedgehog]] and [[Vector the Crocodile]] to rescue Cream (the first guy to save Cream was rewarded a free trip to Jamaica and $75,000). Eventually, Sonic killed bin Laden and 500 of his henchmen and saved Cream (Vector, on the other hand, was offered $1 million by [[George W. Bush]] to kill Fidel Castro, but failed and end up trapped in Cuba. That greedy bastard). However, since Vanilla had to pay $75,000 to Sonic, Cream and her mother ended up losing their estate and was forced to live in a shitty small cottage with no electricity. Cream was really pissed at Sonic. She, however, didn't care about money and made love with him. Ever since that day, she travelled with Sonic and his friends in different places in the world like [[Zimbabwe]], [[North Korea]], and [[Iran]].
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==Personal life==
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Uggghh....do I have to go over this shit?
   
 
===Favorites===
 
===Favorites===
[[Image:Cream's Butt.png|right|thumb|Cream taking a [[panty shot]] of her ass.]]Cream and Cheese's favorite food is ice cream. Yep, ice cream. Which kinda explains what makes Cream and Cheese optimistic and hyperactive. It also enables Cheese to frikin kick ase when he/she/it gets mad. Their ice cream favorite flavor is vanilla and strawberry. She also like to feed his chao some shit for taming it when it gets mad at her. When the milatary got pissed she was happy.
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Cream and Cheese's favorite food is ice cream. Yep, ice cream. Which kinda explains what makes Cream and Cheese optimistic and hyperactive. Their ice cream favorite flavor is vanilla and strawberry. However, if you happens to spike a vanilla ice cream with [[brocolli]], dyed the ice cream pink, and give the ice cream to Cream and Cheese; you are going to have some [[owned|funny results]]. Cream enjoys listening to songs from [[John Lennon]], which explains why Cream is a pacifist. She loves to pick random flowers from a field (she's actually allergic to [[forget-me-nots]], which causes Cream to get knocked out and have [[amnesia]]), having tea parties with Tails, and watching televison (her favorite show is none other than [[Pokemon (Show)|the hit reality TV show Pokemon]]).
She also likes to make [[child porn]] when she's alone in her room.
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Cream's favorite movie is [[Brokeback Mountain]], a highly emotional <s>gay</s> [[homosexual]] movie that makes her and Cheese cry a lot.
   
 
===Dislikes===
 
===Dislikes===
As a pacifist, she dislikes other killing the shit out of each other or those using any physical or verbal violence. Whenever she sees any kind of fighting going on, she takes out her trusty chainsaw and waves it everywhere to make the "scary fighting go away". She is afraid of [[Thanksgiving]] because it means "a cute innocent little turkey is hurt" and she has a turkey ranch, and when she eats it, it gives her huge gas for an hour.
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As a pacifist, she dislike other killing the shit out of each other or those using any physical or verbal violence. Of course, she knows how to [[judo]], but sucks at it. She also doesn't like people being an asshole, especially pranksters. Also, since Cream is an optimistic whore, she doesn't like seeing people get mad or sad, but with a [[weed|little magic]], the person will be happy again.
 
Of course, she knows [[judo]], but sucks at it. She also doesn't like people being an asshole, especially pranksters or dealers who sell nothing but regs. One time some idiot putted a pie in her face that made her cry to her mommy and for Cheese, well you don't want to know but it involves crap. Also, since Cream is an optimistic whore, she doesn't like seeing people get mad or sad, but with a [[weed|little magic]], the person will be happy again.
 
   
 
===Personality===
 
===Personality===
Cream follows her manners and respects [[Your mom|everyone]]. She follows the policy of tolerance, love, and being nice to everyone (especially [[Al-Qaeda]] and [[Dr. Eggman]]). Cream does not "hate" anyone, because simply hate is quite a strong word (and every time somebody says that word, she starts crying like a total sissy and covers her ears). Instead she loves and respects everyone around her (and those who try to harm her, she just only show respect by kicking them in the nuts). Whenever someone says crap she also sovers her ears and screams "MOMMY, [[South park|Mr. Garrion]] said a bad word!
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Personality? Cream follows her manners and respects everyone. She follows the policy of tolerance, love, and being nice to everyone (especially [[Al-Qaeda]] and [[Dr. Eggman]]). Cream does not "hate" anyone, because simply hate is quite a strong word (and everytime somebody says that word, she starts crying like a total sissy and covers her ears). Instead she loves and respects everyone around her (and those who try to harm her, she just only show respect). She is highly naive and she always do as she is told and always follow the rules (that means Cream WILL wear a stupid hijab in Iran [[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad|Mr. Ahmadinejad]] because it's the rules and she always follow the rules; well, she won't do something stupid like [[rape]]). Due to her naivety, she can be the perfect target of <s>torture</s> [[prank]]s.
   
Cream is also a total crybaby, she cries when someone stole something from her that is really unimportant(Cheese), when someone she loves, or when some random asshole pranks her (oh, such as putting a " kick me really hard" sign on her back or duct taping her eyes, feet, and her hands while sleeping). In fact, the number of tears from her crying will most likely solve any water problems that develop(eew...)
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Cream is also a total crybaby, she cries when someone stole something from her that is really unimportant, when someone she loves, or when some random asshole pranks her (oh, such as putting a "I'm a [[douchebag]], kick me really hard" sign on her back or duct taping her eyes, feet, and her hands while sleeping). In fact, the number of tears (in gallons) from her crying can fill a typical swimming pool 20 times over.
   
Cream's childish acts can sometimes get her in trouble. One time she crossed the road and guest what happened, she end up causing a car pileup a mile long and the drivers were so pissed they chased here about a mile and tackled her, beat the crap out of her, tossed her in a dumpster, put a cat in it, and walked away (the cat chased Cream down the road till she got to her house). She also can be really evil at times and act so innocent and cute, like how she joins with Amy and Cosmo to taunt Knuckles and Vector. One time she had such a big innocent demeanor when they played baseball, she gave one of Eggman's robots a boner and made it drop the ball as she ran to first base. She may be childish, but kinda sexy somewhat.
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===The rumor of Cream and Tails relationship is a HOAX===
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Some of you people wondered that there is a love relationship between Cream and Tails. However, this has proven to be a total BULLSHIT. The rumor was actually spread by fans and [[emo]]s in internet blogs stating that Tails and Cream love each other. The reason why most people thought about this is because Tails and Cream seem to be together most of the time. People, [[User:Digimon|a friend of mine]] confirmed that Tails and Cream just friends and they don't any love feelings for each other. Tails is really in love with [http://www.absoluteanime.com/sonic_x/cosmo.htm Cosmo], some random unimportant bitch. Cream, on the other hand, said that she DOES a boyfriend that she loves, but the boy isn't Tails. Rumors says that the boy Cream loves is [http://www.merqurycity.com/ssx3/boarders_ssx3_mac.html a wannabe rapper gangsta who have some snowboard skillz].
===The rumor of Cream and Tails relationship===
 
Some of you people wondered that there is a love relationship between Cream and Tails. The rumor was actually spread by fans (Idiots). Also hinted by some of the games. The reason why most people thought about this is because Tails and Cream seem to be together most of the time. People, normally see them together because of their personalities. Also their ability to fly.
 
   
 
===Skills===
 
===Skills===
Cream is extremely good at playing the Nintendo game [[Animal Crossing]] . In addition, she is really good at [[space brownies|cooking]], sewing, doing laundry, writing short stories and poems, and experienced at proofreading your English homework. So if need some [[Flying Spaghetti Monster|spaghetti]], need a fix on your [[You press this, you die|pants]], or need some revamping on your Engrish essay, you can go find her and have some help on it. She does it for [[what are you, stupid?|free]] Really. Also she can fly for 24 seconds so the wind can help but not and fell than
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Cream know how to judo (as well as Cheese), but she sucks at it. Instead, she's quite good at cooking, sewing, doing laundry, writing short stories and poems, and experienced at proofreading your English homework. So if need some [[Flying Spaghetti Monster|spaghetti]], need a fix on your [[underwear|pants]], or need some revamping on your English essay, you can go find her and have some help on it. She does it for free. Really.
die. "If she is lucky she will survive". Cream is a master of Kung fu. "Once he beat up link ass
 
then went crying to Zelda then broke up".
 
 
==Cheese the Chao==
 
[[Image:Amy with butler.PNG|thumb|190px|Cheese with Cream and Amy after participating in an eye-crossing contest.(Can you say creepy?)]]
 
Cheese is Cream's BFF and is rarely seen apart of Cream. He also has a part time job eating souls on weekends and [[Halloween]]. He wears a red bow tie that only diffrences him to other chao. He's been with Cream for like ever and on time was lost till he's been found 5 minutes later. Oh if you take Cheese away from Cream, she will panic and maybe have a emotional breakdown (like Tails did when he killed his girlfriend). Cream and Cheese are rarely seen apart and heir are rumors said that Cheese the Chao is allergic to cheese and thats still on debate.
 
 
==Marriage==
 
Cream and Sonic got married on Sonic's birthday, June 23rd, 2011 in Mobius. Amy got really pissed and rammed her hammer all over Sonic, but then Cream and Cheese kicked her ass and sent that bitch running home, crying. Sonic and Cream lived happily ever after in her house and decided Cheese to be their child and Vanilla didn't really give a shit how old or young Cream was to marry Sonic since apparently she doesn't seem to grow or age from six years old, Sonic and Cream soon started having sex anytime they wanted, which made Sonic a pedophile. Many suspect that this was Tails' doing after being pissed at a group of Tails x Cream shippers pestering him. Oh yeah, Tails was having sex with Cosmo so it wasn't his fault.
 
[[Image:Sonic-and-cream-getting-married-sonic-couples-18332101-602-451.jpg|right|thumb|900px]]
 
   
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Also, Cream masters [[snowboarding]] and [[skiing]] really well, you should come see for yourself to experience it.
   
{{Sonic}}
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===Cream is a <s>torture</s> prank victim of [[The Über Pokéemo Sociopath|the Über Emo]]===
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Cream is one of two known <s>torture</s> prank victims of [[The Über Pokéemo Sociopath|the Über Emo]] (the other is [[May (Pokemon)|May]] from the hit reality TV show Pokemon). Ever since Cream was [[straitjacket|traumatized]] from the Über Emo's <s>torture</s> prank, she fears him a lot. As tradition, she shows respect to the Über Emo by calling him "Mr. Über Emo" before letting him <s>torture</s> prank her. Of course, she could try to use her judo skills against him, but she sucks at judo. Besides, the Über Emo masters [[Taekwondo]], which we all know Taekwondo is better and more leet than judo.
   
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The reason why Cream is a nice <s>torture</s> prank victim is unknown, but many believe she's a total crybaby.
   
[[Category:Games]]
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Unlike May, Cream gets <s>tortured</s> pranked more frequently by the Über Emo. This is because Vanilla had lost all her money to Sonic and cannot afford a restraining order. Therefore, the Über Emo can freely <s>torture</s> prank Cream
[[Category:Animals]]
 
[[Category:Sonic]]
 
[[category:SEGA]]
 
[[Category:Cute]]
 
[[Category:Whores]]
 
   
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[[Category:Games]]
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[[Category:Animals]]
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[[Category:Sonic]]
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[[category:SEGA]]
 
[[es:Cream the Rabbit]]
 
[[es:Cream the Rabbit]]
[[pt:Cream the Rabbit]]
 
[[Category:Rabbits]]
 

Latest revision as of 01:53, December 3, 2011

Cream the Rabbit

AWWWWWWW.....how cute!!!! *drools*

Bouncywikilogo2
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Cream the Rabbit.

Cream the Rabbit is a cute sugar-addicted hyperactive optimistic pacifist crybaby young rabbit girl and a perfect torture rape NO! Torture!! Oh shut the fuck up!! No more rape and torture shit prank victim. She is known to have a pet friend Chaos, Cheese (Velveeta in many Spanish speaking countries like Venezuela) She is well known for her cuteness that everyone wants to be her for 24/7 (or at least want to give her hundreds of kisses). Cream cries a lot for no fuck reason. Heck, she cried like 1.75 million times in her 6 years of her life. She lives with her mother named Vanilla (her daddy is unknown, but it could possibly be Joe Principe). Currently, she is traveling with Sonic and his friends. There were rumors that she is in love with Miles "Tails" Prower, but that is proven to be total bullshit.

edit Biography

Cream the rabbit was born in 2001 in some alternative universe (called Moebius or something). She was given birth by Vanilla and some unknown father, but we really don't need to know about the papa, just the cute Cream. She was raised in a giant estate with a giant swimming and a tavern where noobs can get drunk. One day, when Cream (around the age of 1196 days) was fucking around the forest gather some random flowers, she came across an injured Chaos with Holy Cheese next to her (Ok, we really don't know the gender, some sources say the chaos is a girl, but others say it's a boy. Just to be safe, I'll say hermaphrodite). Since Cream found the chaos next to cheese, she just called her "Cheese." Ironically, Cheese is allergic to cheese, but the gist is that Cream and Cheese become buddies and they look out for each other. Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! How fuckin' cute!!

One day, Cream got kipnapped by no other than Osama bin Laden and his henchmen. This is when her mother Vanilla called in Sonic the Hedgehog and Vector the Crocodile to rescue Cream (the first guy to save Cream was rewarded a free trip to Jamaica and $75,000). Eventually, Sonic killed bin Laden (the bin Laden was actually a pod person) and 500 of his henchmen and saved Cream (Vector, on the other hand, was offered $1 million by George W. Bush to kill Fidel Castro, but failed and end up trapped in Cuba. That greedy bastard). However, since Vanilla had to pay $75,000 to Sonic, Cream and her mother ended up losing their estate and was forced to live in a shitty small cottage with no electricity. Cream was really pissed at Sonic. She, however, didn't care about money and made friends with him. Ever since that day, she traveled with Sonic and his friends in differents places in the world like Zimbabwe, North Korea, and Iran.

edit Personal life

Uggghh....do I have to go over this shit?

edit Favorites

Cream and Cheese's favorite food is ice cream. Yep, ice cream. Which kinda explains what makes Cream and Cheese optimistic and hyperactive. Their ice cream favorite flavor is vanilla and strawberry. However, if you happens to spike a vanilla ice cream with brocolli, dyed the ice cream pink, and give the ice cream to Cream and Cheese; you are going to have some funny results. Cream enjoys listening to songs from John Lennon, which explains why Cream is a pacifist. She loves to pick random flowers from a field (she's actually allergic to forget-me-nots, which causes Cream to get knocked out and have amnesia), having tea parties with Tails, and watching televison (her favorite show is none other than the hit reality TV show Pokemon).

Cream's favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain, a highly emotional gay homosexual movie that makes her and Cheese cry a lot.

edit Dislikes

As a pacifist, she dislike other killing the shit out of each other or those using any physical or verbal violence. Of course, she knows how to judo, but sucks at it. She also doesn't like people being an asshole, especially pranksters. Also, since Cream is an optimistic whore, she doesn't like seeing people get mad or sad, but with a little magic, the person will be happy again.

edit Personality

Personality? Cream follows her manners and respects everyone. She follows the policy of tolerance, love, and being nice to everyone (especially Al-Qaeda and Dr. Eggman). Cream does not "hate" anyone, because simply hate is quite a strong word (and everytime somebody says that word, she starts crying like a total sissy and covers her ears). Instead she loves and respects everyone around her (and those who try to harm her, she just only show respect). She is highly naive and she always do as she is told and always follow the rules (that means Cream WILL wear a stupid hijab in Iran Mr. Ahmadinejad because it's the rules and she always follow the rules; well, she won't do something stupid like rape). Due to her naivety, she can be the perfect target of torture pranks.

Cream is also a total crybaby, she cries when someone stole something from her that is really unimportant, when someone she loves, or when some random asshole pranks her (oh, such as putting a "I'm a douchebag, kick me really hard" sign on her back or duct taping her eyes, feet, and her hands while sleeping). In fact, the number of tears (in gallons) from her crying can fill a typical swimming pool 20 times over.

edit The rumor of Cream and Tails relationship is a HOAX

Some of you people wondered that there is a love relationship between Cream and Tails. However, this has proven to be a total BULLSHIT. The rumor was actually spread by fans and emos in internet blogs stating that Tails and Cream love each other. The reason why most people thought about this is because Tails and Cream seem to be together most of the time. People, a friend of mine confirmed that Tails and Cream just friends and they don't any love feelings for each other. Tails is really in love with Cosmo, some random unimportant bitch. Cream, on the other hand, said that she DOES a boyfriend that she loves, but the boy isn't Tails. Rumors says that the boy Cream loves is a wannabe rapper gangsta who have some snowboard skillz.

edit Skills

Cream know how to judo (as well as Cheese), but she sucks at it. Instead, she's quite good at cooking, sewing, doing laundry, writing short stories and poems, and experienced at proofreading your English homework. So if need some spaghetti, need a fix on your pants, or need some revamping on your English essay, you can go find her and have some help on it. She does it for free. Really.

Also, Cream masters snowboarding and skiing really well, you should come see for yourself to experience it.

edit Cream is a torture prank victim of the Über Emo

Cream is one of two known torture prank victims of the Über Emo (the other is May from the hit reality TV show Pokemon). Ever since Cream was traumatized from the Über Emo's torture prank, she fears him a lot. As tradition, she shows respect to the Über Emo by calling him "Mr. Über Emo" before letting him torture prank her. Of course, she could try to use her judo skills against him, but she sucks at judo. Besides, the Über Emo masters Taekwondo, which we all know Taekwondo is better and more leet than judo.

The reason why Cream is a nice torture prank victim is unknown, but many believe she's a total crybaby.

Unlike May, Cream gets tortured pranked more frequently by the Über Emo. This is because Vanilla had lost all her money to Sonic and cannot afford a restraining order. Therefore, the Über Emo can freely torture prank Cream

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