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“Anyone know where I can find these guys?”
Ten years ago, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.
Several years ago, a genetically mutated man gathered a group of others like him. He established a school to teach them how to use their power. Then one day, a mutant betrayed them. The first mutants students then joined together to fight him. The team they formed was known as, The X-Men
And one day on their separate missions, these two teams joined together in the greatest combination since elephants and BBQ sauce to form:
The A-Men, religious crime fighters.
They work together to defeat their enemies: The Democrats, their Atheist allies, and their leader President Barrackwell Huscong Magbama.
If you are a redneck, if you are inbred, if you hate those damn dirty liberals, then maybe you can hire:
- Col. Hannibal Lecter
- Doctor Lecter first came to attention when he published a (rhetorical) paper on the beneficial effects of consuming human flesh. This caused a great deal of controversy and eventually Dr. Lecter responded to it with a formal apology. Days later several major campaigners against Dr. Lecter's book were found dead with many of their internal organs partially consumed. Dr. Lecter remarked that his book was never meant to be taken literally and he is shocked that readers decided to carry out those subjects touched on in his paper. Upon investigation some of Dr. Lecter's DNA was found at the crime scene, an investigation was expected to follow this but the police in charge mysteriously disappeared.
- Rush LimBAugh
- Formed when a genetically mutated pig was infused with a liter of Mr. T's Blood Rush LimBAugh uses his many, many, many, many chins to trap the Democrats minions.
- Murdock, The Archbishop of Canterbury
- Murdock defeats his enemies bu giving them a direct one-on-one reading of the bible. This usually takes a short time, as listening to it melts the heretic's brains. The few survivors die of boredom.
- Pastor Thomas Robb
- Leader of the KKK, he funds the team and gives them use of his army of evil ghosts.