User:Dalar

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Moo.

Yes, moo.

Now, go get me a sammich.

NOW!

Oh, and some randomly contributed Oscar Wilde quotes by me:

"Damn, this guy was mean. I was like, 'whoa, gimme a taco', and he was like 'no way man, NO TACOS FOR YOU!!'. I think I've never cried over a taco so much in my life -- and that's saying something."

   ~ Oscar Wilde on the Taco Nazi, big-meanie-extrodinairre

"I really liked Jean, he was an easy-going fellow. For example, he once give me his entire collection of dryer lint from the Finnish Consulate buildings in Washington -- free of charge."

   ~ Oscar Wilde on crack

"I swallowed so many quarters once, a soda machine asked me out for dinner. What? No, swallowing quarters can't make you hallucinate!"

   ~ Oscar Wilde on quarters

“I went to a Green Day Concert once and Billie Joe tried to kill me! IT WAS AWESOME!!!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Green Day

“I was so high when I wrote this, that I almost instilled moral values into the stories. Holy crap, was that a close one! Phew!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on drugs

“I've dated zoologists before, but they kept making breatheing sounds and would always insist on wearing pants in public. Odd fellows, they are.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on zoology

“I still blame the moon to this date for influencing Laura Secord's cow into biting Sharky, my pet Llama.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on moon

“Hmmm... no, I'm not a squirrel. But I can tell you some true things about Lithuanians, for example...”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Lithuanians

“That bastard still owes me twenty bucks for some tricks we pulled in Kapuskasing back in '81.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Pierre Trudeau

“Back in my wilder days, I would disguise potatoes as beans and sell them at the corner market. Good times, those were.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on bean

“I was there in the beginning, and let me tell you: I've never seen that many platypuses wearing thongs since.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Genesis

“This movie convinced my first wife to have an abortion, it was so bad. She just couldn't bear to bring children into a world that would create such a terrible film. On the other hand, I liked it!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Jacobite Rebellion

“If comedy isn't waddling around with a bowler hat and cane, then I don't know comedy.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Charlie Chaplin

“That 'stache was something else.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Charlie Chaplin

“If you think I'm surreal, you should see this guy's walk-in medicine cabinet. He actually had Q-tips specifically made for his lawn gnomes!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on David Lynch

“He had a fine pair of buttocks. You could bounce a nickel off them four times, at the very least.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Bertrand Russell

“I once saw him do two chicks at the same time while playing Beethoven on his cello. That guy could party!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Yoyo Ma

“Don't quote me, but I can tell you she once had a fling with Jesus Christ, Superstar. In fact, that's what led her down the road to perdition”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Annie

“I'll say one thing: Tuvalu can throw one hell of a party. I once saw the Tuvalu pimp doing a line of coke off his nun's cleavage -- now that's a habit!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Tuvalu

“Tastes like chicken, but without the dry aftertaste.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on angels

“It was the last thing I did before I found Jesus. Poor guy was trapped underneath a wheelbarrel in my back yard.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Calling for Help

“These guys kept asking me for a quote, but I gave them nothing more than panda-love.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on NUS

“I once met a man named Occupant, then he turned out to actually be a lamp post. I miss that guy.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Occupant

“You know what's really scary? I once thought I had married a barrel clown, but then it turned out to be Sheena Easton!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Barrel Clowns

“OK, seriously dude, this place has the best nude yodelling competitions known to man.”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Republic of Lee Kingdom

“Screw Polly, I want a cracker!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on pollytheism

“Man, I am confused! Why do these pans have penises again?”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on crack

Man, I could really go for a caramel bagel and an enema right now. Oh, and Green Day rules... yeaaaahhh!”

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Green Day

"Matt Damon!"

   ~ Matt Damon on Matt Damon

"On the streets these days, a dime bag of kittens costs a pretty penny."

   ~ Oscar Wilde on Kitten Huffing
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