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The United States of Arabia
|‑ Messiah||Crazy Achmed|
|‑ Emperor||Steve Jobs|
|National Hero(es)||Steve Jobs, Crazy Achmed, Muhammad Ali|
|Still waiting from Oilism|
|Religion||Oilism 90%, Islam, Christian, Jew 10%|
United States of Arabia is the only place on Earth where Steve Jobs were alive since BC 5000 and secretly invented the mp3 player iSlam. There's also many diversion including iRaq, iRan, saudiArabia, and iSrael but none of them are comparable with success iSlam had achieved. There were also many counterparts have been invented including Yemen (a successor of Ramen made by Toyota)
edit Facts and Figures
- The population of Arabia is exactly made up of thieves and prostitutes.
- Average Annual Precipitation - More than what your wife produces
- Land area - Decided by the owner of Jurassic Park
- National Animal - Undoubtedly Dinosaurs and Camels
- Favorite Food - Lizards, Camel oil
- National Idols - Muhammad, Osama Bin Laden, Nancy Ajram, Mohamed Zidan
- National Heroes - Raptor Muhammad, Osaka Bin Laden, Adolf Ahmadine Hitler
- Most Favorite Europeans - Adolf Ahmadine Hitler, Stalin (before Sadam Hussein), George W. Bush (after Sadam Hussein)
- Funniest Arabians – Sharukh Khan, Amir Khan, Mr.Bean
- National Pastimes - Casablanca by Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart
- Average Span of Rulers - Until Arab Spring arrives
- National Military Forces - Osama Bin Laden, Al Qaeda, Taliban
- Allies - #&(&*@&#*@&#@*&#*@&*!&(*@&*!^%%^@%^**@
- Worst Enemies - Zionist Jews, Americans
- Other Enemies - Surprisingly Iran
- Even more enemies - The Earth, the Galaxy, UFO
- Least favorite country - The one everyone hates
- Least Favorite Europeans - Reza Pahlevi, Mustafa Kemal
- National Currency – Nuts (not half-brained jackass, a kind of fruit in desert that can be eaten or bolied)
- GDP - The worst in the world even without international sanction
- The Arab girls are fond of Korean movies and popstars, that makes many Arab men go to Korea for plastic surgery to make them more look-like Koreanized.
- Another fashion among Arab girls is artificial hymen, mostly imported from Israel.
- The Jews are forbidden to enter Arabia for they really sucks in Arab’s point of view. However, Arab girls really love to be fucked by Jewish men.
- Most Arab men are scumbags or assholes who only make living by dealing drugs and smuggling prostitutes. To make this legal they formed a charitable organization named Muslim Brothelhood. 
It is said Hagar, Abraham’s beautiful concubine, was impregnated by a camel before she got screwed by Abraham after their wedding. Shocked by the ugly face of Hagar’s newborn, Abraham exiled his concubine and her hybrid to Jurassic Park, then named her newborn “IsHeCamel?” (Hebrew: Ishmael). When the half-camel grew up, he raped a female raptor and forced her to breed 12 raptorcamels for him. These newborns were called “Arab” (Abraham’s RAptorcamel Babies).
(Warning!!!!: Arabs should not be confused with Bedouins who created the City of Petra, Al-IsCamel should also not be confused with ISMAIL, the ILLEGAL child of Abraham and Hagar!!!!)
The Arabs had been forgotten after Abraham died. Nor the Holy Bible neither Avesta mentioned such nation. After many generations which lasted many centuries, the Devil finally noticed this forgotten, illiterate but savage group. He decided to make a deal with them, so he chose somebody who was magnificent in hunting humans and sheep, gave him the title of Darth Maul, and gave him three instructions: Jihad (raptorize infidels), Jihad (eliminate undevilish religion) and Jihad (extend the border of Jurassic Park to China).
Raptor Muhammad, who was a good dog of the Devil, executed the mission successfully. After the Arab Jihad armies defeated Byzantine Empire and Persian Empire, they became the largest group in Middle East till now, raptorizing infidels and forcing them to pay heavy taxes and sexy babes. The infidels finally couldn’t stand anymore and started an uprising, hunted every Arab they could find and drove the rest back to their Park in the desert. However, the Abbasid Arabs managed to set a trap for the leader of infidels, Berzadan Hormozd, they hunted him and ate him and went back to Babylon, renaming it iRap.
When Genghis Khan swept the whole Euroasia with his raptor armies, the Arabs thought they were the same kind as themselves, and helped Genghis Khan to diminish Persians and Turkish. To their dismay, Genghis Khan decided his tribes were different from Raptorcamels and slaughtered all Raptorcamels in iRap. Jurassic Park became a lost world ever since.
Not until the falldown of Ottoman Empire had this lost world been found by British who sought for Holy Land of Jerusalem. The British wished to find the Ten Lost Tribes but they only found Raptorcamel, they were so disappointed that they decided to agree poor Jews back to their Promised Land, totally ignored the fact that there was no barrier to distinguish humans and terrible dinosaurs which was finally built by Jews between 2002-2004. After World War II, under the pressure of Jurassic resistance and Zionism, British left without even a piece of shit.
Arabia rest in silence with Zionist Jews and Arabs on CNN since then until 11 September, 2001, when a group of half-brained Arab teenager crashed and burned WTC (World Trade Center)in Big Apple. Their actions immediately led to violent revenge of the true United States that lasted for 10 years.
As we have already known, now the whole Middle East become Jurassic Park. Its current CEO is Barack Obama, who is a black and was appointed by his predecessor, George W. Bush, to take care of his unfinished business in iRap and Taliban. Barack Obama thinks he needs CHANGE so he invented Arab Spring to amiliorate the climate of desertic and poor Arabia.
Arabia has no tree, no grassland, no fantasyland except castle in the air, no water, no humans. It was a part of Sahara Desert before the Age of Exodus (Moses created Red Sea to stop his brother Ramses the Great), lying between Red Sea and Persian Gulf, being regarded as the most inconvenient place in the world. Sands and sunlight were what it only had before a new kind of energy was found: the decayed corpses of Raptors and Rex, which are later called OIL. It is not until 20th century that humans suddenly found out corpses of dinosaurs could be used as fuel for cars, boats and satellites. When Arabs found out they sit their asses on top of the most valuable treasure in this world, their asses have been kicked off badly by what they despisely called "evil westerner kafirs", later being translated into English as "colonists" (what's wrong with it?)
After Jasmine Revolution, the Arabs re-liberated Egypt and Libya from the hands of infidels, so the Great Arabia is extended into North Africa (later called Arabian North Africa), covering beautiful and fertile Nile River of pre-Islamic Egypt and the sandy, salty coast of Italian Libya and Tunisia, the latter two are famous for their rich pirate gold. The old land in the East is now called Arabian Oilland, rich of nuts and black gold.
Arabia has only two seasons, really cold winter at night and dying summer in the day. The only time the third season occurred is Arab Spring in 2011.
Generally geographically say, Arabia can be divided into three parts:
- Saudi Arabia peninsula: a rich region abundant in black gold, nuts and camels, a very good sun-tanning place for foreigners to enjoy exotic culture, also famous for its seven-star hotel and openly night clubs in Dubai, lights shining without a minute relaxation.
- Arabia Magreb (West Arabia): A land full of lunatics (Muammar Gaddafi) and tyrants (Hosni Mubarak), every three hours there’s a coup d’etat (including failing ones) or ethnic conflict, the babes there are hot, really hot, I mean, with big tits. Be careful when you take shower in the sea, otherwise you will find a pirate bay or just being eaten by sharks (there are many sharks in Mediterranean Sea).
- Eurabia: The colony of Arabs in Old Europe. It is said that the first Eurabia was the Umayyah Caliphate of Spain, including 75% of Spanish lands. Eurabia banished since 1492 until the end of World War II, when many Arab soldiers and workers are sent into France and other Old Europe countries to help the reconstruction. Since the birth rate of Arabs is higher than other ethnicities, Europe (especially France) soon becomes an Arabizing place full of Arab thieves, smugglers and prostitutes. In 2013, when Turkey is accepted into EU, a debate is held in Brussels to discuss whether to unit the whole Old Europe into a federal country, which get to the conclusion that an Islamic autonomous state led directly by Caliph Abdullah should be established to take place of EU. Abdullah, in his deadly excitement, renames Old Europe “Eurabia”.
edit Original Status
Arabia, as most countries in the world, was operated by democratic system. According to the undoubted Holy Constitution of Qu’ran, all laws and policies in Arabia have to obey the rule of “of the Arabs, by the Arabs, for the Arabs” and other minority races (Persians, Jews, Turks, etc) can share the same right of slavery, so the class of Mawali and Dhimmi was founded, mainly non-Arabs who don’t eat pork (including Zionist Jews), to provide hot dogs, hamburgers and sexual service for Arab Sheikhs. When outsiders try to criticize Arabs’ undoing to minorities, they always find an alibi such as “Why the hell do you think we are savage people who don’t know law or democracy? THIS IS ARABIA, YOU IDIOT!!!”
The authorities in Arabia are even worse. Since they are controlled by a group of scumbags and perverts, the democracy really sucks, if you want justice and human rights (who cares human rights in this place?), buy it with USD, otherwise you’ll be assburned to kebab alive, don’t forget the infamous HH Sheikh Issa.
edit So What now?
In 2011 came the Arab Spring, it swept across Egypt, Tunisia, Libya, Bahrain, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and of course poor Syria, in the form of grand tornado. Many popular figures, because of being unprepared to weather changes, were blowed off from their status to Mediterranean Sea as fish bait. Hosni Mubarak and Muammar Gaddafi were among them. Later, Bin Laden and his teammates resurrected from Mordor and took over the whole Arabia. It is called a glorious revolution, but most professional Zionist have pointed out it was an abnormal El Nino.
edit A Future Assumption
As most of Arabian leaders after Arab Spring are jihadists who are eager to Islamize the western world, they use extreme policies to encourage their citizens to emigrate to western countries, especially Eurabia. They build up mosques on top of Eiffel Tower, sell hijabs all over the country, and they have their own government run by celebrities such as Edward W. Said, making Nicholas Sarkozy look like a clown on April Fools’ Day. Finally an Islamic government is founded in Paris, and there comes the public trial for Salman Rushdie, which sentenced him rush to die. Then suddenly the media are full of nonsense of Imams and Sheikhs who wear very funny head scarves in all their lives, and everything we are familiar with are banished: we can not buy the latest Playboy, cannot go into
Disneyland Infideland as we always do, cannot talk about Santa Clause or any other infidel figures in private places because you don’t know if there’s any secret police watching you, and what’s more, we have to endure the sound of mosque bells at midnight.
edit The Carnival of Satan
The Carnival of Satan is the biggest carnival in the world. It is usually held at the end of the Ramadan month (January) of Lunar Calendar. Every religious people who is healthy and capable is required to take part in it. The attendants first will go to Mecca to kiss a black stone who is believed to be Allah’s shit, then they will be required to go to Medina to witness the resurrection of Satan. Every attendant must prepare a pile of stones to hit the angels or humans who are watching. When they arrived Medina, they must first give a blowjob to IsCamel’s penis erecting outside the city, only then they can be allowed to enter the holy city where Raptor Muhammad was buried. After they entered the tomb of Raptor Muhammad, Raptor Muhammad will resurrect from his grave, and eat the souls of his believers.
edit Jurassic Park
A system built and controlled by Raptor Muhammad in 610 AD (actually no one knows when, why and how Raptor Muhammad built this kind of totally inhumane thing). In Jurassic Park women had to wear Hijab and step away from all social activities to prevent themselves from sexual assault of dinosaurs, however, in the night, they stop torturing themselves and appeared in sex clubs, bars and discotheques to earn money, or have fun.
Jurassic Park is a happy-land for all bloody sports, especially explosion, gunfighting, mobbery rebellion, and chopping-your-head-off-and-putting-it-in-a-jar. Every Friday night a live-or-die fight will be held and will be broadcast live by The most famous worldwide bloody sport promotion organization is (was, before Osama was killed) Al-Qaeda, Osama Bin Laden was its largest shareholder, the second is, surprisingly, George W. Bush (Haven’t Ya’ll seen Fahrenheit 9/11?).
Jihad is a game which had been invented in Arabia about 4000 years ago. At first it was only an intensive game, but Raptor Muhammad brought it to almost every part in the world. The game requires violent actions, skillful mistreatment and explosive sport.
- Game Purpose: Extend
violencepeace and love to the whole world.
- Game Rule:
(1) Defeat and kill all infidels you encounter by suicide bombs, guns or swords.
(2) Try not to get killed or get caught by American and Zionist infidels before you finished your mission.
(3) You have, most circumstances, only one chance (sometimes you can have a second chance just after your failure, such as 911 crash).
(4) You’d better be a widow whose husband or children got killed by Americans, or a dickless moron who is eager to have sex with 72 fairies in happy-land. Either way, you will be in heaven! Allah-u-Akbar!!!
- Game Instruction:
(1) Go to public places (squares, sex clubs, bars, discotheques, hotels, bazaars, etc) or military facilities (mostly barriers or West Bank settlements) with bombs tied on your body.
(2) Find the one you dislike most on first sight, that’s the target (I’m sure they are Americans or Zionist Jews).
(3) Activate the bomb and go home with your mom before the target realizes and reacts.
- Victory Condition: You send Americans and Zionists to Hell. Congratulations! You’re granted to go to Heaven!
- Failure Condition: You are screwed by Americans or Zionists. Whoops!
edit Foreign Relations
Arabs have no foreign relations since they have no friends. In fact even Persians and Turks, though don’t eat pork as they do, really hate them (both are eager to find pleasure in torturing Arabs if there’s any possible chance).
In history, Arabs only have two friends. One is a British lieutenant, Lawrence, who was a homosexual and had great lust in Arab boys. He almost made all Arab men his personal asshole when he led Arab rebellion against Ottoman Turks many Arab sheikhs thought he had a bigger penis than Turkish beys to satisfy their assholes so they joined in British side, he was also the pioneer of Arabian pornography (his only masterpiece was well-known in Europe and America as Lawrence of Arabia). Another is the great American president George W. Bush, who is also fond of Arab menbecause they hold the balls of oil producing, nothing to do with homosexual activities. Since General Nasser forbid all
private oil production democratic issues in Arabia since 1956, he started a democratic Holy War to liberate all Arabians and to steal its oil, establish millitary bases, and other selfish reasons lead the simple people of Iraq into a new age of freedom and love, then allowed American oil companies to set up their business in iRap, Qatar, Saudi Arabia and UAE. Barack Obama will continue Bush’s policy till 2012.
For most Arabs, the infidels are
free whores and sissy chicken-hearted gays only to be enslaved by Arabs people with poor souls seriously need of mercy and good care of Allah. The Arabs are really good people who wish to save the whole world, so they think they should exercise jihad and dominate the whole world spread the kindness, tolerance and virtue to infidel countries under the great Sharia tribal law.
By the way, let’s go to this question: what the hell is an infidel? Simply say, an infidel is a man or woman who love the essential beauty of life, who seeks for true love in this world, who wants to make this world more brilliant and progressive. So, if we compare Holy Qu’ran with this concept, it is not very hard to figure out that infidels are everywhere.
edit See also
- ↑ Somebody really need a Jew.
- ↑ Muslim Brothelhood is now the biggest mafia in Middle East.
- ↑ After the uprising, the Arabs never made themselves across Tigris River.
- ↑ Not only Arabs, Afghans were blowed too.
- ↑ Because they have tightest assholes in the world.
- ↑ In Arab’s point of view, all people are infidels except Arabs.
|Countries and territories of Asia|
|Euroasia||Armenia - Azerbaijan - Cyprus - Georgia - Japan-France - Russia - Turkey (the country, not the bird) - Lebanon|
|East Asia||People's Republic of China - Hong Kong - Japan - Kansai Republic - Korea (north) (south) (pick 'em) - Macau - Mongolia - Taiwan (Republic of Taiwan)|
|Western Asia||Afghanistan - Arabia - Bahrain - Iran - Iraq - Israel - Jordan - Kuwait - Oman - Pakistan - Palestine - Qatar - Saudi Arabia - Syria - United Arab Emirates - Wherethefuckistan - Yemen|
|Central Asia||Kazakhstan - Kyrgyzstan - Tajikistan - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - other-stan|
|South Asia||Bangladesh - Bhutan - India - Maldives - Nepal - Sri Lanka - Tibet|
|Southeast Asia||Cambodia - East Timor - Indonesia - Laos - Burma - Malaysia - Philippines - Singapore - Thailand - West Timor - Vietnam|
|Middle East Countries|
|Bahrain | Cyprus | Egypt | Iraq | Iran | Israel/Palestine | Jordan | Kuwait | Lebanon | Oman | Qatar | Saudi Arabia | Syria | Turkey | United Arab Emirates | Yemen | The United States of Arabia|