User:DJ Mixerr/Willie Nelson
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Willie Nelson, aka Nellie Wilson, aka The Red-Headed/Gingered Hillbilly who have no soul, Member, aka. "Wet Willie" Nelson, aka Willie "Large Scrotum" Nelson (not to be confused with P.I. Kinky "Big Dick" Friedman} was a famous 19th century cowboy, bank robber, and preacher who successfully parlayed his experiences into a country music career in the 1950s, then remade himself as a hippie in the 1960s, a porn star in the 1970s, a rock star career in the 1980s, a hippie in the 1990s, and an outlaw, again, in the 2000s. He is currently wanted for drug and murder charges, and his whereabouts is unknown. He is a Native Amarican too.
edit Life Story
Born in 1933 BC he soon became famous for being the only man on the street with a donkey. When he was 420 years old, he sat in the same chair for exactly 30 years until Christmas Day 1028, he picked up a xylophone and made the funniest song ever written. This song was so funny that nobody laughed at it, which meant that nobody thought it was funny, which created a universal paradox in the space time continuum flarx/fabric. This caused much anger throughout the world, and every living human, animal and robot got together and conspired to kill Willie. The conspirators then told Willie that he could be one of the Three Wise Outlaws during Christmas, along with Waylon Jennings and David Allan Coe and then planned to lure him into a trap. Unfortunately, because everybody in the whole of existence was in on it, everyone forgot to leave a trap, expecting someone else to do it. Having failed the first plan, they sent an e-mail to the 3001 year old man, and this upset him. He was so upset, he died of grief.
He later came back to life to annoy the IRS and to create a robot that could make weird noises. The robot, named Trey Williams, was later abandoned due to the incessant production of the sound called the S.S.S. He regrets the abandonment entirely, never predicting the Shawn Taylor would become one of the most influential American symbols.
After his resurrection and creation of the Shawn Taylor, upon realizing that their citizens pay no income tax, his joy was complete.
Nelson is a member of The Red-headed League, a secret organization of male country stars and hippies.
edit Music Career
Willie Nelson has made 412,000 albums. He currently holds the world record for most albums made in an hour - 59,000,000.
- The first one (3107 BC)
- Willie Nelson Returns (3106 BC)
- The mildly more rock-based one (3105 BC)
- Willie Nelson IV Life(The Controversial one) (3104 BC)
- The last one for a few years (3103 BC)
- He's Back (1714)
- Oh Christ another one (1766)
- The one featuring a drum (1785)
- Willie Nelson by Numbers (1800)
- Willie Nelson Sells Out (Half the field) (1803)
- The long-awaited second return of Nillie Welson (1940)
- The biggest selling one (7 mil copies sold to dated) (1945)
- On The Road Again (1970)
- Life (1971)
- The long road out of Willie(1978)
- Greatest Hits(1982)
- On My Mind (1983)
- Willie`s midlife(1985)
- Willie said What(a collection of interviews). (1987)
- If you have it wilie wants it(1988)
- Some people said he retired, but he's back. (1998)
- Guess who`s back (December 1999)
- Experimentation with Electricity....(2000)
- Back On The Road (one version w/ Lil Black) (2000)
- On The Road Again (one version w/ Lil Black) (2001)
- That Reggae album (only one) (2005)
- Always (2009)