User:DJ Mixerr/Top 100 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
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There are many things that singer Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do. Here are the top 100:
edit 100 - 91
100. Wear a leather corset
99. Wear makeup.
98. Wear tight pants.
97. Join the marines.
96. Join the army.
95. Join the navy.
94. Join the FBI.
93. Join the CIA.
92. Be gay.
91. Be an asshole!
90. Be a faggot. (Wait? Did I already say that?)
89. Be a fag.
88. Be a douchebag. (Wait? Did I already say that?)
87. Be a douche.
86. Be a dick.
85. Spontaneously combust when in the presence of the King.
84. Spontaneously combust when in the presence of the Queen.
83. Suddenly bellow, "I'm Brian Blessed!" in the middle of a funeral.
82. Get piles.
81. Give a reacharound to an Austrian Yak.
79. Buy pornography.
78. Make out with someone other than your mother.
77. Make out with your mom.
76. Eat nothing but Cheesy Wotsits.
75. Watch 'Delta Force' 167 times.
74. Come back as a zombie.
73. Spontaneously combust when in the presence of someone famous.
72. Play 'Second Life
71. Become the lead singer of Limp Bizkit.
69. Sixty Nine. (69)
68. Dress up in a Maid's outfit and dance the Macerena.
67. Jump up and down screeching like a madman on acid about how he's the rular of the planet Bumcheese and that we should all be his fearful minions.
66. Spray acid from his mouth when frightened or agitated.
65. Read Harry Potter.
64. Star in a commercial for dog food.
63. Light his own farts.
62. Prematurely ejaculate whenever the word, "Spangles" is uttered.
61. Perform a self-prostate examination.
57. Move to Canada.
56. Let the door hit your ass on the way out.
55. Let your ass hit the door on your way out.
54. Shoot compressed air up his backside.
53. Shoot dope into his scrotum.
52. Vote for John McCain.
50. Eat anything from McDonalds.
48. Get some sick.
47. Get Swine Flu.
45. Kill his dog while doing the Cha-Cha.
44. Make out with your brother.
43. Slip marijuana into the brownie mixture that's intended for the Scout bakesale.
42. Stub his cigarette out on your forehead.
41. Go from 0 to 60 in 6.4 seconds.
40. Have a full frontal lobotomy so that he thinks like Nigel Parsons.
39. Watch the movie, 'Johnny Quest'.
38. Get those really stubborn stains out.
36. Email all of his personal information and bank details to a Nigerian Prince offering $120,000,000.
35. Become a kitten huffer.
34. Be an interesting appetiser before the main course.
33. Be an interesting fashion accessory that you can wear on a date.
32. Be digitally ready.
31. Be a little bitch.
30. Hum really loud during a funeral service.
29. Blame it on the boogie.
27. Fart really loud.
26. Touch himself, even when going for a piss.
25. Wipe his dobber on the curtains after sex.
23. Develop an unhealthy interest in penis extensions and Austin Powers.
21. Perform self fellatio.
19. Break down and require a van and four men to get him out of the house.
18. Put out another album.
17. Watch Big Brother.
16. Be Rickrolled.
15. Rickroll you.
14. Impersonate Glen Quagmire. (Giggity giggity goo! OH!)
13. Impersonate a monkey.
12. Sell nude photos of you to Hustler.
10. Give you up.
9. Let you down.
8. Run around and desert you.
7. Make you cry.
6. Say goodbye.
5. Tell a lie and hurt you.
3. Be mistaken either for the boy next door or for the "mature, moody performer" he adopted as his new persona around 1990.
1. Get that God-damned song out of his head, now that this article has reminded him of it. Nor will you, dear reader.