User:DJ Mixerr/Johnny Potsmoker
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Johnny Potsmoker (full name Johnathan D. Potsmoker) (b. 1945 AD) is the greatest scientific, political, and cultural genious of our time. He could possibly the most intelligent person ever born, although no one is actually sure. He is most famous for his attempts at receiving credit for his actions which have given him a strong reputation as a comedian. Many advancements in the fields of Medicine and Quantum Mechanics are contributed to
him other people. Including the first cloned animal, the vaccine, the Theory of Evolution, string theory, and the theory of relativity.
There is some dispute as to whether or not Johnny Potsmoker is a real person. Although if he is real, we have an article on him here.
Johnny grew up in Dover, Delaware. He got his first pair of knickerboxers when he was 13. (This relates to the story, you'd better believe it!) He was greatly inspired to become the bestest person in the world. The next day, he said goodbye to his senile mother and his hung-over father and set off on a journey west to work on a citrus farm.
What we think we know about Johnny Potsmoker
- He is a 45 year old virgin who still lives with his parents. (He live in an abandoned hut.)
- He should have been the republican candidate for president for Delaware in the 2000 election, but due to a typographical error, George Bush was nominated instead.
- He was born on Last Tuesday.
- He is also the 2nd cousin of Oprah, but he regrets this family connection.
- He was killed in a car accident in 1992.
- He was resurrected in 1993, yet no one has any clue how.
What we don't know about Johnny Potsmoker
- The Golden Gate Bridge was originally named the Johnny Potsmoker bridge.
- He was arrested in Florida for having sexual relations with a porcupine.
- He hibernates through the entire winter and wakes up on April 20th every year, no earlier, no later.
- Dr. Phil got all his ideas from him, but never gave him the credit.
- He is the creator of the iPod, but never got credit for that either.
- We lied about the porcupine bit. It was actually Oscar Wilde.
- He also had a problem in New York involving a gay stripper, a clown, a donkey, and a vacuum cleaner.