User:DJ Mixerr/Human wrongs

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“ Who needs Human Wrongs when you have the ganja!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Human Wrongs

“I just wish there would be more of them”
~ Satan on Human Wrongs

Human wrongs are the items to which every human being is entitled in virtue of the fact that he belongs to the human race. They are called wrongs, for the simple fact that should everyone actually get these wrongs, a state of peace would ensue that would put the world at peace, and the military out of business, which the powers that be want to avoid at all costs.

edit History of Human Wrongs

In 666 B.C., the great Taoist thinker, Aristotle, first came up with the concept of living the perfect life, the life of Beatitude. He reasoned that everyone could, and indeed must, be at peace and enjoy certain conditions before ultimate happiness was achieved. Unfortunately, the emperor Nero, found out, and had Brute and Wilkes Booth fill Aristotle full of lead. However, the secret was out, and so Nero, being the cunning bastard he was, published the list of conditions for happiness as “human wrongs.” The name has stuck ever since.

edit Modern Day Human Wrongs

While the original list was some 4 items long, it has since been added to and abridged until its present state. Among some of the more notable items are:

Wrong to the Good Life, yo
Wrong past Main St., then 2 blocks down on the left
Wrong to Private Parts
Wrong to Use Abusive Language
Wrong to Worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Wrong to Pr0n
Wrong to stay up as late as the other kids in my grade
Wrong to vote on the next American Idol
Wrong to vote on the next clown
Wrong to bear children
Wrong to shut the hell up

Once these Wrongs are made Rights, all humanity will reach a state of Nickelback

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