User:DJ Mixerr/Estelle Getty

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Estelle Getty will forever be known as the "Quaint but Perverted One" from the hit anti-ageist docu-drama The Golden Girls. But behind the scenes her friends , associates and anyone who has encountered her will testify she is more akin to Richard "The Nigh Stalker" Ramirez, John Wayne Gacy or Ron "The Hedgehog" Jeremy than her near-senile, loving but stern alter-ego Sophia Petrillo. (1924-2008) Estelle Getty in Sicily, Italy, in 1924 from an Orthodox Jewish family. Her sad death was 2008 in was something completely different in Italy.


edit This Crack Is Moreish!

Newestelle

"She was always apologising, as she burned me with cigarettes, sodomized me with objects, cut me with broken glass... "Im So Sorry, Im So Sorry...", I can still hear her weeping and apologizing, always apologizing" - Anon

When she was born in Italy of Sicily to the Mob she learned her first lessons in the "Family Ways" by shooting a man in cold blood for disrespecting the colour red , as it is one of the colours on the Italian flag - therefore 1/3rd insulting Italy and all Italians....and Sicilians...Or something...

She stared in many regional re-enactments of such enjoyable rom-com's as "Girls Gone Wild - Rwanda" and "It’s a Wonderful Wonderful Pipe"

She moved to the US when it was still black and white, and began a fiscally provident career in TV shows.

However, she is best known for her role as Sophia Petrillo on the popular 1980s anti-ageist docu-drama, The Golden Girls. In it, she played the violent and foul-witted old Sicilian mother of Dorothy Zbornak, played by Bea Arthur who was the show's main protagonist and foil to Baby Dinosaurs many crazy antics Her famous and oft-repeated quote "I'm the Baby!" is still fondly remembered today.

Getty was actually one year and two months younger than Bea Arthur but due to a steady diet of crack, reverse-foetal-grindings and olde-time Stregoia (Black-magics involving killing of chickens and made-up words that sound "all woggy") she was able to look significantly older.

She was married to Mega Jesse Owens during a crack fuelled jaunt to Las Vegas in the late 1930's. This was after Bea Arthur had beaten him mercilessly during the Nazi Olympics - something that would cause future conflict during the "Golden Girls" years. They lived on "the lam" from both the Law, the Nazis, The Commies and the Jewish Cabaret during the later parts of this century, until Mega Jesse's death in 2098 when Getty began growing clones of herself to accept bullets and other kill-techniques directed at her by various unkind folk.

Jesse was deformed to death in an unfortunate "cloning accident" where he ended up looking like one of those freaky messed up Ripley’s in Alien 3 (or was it 4?) and Getty was forced to dish out a bit of "Old Yella Treatment" on his ass.

Estelle

Estelle Getty - Gun Happy


It is around this time that young women in Estelle’s neighbourhood began to go missing!


During a brief spell after The Golden Girls, but before fully committing to a life of crime, she produced and marketed a form of contraception known as "Love Bands”. Consisting of a constrictive rubber ring that ultimately lead to lack of blood circulation and the necrotic death of the male genital, this was ultimately unpopular in western countries but purchased en-mass by staunch Islamic states for torture and Sharia justice.


In the early days of LSD ("the Goyim Destroyer") hysteria, Estelle opened her legs to Rock Hudson, who was in the final stages of LSD and near death. With Rocks rock-hard aba-dabas and his gay "Party Squad" friends no longer to care for him Estelle had Rock flown into the suns hot hot core. An extensive and truthful account of her act of charity was published in STAR Magazine.


Slayer wrote the song Dead Skin Mask, from the 1990 album Season in the Abyss as a tribute to Estelle Getty.

Graze the skin with my finger tips
The brush of dead warm flesh pacifies the means
Incised members ornaments on my being
Adulating the skin before me


Getty has grown two sons from scratch: Jimmy "The Misogynist" Favell, who lives in Sicily Town, New York, and Barry "The Very Violent Gentleman" Patrizzo who lives in Deathland, Florida.

edit Did Someone Say MUSIC?!!

In July 1984 Getty released the Glam Folk album Zen Arcade onto the unsuspecting public.

Originally released as a double album on two vinyl LPs, Zen Arcade is a concept album about an old lady who runs away because her Strata-title aged-care villa life is unfulfilling, only to find the world outside is even worse. The album incorporates elements of jazz, psychedelia, acoustic folk, pop, and piano interludes, concepts previously unheard-of in the world of Glam Folk music.

In an interview with Steve Albini for his matter column in 1983, Getty told Albini: "We're going to try to do something bigger than anything like Rock and Roll and the whole puny touring band idea. I don't know what it's going to be, we have to work that out, but it's going to go beyond the whole idea of Glam Folk or whatever."

By spring of 1985 Zen Arcade had sold 20,000 copies, and in subsequent years it has maintained a high critical status regardless of commercial success.

She would later abandon the Glam Folk aesthetic entirely in favor melodic, guitar-driven metal that would come to define the Gothenbourg sound.

edit Yei Ar Mario Disease

Pioneer

Estelle Getty as SDF-3, yesterday

In 1993 Getty went on a mission to save POW's caught by the Viet Cong.

During a showdown with the leader, where she transformed into the SDF-3, they performed the "Get the Gem hidden in the hollowed log filled with poisonous Lizard-Frogs”, it is thought that this was the point she caught Mario Disease

In 1990 Estelle was diagnosed with Mario Disease and was found to have one specific strain, she was turning into a violent form of WMD - Goomba.

The Transformation was never successful for either evil side - Herself or the Goomba effect. Her two evil sides competing for dominion over her physical form managed to create perfect symbiosis in her body and Goomba Getty was formed , she was Irrepressible!

It was at this time she was initiated into the Axis of Evil Doers

Ever since she has lived a secluded life running her many "operations" from a basement under her Skull-shaped fortress on Hell Island.


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