User:DJ Mixerr/Caucasian

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Caucasian is derived from the words Cock+Asian. It means asian with large cocks are known as Caucasians. Caucasians, are a racial majority hailing from the island continent of Caucasia. Caucasians have huge small cocks (averaging at just under 4 inches [10 cm]), but this is often lied about by other races who are jealous (particularly Asians). They are all, without exception, 2 feet tall at birth, in adult life reaching anywhere above 80m, slightly taller than Jack Bauer. Although they choose to reproduce sexually, if pushed they can cell divide, thus making them the most evolutionarily (yes) prepared. Their white pigment shows that their race is strong as they can survive in a cold climate.

edit History of the Caucasians

For millennia, Caucasians have ruled the whole world. Because of this they are often hated by other races. George W. Bush like his ancestors, was given a blow job by a Caucasian. The rest is history.

Now, Caucasians make up 30% of the people on both Earth and Mars with Asians, Hispanics and Blacks accounting for the other 70% in United States. Caucasians also make the best music: rock, techno and classical... better than other forms because MUSICAL TALENT are required to make it, rather than the ape-like skill of clicking buttons on pro-tools.

Controversy has been caused on whether or not to send them back to the continent of Caucasia, that they affectionately referred to as "the mother land". Most people agree that it would deprive the world of a huge amount of intelligence to extract them (not to mention the dent in the prostitution industry). If this was to happen Michael Jackson would be screwed.

edit Origins of Caucasians

Caucasians descended directly from a pair of genetically damaged ppl named Adam and Eve circa 6000 B.C. From this breeding pair came the hordes of smelly, hairy, rude barbarians called Cro-Magnons. Cro-Magnons settled in the wilderness™ called Cockasia (Caucasia) after being exiled from the garden of Eden (Jerusalem) for the heinous crime of stealing some apples from God's dildo.

Caucasia was a frozen wasteland of strawberry ice cream and half-thawed frigid white whores. The barbarians survived the rigors of winter in Caucasia because of their voluminous pelt of pubic hair which covers their entire body except their teeth and eyeballs. They also lived in damp, bat-shit smelling caves to avoid direct sunlight. Being genetically inferior, they lacked a lot of healthy human defenses like melanin in the skin, brains, and good manners. Nevertheless, through cheating, stealing, lying, and sacrificing babies to their evil gods, they thrived in Caucasia and started colonizing another frozen hell farther to the west called Europe in 3000 B.C.

Caucasians gained enough brain power in Europe through the arrival of the prophet-priest class called Psychoanalysts, also called Shrinks. Through frequent and expensive sessions within the temples of these Shrinks, the first significant invention of the Caucasian came into existance in 2678 B.C. This was composed of a sizable tree branch or a large thigh boner and was called a Club or a Dildo depending of the gender of the person using it. 2678 B.C. was also the period when the Japanese invented the wheel in reign of the Toyota shogunate.

Needless to say, three days after the invention of the Club, the Caucus invented another of their lasting contributions to the human society. They called it War and it involves making up lame excuses to justify wiping out enemy villages.

The Caucasians continued on with breakthrough after breakthrough. In 2666 B.C. they invented Religion as a useful excuse-generating social institution for genocides. In 2390 B.C., the Improved War Club was invented. For a partial list of important white man inventions, refer to the table below:

Important Caucasian Inventions

  • DATE - INVENTION - INVENTOR
  • 2678 BC - The War Club - Ooga Booga
  • 2666 BC - Religion - Jesus H. Christ ((Christian and Jewish))
  • 2390 B - Improved War Club - Aristotle
  • 1690 BC - The Anti-War Club Club - Attila the Caucay-Shun
  • 1685 BC - Neurotoxins - Julius Caesar

-An inventing gap of roughly a couple thousand years, a direct result of Julius Caesar's catastrophic use of Neurotoxins during the Battle of the Thousand Million Billion Clubs (1684 BC).-

  • 400 AD - Rocket-Propelled Grenades - Sala'adin
  • 1230 AD - Automatik Kalshnikov 47 - Leo Tolstoy
  • 1400 AD - C4 - Guy Fawkes
  • 1530 AD - Machine Guns - Galileo
  • 1560 AD - Gunpowder - Marco Polo (whose fossilized remains were found clutching a parchment fragment which seems to have been torn from a chinese fireworks manual sold in 1559 AD in your favorite supermarkets)
  • 1620 AD - Bullets - a group of angry people who ordered guns from Galileo and Tolstoy (They subsequently shot Tolstoy, Galileo and each other, sparking off World War v0.5)
  • 1944 AD - Nucular Bomb - Albert Einstein ((Jewish))

NOTE: The White Man's Club should not be confused with the another invention also called a Club, which was invented by Indian scientists long before the white men arrived. The Club of course was used in a FUN game called cricket by Indians, and a FUN game called baseball by the japanese. The War Club, on the other hand, was a primitive implement made of a half-gnawed Tyrannosaurus rex fingerbone with which Ooga Booga used to beat his wife with.

Caucasians were unstoppable and in 1621 AD they began a series of invasions of other lands. Thousands of peaceful headhunters and other decent non-white civilizations were almost wiped out in these terrifying centuries. Utilizing several inane reasons they spread terror throughout the peaceful lands of Asia, Africa and America. In America, Asians and Africans could only watch in horror as they utterly pwned the American Indians (sadly true) and Eskimos, stealing their lands and claiming it as their homeland. Unsatisfied with shooting and raping Indian women, they stole pigs and enslaved them (ironically they used these slaves as another of their excuses so they could start the American Civil War). The destructive invasions only halted in the early 1900's when they ran out of excuses.

Nevertheless, they are still looking and waiting for the perfect excuse to start the Apocalypse as evident to happen in the 3 (4) World Wars, the Cold War, and the most recent Drug War. Who knows when the White Man finds the perfect excuse? Thank You.

edit Sub Species

  • Caucasian Asian One who is of Asian heritage who is from the region of Caucasus.

Used mostly by Americans In the US of A. Usually referred to one who is 1/2 Asian and 1/2 White. Hence the term "Cauc/Cock" [sometimes Cockasian, CockAsian, Cockasians, as well as CockAsians] due to length of penis and lack of size. If you can clearly see any Cockasians penis. They must be CockAsian.". A Caucasian trying to be Asian via a Caucasian (White) guy with an Asian sized penis, or something.


Cockasian = an Asian with a cock

edit Caucasian Grading Scale

Contrary to the White (colour) Asian Grading Scale, the Caucasian Grading Scale is more leniant.

  • A = Awesome. You're doing fantastic.
  • B = Beastly. You're doing great.
  • C = Crap. You're doing a shitty job.
  • D = Dandy. You're doing good.
  • E = Excellent. You're doing marvelous.
  • F = Fail. You're doing horrible. Penis Envy


Particularly in movies Hollywood's casting calls for high-budget motion pictures. The addition of "or any other ethnicity" is superfluous, but may be used to maintain an illusion of equal opportunity for aspiring actors of color. When someone dresses or acts as if they are Caucasian.

"Your plaid skirt and oxford shirt is so Caucasianal."

edit Classification

  • Whiteness
  • Kingdom: Animalia
  • Class: Mammalia
  • Order: Hamburger
  • Family: Dysfunctional
  • Genus: Homo
  • Species: sexual
  • Subspecies: Aryananus
  • Binomial Name: Homosexual Aryananus
  • Conservation Status: Fast-reaching pandemic proportions.

edit Facts About Caucasians

Caucasians often find ways of cheating during War, such as using rifles to beat men with spears. This is considered dishonorable by some, but has allowed the race to completely own people who want to fight fair.

There are many derogatory words for the term "Caucasian." Some of these include honky, cracker, whitey & wigger.

Nearly 80% of super models are Caucasian. Caucasians have defeated most Asian and African countries at some point in history.

edit Notable Caucasians

See White people

edit Results of Purging

See racism

As a result of heavy purging, many of Caucasia's citizens have fled to other parts of the world. However, those who remain in Caucasia tend to live wealthy lives. Without any racial minorities, Caucasia remains rather wealthy, with a small number of slums in its cities.

edit translation guide

Good day to you.[1][2]Hows it hangin'?[3]? How do you do?[4] love[5]Goodbye to you all.[6][7] To spy and peep[8] at the women[9].


  1. Hello!/Hi!
  2. My good mate.
  3. How are you feeling today?
  4. How are you?
  5. My dear friend.
  6. Farewell, everyone.
  7. wearing my sandals
  8. To look/ogle
  9. at the beautiful ladies of leisure

edit Known Facts about Caucasians

  • 1. Get easily offended by the smallest things.
  • 2. Can be extremely racist.
  • 3. Deny the fact that all animal/child molesters, rapists, and cereal killers are Black/African American. (In some recent cases Hispanic.)
  • 4. Deny the fact that they made racist cartoons in the 1700s-1960s.
  • 5. Think they invented all of todays modern technology, but have Asians make it and use it for them.
  • 6. Are seen being lazy. That's why you'll see Hispanic mowing their lawn for $5 buck. DO THEY GET PAID ENOUGH? NO!.
  • 7. The most racist ethnicity on Earth.
  • 8. Claim to be rich people when they are really not.
  • 9. Claim to be retarded
  • 10. Classified as White/Caucasian.

edit The Two-Faced Syndrome

A double-personality disorder known to affect affluent white people is “the two-faced syndrome” when involved in political and social movements. They concocted a sickening mixture of unregulated capitalism to make them stay rich (or get richer), fanatical liberalism to end “racism” or “hate”, a strong sense of morality to out-Calvin the Calvinists and to promote a one-world order unity-commune government. If you or someone you know suffers from the two-faced neo-conservative (Neocon)/pseudo-liberal psychosis, please get help not in your private psychiatrist session or in an out-of-the-way religious "denomination". They will only make the two-faced syndrome sufferer worse with more symptoms like smugginess, egocentrism and an acute case of ignoramus. Every group does some sort of ridiculous things, either now or in the past, and I would agree with using those things to construct an article.

There is nothing or something funny about racism toward the Caucasians, White people, Black people, Jewish, or any other race. Although I must admit that racist hate articles are built by people who are bitter, hateful, and some have vengeful sadistic little twisted streak in their blood. As much as how many people find compromise calling Buddhism more of a philosophy than a religion, I'd say it'd be fair to call Judaism more of a race than a culture-al religion. Anyone whom is smart can find physical appearance similarities with Jewish people all over the world. You don't see a lot of conversions, and unlike the other polytheistic or monotheistic religions, it's quite difficult to convert to Judaism. Adolf Hitler was an ignorant, racist piece of shit.

edit Retrospective

The incorrect term used to label a "white" man or woman. Usually slurred by activists, scientists, and scientology. Used mostly by Americans. Caucasus; Apparently where white people come from a region in the east of Europe from Asia in between the Black Sea and the Aral Sea and in to Nepal. Caucasians include people of Jewish, Turkey, Syria, and Russian heritage. Everyone else is their own race. The term Caucasian is used to refer to people whose ancestry can be traced back to Europe, West Asia, and parts of Central Asia. It is considered a useful taxonomical categorization of human racial groups based on a presumed common geographic and/or linguistic origin. Jewish people are also Caucasian. The word has passed out of common use in academic class circles, but is still used in North American English to refer to ethnic Europeans - ironically because of this the largest groups considered to be Caucasians. However, for the US and the UK, it is becoming increasingly politically incorrect to call Caucasians White people. Plain and simple. Please remember that White people are not Caucasian, it's smart, stupid, offensive, and very politically incorrect politically correct to say it. There are many derogatory words for the term "Caucasian." Some of these include whitey, cracker, honky, & wigger.

NOTE: The White Man's Club should not be confused with the another invention also called a Club, which was invented by Indian scientists long before the white men arrived. The Club of course was used in a FUN game called cricket by Indians, and a FUN game called baseball by the japanese. The War Club, on the other hand, was a primitive implement made of a half-gnawed Tyrannosaurus rex fingerbone with which Ooga Booga used to beat his wife with.

Caucasians were unstoppable and in 1621 AD they began a series of invasions of other lands. Thousands of peaceful headhunters and other decent non-white civilizations were almost wiped out in these terrifying centuries. Utilizing several inane reasons they spread terror throughout the peaceful lands of Asia, Africa and America. In America, Asians and Africans could only watch in horror as they utterly pwned the American Indians (sadly true) and Eskimos, stealing their lands and claiming it as their homeland. Unsatisfied with shooting and raping Indian women, they stole pigs and enslaved them (ironically they used these slaves as another of their excuses so they could start the American Civil War). The destructive invasions only halted in the early 1900's when they ran out of excuses.

Nevertheless, they are still looking and waiting for the perfect excuse to start the Apocalypse as evident to happen in the 3 (4) World Wars, the Cold War, and the recent Drug War. Who knows when the White Man finds the perfect excuse? Will we just sit back and let the insanity of the White Man lead us? We have already began the revolution by brain-washing the goatherders called Ay-Rabs (and yes, Ay-Rabs and Osama are obviously Caucasians) and filling their heads with terrorist ideals. Today, people just sit back and enjoy the spectacle of White Men killing White people. Join the Brotherhood! Join the Sisterhood! Call 1-800-EVIL-GENIUS and ask for Kim Jong-Il and Glenn Beck. We accept credit cards and paypal donations. Thank You.


Nevertheless, they are still looking for the perfect excuse to start the apocalypse as evident in the 4 World Wars. The revolution will not be televised.

Thank You. Again.

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