User:DJ Irreverent/Unscripts: Attack of the 50ft Hitler

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No idea why I kept this, I just found it hilarious in its sheer amazingnessness.


Not my work but the work of unknown genius 72.189.66.173. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent Icons-flag-au Noobaward Wotm Unbooks mousepad GUN 12:18, 30 June 2008 (UTC)



Hitler in General
Persons named Hitler
Hitlers not named Hitler
Imitation Hitlers
Could be Hitler
(due to vowel orthogonality)
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[In a Nazi moonbase far away, there lives an old nazi scientist watching "Thomas the tank engine"]


[Cut to: the TV where "Thomas the tank engine" is playing]

Henry: [the other Engines hear all about Oliver's Tale of escaping scrap] Amazing!

James: Oliver has resource.

Gordon: And sagacity.

Percy: What does that mean?

Thomas: I think it's about being clever and wise, you pitiful fool!

Gordon: He is an example to us all!

Oliver: [In shed] Ha ha HA! Now, with my lies, I will rule the railway! Mwahahaha!

[Cut to: the nazi scientist sitting on a sofa. The scientist looks down into his bag of chips]

Scientist: Hmmm...I need pringles. [He goes to a shelf where his pringles are. He reaches around, and he finds Hitler's Testicle.

Scientist: Holy Shitzen! [Cut to: His evil Labratory, where he is cloning hitler]

Scientist: Horray, Horray! I will bring the Ruler back to life! He may be so pleased, he may Even make love to me! Now, I must take a Shit! [He runs to the bathroom, leaving his machine alone. It soon goes Haywire and makes the clone of hitler 50 feet tall.

Hitler: Horray! Ich bin am Leben! Jetzt muß ich sehen, ob dieser Mann hat jede Porn Kanäle! [He goes to his Living room and flips through the channels, but he stumbles upon an episode of Happy Larry’s SS Death Squad. He quickly changes the channel and sees the cult film, El Bastard Comes to Town. The nazi scientist walks out of the bathroom]

Scientist: Wow! That poop was soft!

Hitler: Weich, SOFT!? Ich zeige Ihnen! [He soon murders the Nazi scientist] Ich bin hart! [He soon finds a V2 missile about to hit earth]

Hitler: Ich werde die Menschheit versklaven und biegen Sie in jedem Kommunisten! Ha ha ha! [The missile soon goes to EarthOnce the clone Hitler lands on earth he resurrects the ashes of and assembles an army of Nazi war criminals]

Hitler: Ha ha ha! Nun, ich werde schreiben, dass Stalin selbst, in der Hoffnung, ihre Kräfte mit ihm!

[Cut to: Russia]

Russian Gaurd: Mr. Stalin, You have a leter from..."Die Zukunft Ruller der Welt" [He hands it over to Stalin, Where Stalin snatches it out of his hands]

Stalin: Quit talking English! [Soon realizes his mistake] Oh...Damn! Ah well, lets see what he says. [He puts on some glasses and he reads aloud] "Dear Mr. Stalin. I am Hitler. I would like to joins forces with the Soviet Union to destroy capitalism and shit. Your friend, Hitler." Awww, how Cute!

Russian Gaurd: What are we to do now?

Stalin: [Looks out window, then turns back at him] Call the Airport. I'm Getting my plane.

Russian Gaurd: Where?

Stalin: At the airport.

Russian Gaurd: No, Where?

Stalin: The Fucking Airport!

Russian Gaurd: No, WHERE, are you going?

Stalin: [Looks out Window] I must Write him back and ask him where he wants me to go.

7 WEEKS LATER...

[His army marches on Washington. Hitler uses his laser vision and his fiendish moustache of communism and death to destroy all opposition. He also uses his evil communist mind powers to turn people against the beloved KKK. Meanwhile the KKK builds a gigantic robot klansman with nuclear missiles for fingers which destroys the 50 foot Hitler. His entire army is executed in the electric chair and everyone gets free doughnuts.]

THE END
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