User:DJ Irreverent/UnBooks:Once Upon a Time in the Mid-West

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I like it... with three bullets in its back cover.
~ "Angel Eyes", reviewer for the Best Western Hotel Monthly Magazine
You want my opinion on this book? You mean with the Mexican Western Enthusiasts on one side? Maybe the American Copyright Office on the other side? Me right smack in the middle? Uhn-hn. Too dangerous. I'll just... squint *squint squint*
~ Clint Eastwood, critic for the Western Themed Magazine with No Name

edit Chapter 1

There was a foul wind rolling in from the west, foul like the heart of a Texas oil barren. The sky glowed a deep, blood red. Red like the blood of a coyote. Red like the Coke bottle in a poor attempt at product placement. Rosebrook. Population; Overjoyed this was not a name befitting of such a place, something like Rosecreek would have been more appropriate.

the McDonalds employees put on their heavy duty name tag protectors

Against the global warming enhanced sky stood a solitary silhouette. It was time.

edit Chapter 2

Slit eyes McCoy they called him, though actually his eyes were pretty normal. Normal like a fox.

The legend was that he had taken down 3 deadbeat dads at once. The just-give-me-a-chance-please-I've-got-to-pay-parenting-on-3-no-4-kids kind. The hard kind. No one knew how much of this was true or just written in the fine print. No one. Never.

The locals cowered further behind their semi-owned curtains. A child of about 9 ran out to grab a toy truck left out on the driveway.

"Hey. Your father signed that down as collateral." drawled McCoy in the most monotone of voices.

The child ran back behind his play-house. Presumably to check his deed. Presumably.

McCoy smiled. A It had been tough on the trail, any lesser man would have been broken... particularly when they only had value sized smoothies at that cafe, but

"You're right on time ... to sign over your house!"

edit Chapter 3

"Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it."

"Nah we can just get one of those compression overdraft loans..."

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