User:Czar Yah/brev

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Good Page

Brevity is.

???

*...that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?

News

Different things are happening.

Today...

May 28: International Celebration of Belly Button Lint
  • A Long Time Ago - Satan was born
  • 1515 - Marco Polo discovers Belly Button Lint during his travel to China.
  • 1516 - Marco Polo returns to Italy with several tons of belly button lint.
  • 1590 - Doubts arise about the true origins of Marco Polo's belly button lint.
  • 1781 - Hip Hop is forbidden by Pope B.J. IV. The prohibition lasts until 1998; it's ending triggers the renaissance of hip hop.
  • 1854 - Pasteur discovers a method to identify belly button lint, but he is murdered by Marco Polo heirs who want to keep the Marco Polo Monopoly on Belly Button Lint.
  • 1855 - Angry Pasteur followers march to Italy seeking for revenge, ravaging the city, raving mad.
  • 1919 - The ravaging of Rome rivets to its rear rammings.
  • 1953 - Dupont synthetizes belly button lint for the first time, product sales go sky high.
  • 1979 - First Sighting of the extremely rare belly button lint & tumbleweed crossbreed is sighted by an old man in a ghost town, he falls asleep shortly after.
  • 1984 - Belly Button Lint damages space shuttle controls, leaving the ship marooned in space.
  • 1999 - Customer at the Grease Hut discovers a lump of belly button lint in his soup. He leaves extremely satisfied.
  • 2004 - Iraq acknowledges having huge amounts of belly button lint hidden in secret silos.
  • 2005 - China sues Italy for reparations for belly button lint allegedly plundered by "imperialist capitalist pig dogs" in the Middle Ages. Italian courts deny all knowledge of these so-called "Middle Ages."
  • 2005 - Transformers land on Earth, dance to Weird Al Yankovic and introduce the phrase Bah Weep Graaagnah Wheep Ni Ni Bong to Americans, and leave later that day to make way for Akira
  • 2007 - Canada officially changes name to America Junior to avoid a belly button lint war.
  • 2008 - Where's Waldo? is first published mistakenly by Martin Handford
  • Two Thousand and Twenty Six - IB Maths Students rebel, take over the world and ban the use of numbers in digit form in order to save the lives of future Students.
  • Two Thousand and Twenty Seven - IB Maths rebels are awarded Nobel Peace Prize for saving the lives of countless IB students.

Good Pic

Pontius pilot

The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you.

Image Credit: Savethemooses
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Good Writer and Noob

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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