User:Cynicus/AWD

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edit The Association For World Domiation (AWD)

edit It's too late for me!

I can't hide any more, they've already found me seven times over... Oh god I am so dead! They're planning to take over the WORLD, dont you get it!? That's where we all live people! They have already infiltrated our whole government with thier SPYS! OK... calm down, there's still hope. I can at least tell the people what is really going on. Yes, you, people... you can benifit from my death. These passed few months I have been diligantly following people, calling them at three in the morning, vandalizing property, and loitering to bring out the truth about the shadowy underworld that moves just behind the veneer of what we call reality. But what I found shook me to my very core. Secrets so terrifying that I hesitate to share them, but I know I must.

In Short, people: I Know Too Much!

edit Now You Can Know Too Much Too!

Here's what I know.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SECTIONS CONTIAON FACTS THAT COULD GET YOU KILLED, BEATEN, MAIMED, DECAPITATED, OR TICKLED. PROCEED WITH CAUTION... ACTUALLY, DON'T PRCEED AT ALL.

edit Orginizational Structure

As far as I can tell, AWD is broken into divisions named after color. Each one is run by an evil OverPerson, who controls armies of minions. All the divisions have identical departments (like R&D, Secret Police, Janitorial), but each one has it's own specialty. Here's what I was able to find out about the divisions, there may be MORE OF THEM, but I'm not sure... somehow my notes got FLUSHED DOWN THE TOILET! Coincidence!? NO!

edit Blue Division

Headed by a mad dictator called OverLord Blue. He seems to benice enough from what I found... if you consider TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD to be NICE! He runs his division somewhat looser than others, with casual fridays and take your daughter to work day. But this does not excuse his other crimes: Lying, Murder, Kittens, Erasing Important Notes, Passing on the Right and Horseplay. Blue seems to be the forerunner of Public Relations. It is OverLord Blue who runs and maintains the AWD Blog, and most information relating to the orginization is passed through Blue Division. They also have an uhealthy fixation on mind control.

edit Red Division

It's Red Division that infiltrates other orginizations that are trying to take over the world, and thus bring them down from the inside. Their leader OverLord Red is a shadow, he is the self-proclamed "night". These guys are so good at what they do, you're own LIVER might be ONE OF THEM! When was the last time you asked your liver a personal question? Did it answer correctly!? DID IT!? Clearly, their strength is espianoge, just like James Bond. So remember to keep an eye out for any new friends or relatives. They might just be a RED OPERATIVE looking to KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP! It has even been suggested (by me) that agents within Red Division have even started spying on OTHER AWD DIVISIONS! Pretty spooky stuff!

edit Green Division

Green Division is probably the one the common man has to worry about least. It's Green that does all the thinking and researching. But don't let the sentence before last lull you into a false sense of security: These guys will kill you. It may not be directly, like a guy with a knife. It'll be more like a guy in a closed control room aiming a high powered, laser guided, orbital Knife-Gun! Green Division is headed up by OverLady Green. I recenlty got a care package from her, but I've been afraid to open it, justin case I get a facefull of high-density knife-bombs...

edit Orange Division

This is the division in charge of Internal Security. It is by far the scariest. It's leader is some crazy sadist called OverLord Orange. He claims to own many stain-proof suits, and that the walls of his office are soundproof. He's really good at giving me the creeps. So much so, I'm gonna stop talking about him right now.

edit Ivory (white) Division

I dont know why this isnt just called White Division, but whatever, it's not important... maybe OverLady ivory really likes piano or something, whatever. These guys are in charge of something, i'm pretty sure, but I have no idea what it is. Since they're going to kill me (really, any second now) I suppose I'll never find out. I do know that they were involved in sending and recieving several secret codes. I havent decoded them, but maybe someone reading this will have better luck than me. Here they are...

Coded Messages:


-Six String Guitars back in Vogue, keep an eye on ice pops

-Running Ferret having Off Day, remain seated during tribulation

-Sitting on Mole Hill, mountain fourthcoming

-Reruns of past season in effect, record at leasure

-Dobbie Brothers on radio, crank that shit up!

-Rice a fine color, keep right in bowl

edit Black division

Here, right there, this guy went with just Black. Not Ebony, Schwartz, Coal, Space, or anything werid like that. Just Black, that's it, plain and simple. These guys are the main military arm for AWD. Their soldiers are highly trained for any combat situation, and are armed from Green Division's Labs. I hear rumors that OverLord Black constantly wears a suit of full plate armor. Nobody has ever seen him not wear it, or so I hear. Reguardless, I wouldn't suggest messing with them. I hear they already had some successful missions run in some unkown 3rd world countries.

edit Conclusions

Hey, just look at it! If you continue the logic of the naming scheme, there must be a Yellow and a Purple Division, maybe Indigo or something like that!? And who knows what other colors they're using: Salmon? Muave? Flesh? Pine? Plain? Jackhammer? Envy? They could have an entire division dedicated to killing YOU! Watch your back, they could be behind you RIGHT NOW!

edit Known Members (as discovered by me)

Agent Blue Tadpole

Agent Red Flan

Agent Black Eel

Agent Orange Rainbow

Agent Ivory Foundation

Agent Green Clouds

Agent Red Slipper

Agent Green Tennis

Agent Blue Whistler

Agent Black Belt

Agent Ivory Doom

Agent Red Hindenburg

Agent Blue Radish

Agent Orange Whip

Agent Ivory Flower

edit Links

Quick, here's the proof! Go there before they kill me!

Official AWD Blog













































Jeeze... when are these bastards going to kill me already?

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