User:Criselnox

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Perfect woman?
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Sexy?
Adult neon This User is too Damn Sexy!
If you saw this user it's possible that you might fall to the ground and

worship him/her, or spontaneously combust from a sex drive overload.

Adult neon NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!
The article you are looking at may not be work safe!

...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.

If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.

All edits done to this page by other users are to be reverted.


Crisel Albania-Nox (in her dreams)
Criselnox
This is how she looks like.
First appearance The Sims as soon as some poor sap nicknamed 'creator' created her.
Last appearance [1]
No. appearances 3
Created by some nerd
Portrayed by Criselnox
Profile
Nickname(s) Criselnox
Aliases Criselnox
Species homo sapiens. she has already gotten into the real world.
Age 17 (in human years) or 95 days (in sim days. Creator never allowed her to prune up into an elder by making her drink countless glass urns of elixirs of life to prolong his fapping moments)
Gender female
Date of birth July 17, 1992 (in human years). The real date when she was created as a sim character was September 3, 2008. All those life-prolonging elixirs were worth it as sims can only live for up to about 88 sim days or about 35.2 days in the real world at maximum. Just do the math. (conversions: one sim hour at the slowest speed is equal to one minute in the real world, as one sim minute is equal to one second in the real world. The formula should still be longer, but I know that Uncyclopedians have low attention spans, so instead of going through Wikipedia, they go here.)
Date of death She's shtill alive
Starsign Cancer (or Virgo. it depends.)
Occupation Uncyclopedia editor
Family Nana your business!
Spouse(s) Albel Nox (in her dreams)
Children none. why?
Relatives Scott nuthin' to do with you!
Address William mind your own business?
Religion Dew you mind?
Nationality Al Kelly you if you continue interfering with things that have nothing to do with you, she says.


Criselnox (born Crisel Thania Shannon) is a sim character whose unusual smartness got her into the real world, but unfortunately isn't smart enough to fulfill her dream to get in Star Ocean 3 to marry Albel Nox.

Criselnox sims

This is how her needs bars would look like on a typical day as a sim character and a real person. She is a knowledge aspirer. Her Wants: Meet Someone New (She's socially awkward, so she wanna make friends) Reach Cooking Level 2 (She's a terrible cook, but she wants to improve. You know, what's weird is that cooking is a skill needed in the mad scientist community. Well, it's just that after so many outlandish inventions she was involved in, those electric shocks wreaked havoc on her cooking skills.) Reach Body Level 6 (She's pretty tough, but she wanna be even tougher) Woo Hoo with Albel Nox (in her dreams. she is a sim character, and Albel Nox is from Star Ocean 3 unless someone who looks like Albel moves in to her neighborhood); Her Fears: Woo Hoo is rejected. (she says damn it coz she have been dumped by two guys) Flirt is rejected. (ditto for Woo Hoo is rejected.) Lose a skill point. (forgetting sucks.)

edit Creation

Geeeek...

probably this is her creator. He's been known to never show his face.

A 17-year old male player of the game who is a nerd created her to fap with during his spare time. Originally, her name is Crisel Thania (pronounced sa-nee-ya) Shannon. He has created her to be his perfect girlfriend as he is someone who just couldn't get a girl to take him to the prom, or even just go near a girl.

His use around his circle of friends (which at least he has) is to drive girls away from their cafeteria tables at lunch, and it always succeeds. SometimesAlways, he talks to his friends about his virtual girlfriend, and actually fapping to her. He also created himself in the game to be her spouse, but then this marriage never lived long as Crisel herself has a mind of her own. Sim Joe (his sim-self) caught her making out with some brown-haired sim dude who goes by the name of Fenrir Cencini, another guy no one cares about who is at least more good-looking than sim Joe. That also led to the downfall of her relationship with both sim Joe and Fenrir, as behind her aspiration for knowledge is also an aspiration for romance, which means she abhors commitment and wants more than one lover. Ooohhhhh! Wait, I thought she wants to marry Albel? Oh well...

edit Crisel and the Laboratory

Mychemicalromance

The music Crisel was listening to as she was making the dimensional portal.

Crisel is unusually smart, and is actually a computer virus. That means, she still works in the computer and lives her life when all sim time stops. She cannot be killed by turning off the computer, and despite her creator's nerdiness, he never knew about this. He liked the game a tad too much that he never uninstalled it from his computer.

My-chemical-romance-2

More music Crisel was listening to as she was making the dimensional portal.

She eventually topped the science career (Mad Scientist) as she allowed sim time to pass by, which is known as "virus duplication" in the real world, as the virus in her that givers her life beyond the computer being on, she distributed to everyone, except sim Joe. She told everyone not to give the virus to sim Joe.

She worked on in the research lab a dimension portal that will lead her to Elicoor II 4000 years later where Albel lives. Talk about taking video gaming to the next dimension. Well, poor creator, as he never knew that when he allowed Crisel to play the custom-made video game he worked hard on (star ocean 3 for the Sims) as he was playing the Sims 2, she instantly fell in love as soon as she saw Albel- that hot guy in a purple crop top to flaunt his well-toned abs, and his slitted skirt which shows off his beautiful thighs. Just like everyone else, she is also curious about as to whether Albel wears something under that skirt or not. So that's why she wanted to go there. She wanted to marry him even though he is 7 years older than her as of now. That's because something happened to Elicoor II about 3999 years later that disabled all aging. (But that would also mean that if Crisel makes it there, she will never age too.)

And now for the moment of truth...

She was finally done with the dimension portal, and she showed Dr. Draklor, the chief scientist there, her invention. He was amazed as he saw the purple vortex when Crisel pressed the on button in the remote control. She said that it will lead to Elicoor II 4000 years from now, which is the era where Albel lived. They tested the invention as they both went in the portal.

edit On Elicoor II, er, Earth

Check out albel's thighs

Albel: There. I held my skirt up, fool. Happy? Crisel: fap fap fap fap to Albel's flawless thighs. Poor Albel. He does not know that I disguised myself as Fayt here. *stubs her toe on the wall next to her bed* Crisel: awwww crud. Just a dream.

Well, instead of getting sent to Elicoor II, they got zapped off to present-day Earth.

“"You nitwit! This is earth, the world of the ones who control us!"”
~ Dr. Draklor on Crisel's invention not succeeding
“"Well, do you like it?"”
~ Crisel on on the invention
“"You're fired! I will start a new research lab on earth as henceforth humans shall control me no longer, and you will never be accepted for the job. And to think that you were my top worker."”
~ Dr. Draklor on Crisel's invention not working properly

A total solar eclipse happened several days later, which ruined her invention, strangely. And, a stroke of bad luck. Her creator himself is in the neighborhood where she got zapped off to, and...

“"Hey! She looks just like my virtual girlfriend Crisel! This is just too good to be true. This totally cheered me up after my day has been ruined when my beloved computer broke a while ago. Ohh... Maybe I should hit on her."”
~ Crisel's creator on Crisel herself looking like Crisel

He then tried to hit on her by talking about how much she looked like his virtual girlfriend who coincidentally shares the same name. She says that her former spouse looked like him but she slapped him, rendering his right cheek to bloody pulp, and he's pwned.

“"It's a good thing I keep all my simoleans with me all the time. I'm just hoping that they accept these as payment for every transaction."”
~ Crisel on on her new life

It's a relief that they do, and with over $500,000 in her arsenal as a former mad scientist, she had her own house built, but never did she pursue the path of science anymore after her dream that ended as a fiasco. She then changed her name to Crisel Albania-Nox, as marriage between her mane NAME and Albel's name, as she can never really marry him.

As for Crisel's creator, he's busy in his room illustrating blueprints for his new virtual girlfriend, who is now blonde.

Theboss

creator's new virtual girlfriend, whom he can really have sex with every single night as she is already tangible. Let's just hope he will succeedfail like Crisel in her dreams to marry Albel.

edit Object of Emophilia

3337005453 7eede73dcb

Whoa! Time to fap!

Matthew lushhhhhh

Fap fap fap fap fap fap... and this guy has a huge cock! Unfortunately, he is gay

Emoguyorgirl

Crisel cares not about this person's gender. S/he is hot anyway!

Black veil brides

uh, huh...

2535841Ehe

Uh-huh......

EmoSmall

that's an emu, stupid! Crisel does not have bestiality. That's just wrong.

As she is also a romance aspirer, Albel isn't the only guy she lusts after. She especially likes HOT emo dudes as soon as she stepped on earth. Oh, right. Fenrir Cencini, if you cared enough to remember him, is an emo sim. Unfortunately, of the many pictures Fenrir takes of himself, none survived after the great apocalypse known in the sim world as Computer Crashing or Uninstall the Sims. Too bad scenario number 1 happened, which is a lot worse as their god (that's the player of the game) did not will it to be that way.~ O.o

What is heaven, according to Crisel?

edit Crisel in Uncyclopedia

She never pursued science anymore, and began studying the art of comedy instead. So, instead of being in Wikipedia where the likes of her are supposed to belong, she now contributes here.

edit Crisel's Favorite Articles

No Wikipedia
This user does not have a user page at Wikipedia because he or she thinks that they take things way too seriously over there.

Personal tools
projects