Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radiotalk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)
1999 - Customer at the Grease Hut discovers a lump of belly button lint in his soup. He leaves extremely satisfied.
2004 - Iraq acknowledges having huge amounts of belly button lint hidden in secret silos.
2005 - China sues Italy for reparations for belly button lint allegedly plundered by "imperialist capitalist pig dogs" in the Middle Ages. Italian courts deny all knowledge of these so-called "Middle Ages."