User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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Welcome to Aspiepedia,

the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
31,305 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
*...that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
*...that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
  • ...that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?

News to whine about

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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...

February 7: National Don't Memorize Your Lines Day
  • 33 - Jesus memorized his lines.
  • 1756 - Oscar Wilde opens in a play for which he did not memorize his lines. He improvs the whole play, to everyone's amazement. This dialogue was the basis for Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Ernest'. It also lead the consequent discovery of cheese.
  • 1823 - ummmmm... Line!
  • 1876 - Steam locomotive forgets its lines, derails, crashes, kills hundreds. Fuckwit.
  • 1901 - Sherlock Holmes forgets his "lines".
  • 1968 - Two Runners have their gold medals taken away in the Mexico City Olympics because they had their lines memorized
  • 1975 - American troops in Vietnam forget their lines. The A team were wrongly accused of this. They promptly escaped using a combination of Bill Clintons cigars, a cabbage launcher and Mr T's pity. The rest is history.
  • 1991 - A flood takes to Norways streets.
  • 1998 - OMEs were going to declare war on the emos....but they forgot their lines.
  • 2005 - This was the day the All Mighty Muffin Lord took over Earth Beta. He conquered the previous ruler, because he had his lines memorized.
  • 2007 - All Mighty Muffin Lord forgets his lines and is killed by the Earth Beta version of Peyton Manning (who is, in this timeline, a neo-Nazi overlord).
  • 2008 - Uhh.... What was I going to say?
  • 2008 - Don't know what happened today? Well if you'd learned your lines you'd know what this was going to say. Tough shit.
  • 2011 - You read this on the main page because you forgot your lines.
  • 2012 - Cure for cancer is found, but due to fears of the Movie I Am Legend it is destroyed.

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