User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
30,969 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
*...that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
*...that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?

News to whine about

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On this day...

Ppknowing5

May 7: International Daintiness Day (pictured)

  • 1274 - In France the Second Council of Lion ends in a bloodbath. Final Score: Councillors 2, Lions 37.
  • 1776 - Pollsters in the American colonies find "zero interest" in freedom and democracy, find most content with ruthless monarchy and doughnuts.
  • 1824 - Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony debuts in Austria, performed by a mute ensemble, to a deaf audience, and orchestrated by a conductor with no arms.
  • 1877 - Oscar Wilde appears in an advertisement for Aesthetic Brand Cigars, in order to finance his first work, Vera; or, The Nihilists.
  • 1920 - The Treaty of Moscow is signed, in which Soviet Russia agrees not to invade the nation of Georgia. It is broken six months later, when Soviet forces capture Atlanta.
  • 1961 - Feminine ultra-spy Mrs. J is sent to Cairo, Egypt by the higher-ups at MI-5.
  • 1967 - Pope Paul VI designs the miniskirt for Swiss Guard's summer uniforms. FABULOUS!
  • 1968 - USA Weather: Summer of Love forecasted with a 50% chance for civil unrest.
  • 1969 - First man on moon does it in his pants the wrong way.
  • 2010 - The General Election result is realized in the UK. Suicide rates increase 10%.

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