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Latest revision as of 16:14, July 11, 2012

Welcome to Aspiepedia,

the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
31,123 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
*...that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
  • ...that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
*...that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
  • ...that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?

News to whine about

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Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...

August 5: Mysterious Woody At The Mall Day:
Anniegakufu
  • 1812 - Famed time traveller Woody Harrelson goes back in time to bring the idea of the mall to the past.
  • 1924 - The comic strip Little Orphan Annie debuts. (pictured)
  • 1940 - Joseph Stalin is caught with a woody at the mall. Later that evening, twelve million peasants are killed.
  • 1955 - Carmen Miranda dies; shares of United Fruit decline 20% in heavy trading.
  • 1962 - Film actress and sex icon Marilyn Monroe is found dead in her Los Angeles home, apparently having overdosed on sleeping pills. Teenaged males everywhere declare an International Day of No Masturbation to mourn her passing.
  • 1980 - Woody Allen appears mysteriously at Detroit strip mall, but is disappointed to find that the Big Boy doesn't offer kosher meals.
  • 1984 - Toronto Blue Jay's player Cliff Johnson gets good wood.
  • 2000 - Academy Award winning actor Sir Alec Guiness dies at the age of 86. Or at least, it is assumed he died, since all that is found is an empty robe and a lightsaber.

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