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Latest revision as of 16:14, July 11, 2012

Welcome to Aspiepedia,

the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
30,550 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
*...that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
*...that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?

News to whine about



On this day...

Romulan Thumb

April 21: Rome's Birthday (Italy) 1700 BC Emperor Palpatine kills Jamie Lynn Spears and then uses the Force to get Shmi Skywalker pregnant with Anakin.

  • 753 BC - Rome is founded by Romulus and Remus after building it in a day.
  • 754 BC - The Romulans declare an uneasy truce with the rest of the humans on Earth.
  • 949 BC - A group of Romulans unable to get dates known as the 'vool-cahns' decide to leave Earth and start their own planet.
  • 1349 - The Spanish Inquisition is not expected.
  • 1350 - A Belgian man expects the Spanish Inquisition, and is promptly beaten to death.
  • 1684 - Isaac Newton proposes the idea of "gravity". It is rejected by the non-seculars, and Newton is laughed at and beaten.
  • 1700 - Mr. T pities another fool.
  • 1792 - Tiradentes, a revolutionary who was leading a movement for Brazil's independence, is hanged and quartered in an exciting event at the Superdome.
  • 1836 - Sam Houston royally teabagged Santa Anna and his sleepy Mexicans
  • 1900 - Creamed corn is deemed just thing to spice up that Sunday dinner.
  • 1918 - French whores rejoice: "The Yanks Are Cumming" proves true and profitable.
  • 1944 - Horses in France receive the right to vote.
  • 1955 - Bob Hope decides this radio thing is old and busted. If only he knew.
  • 1966 - The Girl from Ipanema is discovered to be like a samba that, swings so cool and sways so gentle, that when she passes each one she passes goes "a-a-ah!
  • 2003 - Homosexuals finally learn to use a keyboard with two hands.
  • 2006 - April 21st decides to change its name to July 14th. July 14th does not approve and in retaliation changes its name to August 25th, and refuses to acknowledge the month of April any more - this leads to a mass surge in calendar production when everyone takes sides - April lovers stick to the original 12 month calendar, whereas July fanciers take up a new streamlined 11 month number. With pictures of kittens on it. Everything goes back to normal the next day when Mr. T pities April 21st.
  • 2008 - John Prescott admits to his bulimia being fraudulent after being caught on a 72 hour Pizza Hut binge.
  • 2009 - George Bush expects the Spanish Inquisition, and is shot by a Muslim.
  • 2010 - The Spanish Inquisition expects the Spanish Inquisition, and is promptly befuddled resulting in an impromptu tea/river dance party that leads to the very fabric of space and time ripping apart. The noitisiuqnI hsinapS meanwhile is not amused.
  • 2023 - Galactic Emperor Sthnog takes his seat as Supreme Ruler of the Milky Way.
  • 2167 - The IBO fails to send Final Exams to examinators across the world, resulting in final year IB students having to wait for another year in order to graduate from the IB.
  • 2170 - Mr. T pities yet another fool. Pudding is declared the staple food in Ethiopia. Barack Obama coins the term "Barak you like a hurricane!"

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