User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
30,665 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory?
*...that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
*...that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?

News to whine about

Obama shoots skeets.jpg


On this day...

Baphomet

August 29: International Androgynous Goat-People Observance Day

  • 328,987 BC - at 4:02pm Goats Evolve from Dolphins.
  • 240v AC- Electricity became the new fad in tribes.
  • 33 AD - St. John of Patmos has a wet dream.
  • 1189 - Ban Kulin wrote The Charter of Kulin, which was later banned.
  • 1490-something - Chet Columbus lands in Ohio.
  • 1862 - Second Battle of Bull Run. This time, Bruce Willis is brought in as lead actor in an effort to stimulate box office sales.
  • 1924 - The cheeseburger is invented in Cheeseburg, California
  • 1927 - Helen Keller is born but doesn't even notice the difference.
  • 1942 - In response to World War II, ham is invented. Winston Churchill proclaims it "One small step for man, one giant leap for breakfast".
  • 1942 - Famed restaurant the Grease Hut opens it doors for the first time, collectivly clogging arteries across the nation.
  • 1956 - In a remote corner of Canada, nothing happens.
  • 1972 - Pringles, the first tessellating potato snack, are invented in Leicester by mathematician Dr Julius Pringle in order to save storage space in his tiny kitchen.
  • 1999 - The War of 1812 is fought by several confused historians. Albert Einstein is the special guest referee. Soundtrack available from Arista. Shown worldwide on Pay-Per-View. Presented by Snickers. "Hungry? Why Wait?"
  • 2005 - The Gulf Coast experiences light rainshowers and a moderate breeze.
  • 2006 - The Antichrist comes, wearing a miniskirt.
  • 2008 - The individual presumed to be The Antichrist was in fact the new Republican Party publicity director. Seems they dress in similar fashion.

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