User:Crazyswordsman/slashy

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the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
30,773 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
*...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ...that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
*...that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
  • ...that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?

News to whine about

Kim-Jong-Un-Funny.jpg


On this day...

Santa Baby

December 25: Democratic People's Republic of Korea Day (Worldwide) / Santa Claus's birthday / Chrismukhah / Decemberween / Wintereenmas

  • 0 - Some Assholes decide to make a day to sell a bunch of shit.
  • 0.5 - Our Saviour, Chuck Norris, is born.
  • 1 - God tells some dudes (Via Angel) to go to some city and wait for a child. The dudes do this (Both named Adam and Eve) and give birth to Bob Geldoff. God becomes irate and destroys the universe.
  • 3 - Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks God, creating Jesus
  • 10 - Jesus grew up, and realised that he was the Messiah.
  • 31 - The birth of Santa Claus.
  • 1776 - George Washington crosses the Delaware to conduct a sneak attack on the British. The event is later immortalized in the first issue of Action Comics.
  • 1776 - Tremendous backup on the Scudder Falls Bridge on I-95 going from Pennsylvania into New Jersey as George Washington's motorcade travels from last-minute gift-buying at the shopping malls of King of Prussia, near Valley Forge, to find a smoke-free restaurant in Trenton for their Christmas dinner.
  • 1856 - 1856 invented for living purposes.
  • 1902 - Santa decides to go on holiday to Amsterdam.
  • 1902 - Santa, whilst high, dresses in green and goes to Finland. Sadly, the colour catches on.
  • 1916 - Whilst strolling through France on a crisp Christmas morning, the Brits have a quick game of footie against the Germans. However, this quickly transforms into a friendly game of rough and tumble. Over a million were killed.
  • 1967 - Earth forgets what day it is.
  • 1985 - Hindus celebrate Christmas.
  • 1993 - Jews around the world decide to go to the movies.
  • 1994 - Atheist children receive gifts.
  • 1996 - Christmas is cancelled to mark the death of Screech from Saved by the Bell.
  • 2005 - George Bush officially renames Christmas as Bushmas to honour his war against grammar.
  • 2006 - In Finland, Santa still depicted in green. Rest of the world still confused.
  • 2008 - Santa is charged with kidnapping children and taking them to his grotto. He is soon released with the help of Michael Jackson's lawyers.
  • 2009 - Christmas cancelled after Santa Claus files for bankruptcy.
  • 2010 - Santa shoots redneck hick with his own gun in self-defence. He is arrested under the charges of trespassing, and sentenced to 5673 years of slave labour, after others complain about his trespassing.

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