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the autism-free encyclopedia that Dr. Anonymous Slashy, Ph. D. can edit.
31,226 different problems to whine about

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Today's thing that needs to suffer

Asperger Syndrome (pronounced ASS-burger SIN-drome) is a semi-voluntary behavioural disorder in the guise of a more serious and involuntary neurodevelopmental disability. Statistically it affects an undue number of radio talk show hosts and Hollywood actors, though it has yet to be determined whether the behavior guides ultimate vocation, or whether the condition results from prolonged exposure to ego-stroking. Some theorists believe that the entire Japanese people suffer from Asperger's Syndrome because of their tendency to stay emotionally detached in all situations except seppuku. (more...)

Aspies should all know...

*...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
*...that Godot isn't coming?
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
*...that Godot isn't coming?
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?

News to whine about

Spiked baseball bat.jpg

Recent Second Front Pages: GreeceHillary!UK election

On this day...


November 30: Vandalize Wikipedia Day ON WHEELS!!!

  • NARF NARF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • 53 - Roman general Steralusis accidentally steps in world's biggest pile of shit and is made Roman God of phoesis.
  • 1666 - Apparently, after good old Jack the Ripper offended the Jews with his shitty jokes, They unleashed the common cold onto London. Thousands die.
  • 1670 - The finger fuck day celebrated worldwide for the first time, after the discovery of male g-spot orgasm. Males all around the world commented "Now we also know that we can get an orgasm through multiple ways. We're not feeling inferior to females anymore, and it's great!"
  • 1825 - World's first railway line opens between Stockten and Darlington, England. Rail commuters are left waiting for a train until 1849. British Rail blames scheduled trackwork and weather for the delay.
  • 1900 - Oscar Wilde is fucking killed by Steve Ballmer. This then begins his career of making quotes about hundreds of Uncyclopedia articles.
  • 1950 Ron Jeremy loses virginity before he is born.
  • 1963 - Dalek invasion of Earth. US President JFK is accidentally exterminated when he is mistaken for Doctor Who. After being killed, JFK vows to put a man on Skaro before the summer of love.
  • 1984 - Big Brother finally assumes power - assumes power of levitation. His assumption was false, and he died trying to fly out of the window of his 6th storey one-room apartment in Brooklyn.
  • 1987 - Pac-Man dies of obesity in his home in California. Diet of dots and the ghosts of Christmas Past blamed.
  • 1998 - Bizarro, a confused being that randomly destroys stuff, accidentally stomps on an orphanage, thus, begins the 20 year Bizarrophan war.
  • 1999 - The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, but currently known as Wanker, decides that he'd rather party like it was 1983
  • 2034 - The great Aztek Reich of Nazi Mexico is established for 100,000,000,000,000 years.
  • 2002 - The documentary Harry Potter and The Chamber Pot of Secrets airs on BBC2. Controversy reigns when it is claimed that a budgetary hole just appeared like magic. Tony Blair disbands the Ministry of Magic and replaces it with a new portfolio, The Ministry of Sound.
  • 2005 - Cloud Strife, in a major change of disposition, does something.
  • 2006 - Thousands wait outside of WalMart to buy Microsoft Vista. However, was turn away when it was delayed for another 5 years.
  • 2007 - You are banned from Wikipedia, you cry.
  • 2010 - Volkswagen officially gives away the rights to use their logo (VW) to support Vandalize Wikipedia day.
  • Today - Some Dude rob another dude
  • Today - In Soviet Russia, Some Dude rob YOU!

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