User:Crablogger/Launchpad McQuack

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Bouncywikilogo8
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Crablogger/Launchpad McQuack.
Mcquack

Launchpad McQuack, from a commemorative mural in Duckburg.

Launchpad McQuack (May 4, 1925 - August 7, 1993) was an American fighter-pilot for the Disneyland Air Force and personal pilot to Scrooge McDuck. He is one of few pilots of the D.A.F. to hold the Golden Beak Medal.

edit Into the Air Force

When World War Two broke out, Launchpad saw front-line action during the Dambuster raids, where he provided a distraction to the Germans while the more up-to-date planes dropped the bombs on specific targets, particularly beaver-dams being used as relay stations (Hence the codename Dambusters).

After the war, Launchpad was enrolled into the Disneyland Air Force, later working his way up to the rank of Air Marshal. Along with Admiral Donald Duck, Air Marshal McQuack was one of the most prominent military figures from the Reign of the Rat.

During his time, Launchpad was ordered to send bombing raids to any enemies of Mickey Mouse, but Launchpad, who read the map upside-down, accidentally blew up Mauschwitz instead, allowing the parents of Skippy Squirrel to desert to Kazakhstan. However, the blast had killed several prisoners, and Launchpad was pardoned.

edit Post-Mouse Days

Following the end of the reign of Mickey Mouse, Launchpad was hired by multi-billionaire Scrooge McDuck as his personal pilot for 2 cents per day. With Launchpad's expertise and stupidity, Scrooge easily moulded Launchpad into a henchman for his tyrannical empire.

edit Death

While en route to Duckburg to pick up McDuck, Launchpad's helicopter mysteriously lost control and crashed three miles east of St. Canard. Launchpad was declared dead upon impact by paramedics, although nobody could find a defect in the helicopter. Some believe it to be the work of Magica De Spell, but this has not yet been verified.

Today, Launchpad is buried at the Duckburg Cemetery, adjacent to Bunnyham Palace.

edit Decorations and Awards

Among Launchpad's various medals, several include:

  • Golden Beak Medal (GBM) - A coveted flying medal given to veteran aces of Disneyland. Only Launchpad McQuack and Charles Dickens have ever earned this medal.
  • Silver Feather Order (SPO) - Given for 10,000 hours of flight on active service.
  • Pacific Biplane Service (PBS) - For pilots expertised in flying biplanes.
  • Triplane International Transit (TIT) - Given during Launchpads' attempt to fly the Crimson Haybailer across the Atlantic.
Personal tools
projects