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“Don't fuck around with extreme sarcasm. I mean it. It's not funny.”
“Yeah this is a REALLY good article”
“In Soviet Russia, sarcasm uses YOU!”
“Yeah, because Russian Reversal is SO funny. Did you come up with it all by yourself?”
“You are such a good reader, being able to read my quote and not explode”
“I looove kittens”
“Sarcasm detector. That's a REAL useful invention...”
Yeah, I'm SOOOO sure you want to learn about sarcasm.
Extreme sarcasm (not to be confused with Supersarcasm) is more deadly than hyperbole, satire, and limericks combined. Like regular sarcasm, it is a form of irony that is widely used in English for humour. Generally a sarcastic person or writer means the exact opposite of the whatever they say, often intending to be rude or to laugh at the person the words are directed at. Extreme sarcasm goes beyond this in that not only does it use irony or rudeness to laugh at the person directly, but that person's relation to the rest of the known universe.
This form of sarcasm is very, very dangerous and can cause the victim's entire personality to become temporarily existential. Extreme sarcasm has been known to tear the very fabric of space and time by rendering it patheticly humourous. The subject might snort in derision so hard that they suffer SEHS. Extreme sarcasm is, however, the only known defense against a Grue.
It is not exactly known why Grues are vulnerable to Extreme Sarcasm. One study suggests that you are likley to be eaten by a grue. A second study also suggests you are likley to be eaten by a grue by reading this page. A 3rd study also suggests you are likley to be eaten by a grue for reading this page too. It also says that Anti-Grues enjoy extreme sarcasm for reasons unknown.
That little bit about grues had everything to do with Extreme Sarcasm as well, in case you were wondering.
There are stories throughout history that address the more violent cases of extreme sarcasm. A good friend of Socrates, Archimenidisia, died during the following conversation. Socrates lived - but only because of his quick thinking.
"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy" said Socrates
"Yeah, you're totally right... and if you get a bad one, you'll be a philosopher" replied Archimenidisia
"I know you are, but what am I!" exclaimed Socrates back, just in the nick of time
Archmenidisa giggled so hard that he was torn apart from the inside-out. Socrates' childish sense of humour kept him alive, but he collapsed and was treated at a nearby hospital for months before he was able to walk again, much less snigger.
Like, THAT was funny.
Extreme sarcasm is also an extreme sport in which competitors make sarcastic comments in extreme situations, such as jumping from a 100 meter cliff without a paddle. If you can't tell, I wasn't being sarcastic. If you can't tell I wasn't being sarcastic. sigh....If you can't tell I wasn't being sarcastic......"Oh!"...Duh!!...Thank you!............retard.....