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 Somewhere Score: ? Moves: ?

You say "Archive Two, activate." The hologram projector expands, and shows holograms of all the creators and implementors yelling at each other. A plastic fold up chair is placed into the room by a robotic arm. You sit, and watch the conferences.

> Ohhhhh! Spoilers!

A hologram of Emmzee materialises in the center of the hologram projector. It says "Don't say I didn't warn you..."


I would like to thank you all! As a reward, copy this code to your userpage:


''--For helping create [[Game:Grueslayer]].''

It will magically transform into an award, I promise! Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer

Thanks! --Emmzee 22:24, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

TUTORIAL: Making pictures for Grueslayer, in MSpaint!

First, load up Paint. Use the paintbucket to make the whole document black. Then, look at the table of colors at the bottom of the window. Right-click the black color and left-click the bright green color. Go to 8x magnification and draw, with the pencil tool and maybe the line tool, the image, making it appear pixelated and low in graphics. Zoom out, and your image should look very small. Use the dotted-line box to select the whole image, and go to Image -> Stretch/skew and set the horizontal and vertical to 200%, and hit Okay. Do this twice, then on the third time, set horizontal and vertical to 95%. Save the image as a PNG, and upload it to Uncyclopedia. Bam, done! This is how I make every image. --Emmzee 13:03, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

PS: If somebody could set up User:Emmzee/sandbox, that would be great as I have my hands full making images.

Well, it depends what computer i'm using. For example, If it was my home one... Well...To honest... It can do anything except paint.--Naughty Budgie 22:33, 20 April 2007 (UTC)

YAY! I made my first image! I'll be uploading it soon. Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer


This is my first image for Grueslayer. User:Uncyclopedian/sig 03:53, 4 May 2007 (UTC)

I would make LOADS of images on Mspaint for Grueslayer, but don't have it. -Han Solo (High Gen. Grue) Comlink Grueslayer
No red please. This is a 2-bit, monochrome game. Green on black has an old and eighties feel to it. --Emmzee 23:13, 7 May 2007 (UTC)
Uhhhh, we have a PURPLE Eurg image... -Han Solo (High Gen. Grue) Comlink Grueslayer
Well it should be taken out and/or changed. --Emmzee 00:20, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
Gseurg Incoming non-monochrome image! *BOOM* -Han Solo (High Gen. Grue) Comlink Grueslayer
Well, maybe if we make all text on that page purple, we could do it. Like on the old Gameboys, everything on a screen is one color, and everything on another screen is a different color. But only 1 color per page. --Emmzee 00:34, 8 May 2007 (UTC)
I planned the purple Eurg image to be a one time thing. I understand the color is unique, but I planned it to stay unique as an easter egg for those who examine the save files. I don't think it will fit anywhere else as that one Eurg on File 4 is the only Eurg so far. Conniving 01:32, 12 May 2007 (UTC)

TUTORIAL: Making pictures for Grueslayer, in Mac AppleWorks!

Here's how to make a Grueslayer image if you happen to have a Mac.

  • First open the program AppleWorks > Painting
  • Use PaintBucket tool to make background Black
  • Go to the Bottom Left Corner of the document; you should see, from left to right, buttons imprinted with the number 100, a Small Mountain, a Larger Mountain, and a Tool Box. You have Two options:
      • Click the number 100. A list of numbers appear with the word Other... at the end > click Other..., and then type into the View Scale Box the number 1600
      • Or simply press the Larger Mountain 4 times. This will Zoom into the picture
  • Click on the box with the Colors > Pick a Light Green, 5 Left from the Top Right

Sometimes it's easier to draw with the color white and fill it in green using the paint bucket later.

  • Click on the Pencil Tool
  • Draw your Image, making it look rather Pixelated and Monochrome
  • When finished open the program Grab > Capture > Selection
  • Screen Cap your image > Close
    • Grab will give you three options; Don't Save : Cancel : Save. Save your File in a place you can easily find it at
  • Open the program Preview > Open... > yourfile.tiff
  • Chose from the Toolbar File > Export
    • In the Save File Box there will be an Option called Format > Select from the list .PNG
    • Also note to keep Hide Extension Box unchecked
        • Upload to Uncyclopedia and you've got a brand new Grueslayer image!
-- [citations needed] 04:58, 14 June 2007 (UTC)

Boss idea.

I need someone to make five squares like the chessboard template, that you can place a stick figure on, or make the inside a dark green colour, or make it disappear altogether. Trust me.--Naughty Budgie 08:54, 27 April 2007 (UTC)

Wait what? Explain in greater detail, you lost me. --Emmzee 12:35, 27 April 2007 (UTC)
Uh... ok, let's see... Has anyone played Crash 2? It's like the battle with tiny, where you
have to make the boss fall down holes, and every time you step on a platform, it starts fall
down and you have to get off their. Anyway, it's too time-consuming to draw every single
possibility. Trust me. I've tried, so we need a template like the chess one we can mess
around with.--Naughty Budgie 00:06, 28 April 2007 (UTC)
You should probably take the Chessboard template and play around with that in a sandbox, then replace the chessboard squares with the green squares you want. It will make things easier. Conniving 16:21, 13 May 2007 (UTC)
Possibly. I'll think about it.--Naughty Budgie 08:57, 16 May 2007 (UTC)

Do you mean something that looks mildly like ...this? I know I didn't get the colors right, but that's only because I have a mac and had to whip it up in PowerPoint. It's the best I could do. --[citations needed] 08:52, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Update: Alright, I got your boxes, and I somewhat understand where you're going. The one with the Grue face is the best I can do for now until someone draws me something better.
Upload these to this wiki and knock yourself out if they're what you wanted: [1], [2], [3] --[citations needed] 09:19, 27 May 2007 (UTC)


If you have any grueslayer related userboxes, put them here.

Grueslayer This user is a Grueslayer implementor.

--Naughty Budgie 07:08, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on easy mode. What a pathetic pansy.

--Naughty Budgie 07:14, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user has been eaten by a grue in Grueslayer.

--Naughty Budgie 07:16, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user edits Grueslayer.

--Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 11:05, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!

A. N. Otherpongo (Parp!/SB/Grueslayer/VFD//»Free iPod!) 18:10, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user slays grues in his/her sleep.

A. N. Otherpongo (Parp!/SB/Grueslayer/VFD//»Free iPod!) 18:10, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

User:Citation-Seer/Template:Grue--[citations needed] 08:31, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user likes to play Grueslayer PvP.

Conniving 14:36, 2 June 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on intermediate mode, and is therefore only somewhat mediocre.

(Started by me; Finished by Andorin Kato) -- * 08:36, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

For when this talk page gets too long....

We add a list of archives and use it as an access option in the Grueslayer interface at the top of this talk page. Or a template-box with green-on-black like on the Zork talk page. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 17:47, 5 May 2007 (UTC)

Yeah! User:Uncyclopedian/sig 17:50, 5 May 2007 (UTC)
But how long's too long?--Naughty Budgie 22:53, 5 May 2007 (UTC)

Problems with Zork that should be avoided in Grueslayer

"Just for that, you have been eaten by a grue"

Probably the most obnoxious phrase in Zork. The joke here is equating the parser with an unruly DM who violates game logic willy-nilly out of spite. This tends to greatly miss the point as to what a text adventure is supposed to be - a self-contained video game universe whose perception (but not its reality) is dependant upon the parser, and whose pitfalls and death-traps are up to the player to identify beforehand.

Straying from the fantasy genre

Zork is set in the D&D-inspired world of Quendor, a parodic fantasy universe populated with excessive kings, peculiar magical rites and legendary creatures. As such, text adventures featuring Grues, swords and dungeons should probably adhere to the standards of the genre. Occasional anachronisms for the purposes of humour are fine (Something like: "Insert two AA batteries to make magic sword glow. Note: batteries not invented"), but not when they're delivered straight and the player is expected to just accept them.

Consider, instead of placing obvious instances of technology, using magically powered counterparts. Palantirs instead of video cameras, demon-powered motorcycles instead of internal combustion engines, etc.

Uncyclopedia In-Jokes

They are neither unquestionably funny nor fundamental laws of physics. Don't require the player to know them.

Personally, I think some should stay. User:Uncyclopedian/sig 16:03, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Dark rooms where the player can somehow see everything despite said room being DARK

Just a little niggle of mine with regards to internal logic.

Rooms where the player only gets one link to click

Seriously, what's the point? Just combine both rooms and lower maintenance costs.

The Heteromasculine Normative Paradigm

This is a text adventure, and if you do not specify the identifying details of who the player is playing as, the player will assume that they are playing as themselves. As such, you must be inclusive to every possible person who plays it. Thus, the player's character must be:

  • Ageless
  • Faceless
  • Gender Neutral (and thus sexuality-neutral)
  • Culturally Ambiguous

RPG Battle Statistics

Hey fellows, this is a text adventure, not a statistics adventure. Everyone already knows that those "statistics" are fixed in place, and that they have very little bearing on the effectiveness of your combat decisions. Why not just describe the battle scene, using sentences such as "Your enemy is bleeding profusely. His grip on his weapon is weakening." ?

--L 09:48, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Stats weren't my idea. I've only done a couple of stat-battles in Zork 3 and honestly, they're more trouble than they're worth. Anyway, L. I'm glad you're on the team. I'll take your advice on board. I must say I do enjoy writing player-narrator arguments though. On one-click rooms: I try to avoid them at all costs. --A. N. Otherpongo (Parp!/SB/Grueslayer/VFD//»Free iPod!) 12:34, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Stock Pages

Pages that can be used more than once. Add more to the list if you want...

Grue-Related Deaths

Game:Grueslayer/grue - When the player chooses "Examine darkness". Can also be used as a template for basic grue deaths.
Game:Grueslayer/choosegrue - When the player chooses to be eaten by a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/shootgrue - When the player decides to shoot a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/swordgrue - When the player decides to a attack a grue with a non-grueslaying sword.
Game:Grueslayer/fistgrue - When the player attacks a grue with fists.
Game:Grueslayer/defendgrue - When the player chooses to defend a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/eatgrue - When the player chooses to eat a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/rungrue - When the player attempts to run from a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/talkgrue - When the player chooses to talk to a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/insultgrue - When the player decides to insult a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/stillgrue - When the player stands still in the presence of a grue.
Game:Grueslayer/DarkRoom - When a player has a pin light and is eaten by a grue in a very dark room

Non-Grue-Related Deaths

Game:Grueslayer/suicide - When the player chooses to die in a non-grue-related way.
Game:Grueslayer/bleh - For stupid non-grue-related deaths that require no explaination. An alternative to direct suicide.
Game:Grueslayer/bigweapon - For when superweapons other than the Hell Outta Here are gained when not needed by the plot.

Dead-Ends/Red Herrings

Game:Grueslayer/anotheruniverse - When the player chooses to look at a mysterious swirly thing.
Game:Grueslayer/hotel - When the player chooses to stop at a hotel.
Game:Grueslayer/backdoor - When the player chooses to leave a building that is needed in the plot.


Game:Grueslayer/othergamestart - When the player is teleported from another game.

Pongo (talk) (gs) 09:26, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

Red herring paths

Game:Grueslayer/hotel - Hotel Uncyclopedia isn't so safe...
Game:Grueslayer/backdoor - Hoth, mid-battle.

Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines

Links from Other Games

  1. Zork 1. There is a small chance of finding the Grueslayer (the sword) if you attempt to pronounce xyzzy.
  2. The Game. The Grueslayer is in the the library.
  3. Game Online. Dennis turns into a portal when you kill him, and you can jump through that portal. The portal leads to Grueslayer.

Pongo (talk) (gs) 08:03, 20 May 2007 (UTC)

Now there is Game:TextAdventurer, where you can grab the sword Grueslayer in the weapons chamber of Castle n00bsalot. User:Uncyclopedian/sig

Two things

First, is there an actual way to win this game and second what are the plans for adding stuff to the Hoth Base?

I just added this --[citations needed] 21:05, 26 May 2007 (UTC)


It would be nice if the items in the inventory were linked, hence, whenever it says something like...

 You have Ronalds's letter, a scalpel, a pistol and three bullets, a steak, an anti-flame sword, a flame shield, a two earplugs and Ronalds's sword should be able to click on it to bring up a list of options, i.e., when clicking on earplugs, it could say something like...

 You wasted your money on some ordinary, wax covered ear plugs, you squanderer! Now what are you gonna do about it?
  * Examine earplugs
  * Use earplugs on shopkeeper
  * Use plugs on self
  * Use plugs with other item: Ronalds's letter, scalpel, pistol, three bullets, steak, anti-flame sword, flame shield, two earplugs, Ronalds's sword
  * Eat plugs to replenish health
  * Continue back

--[citations needed] 07:07, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

What do you think this is, Monkey Island? --Emmzee 00:06, 28 May 2007 (UTC)
Well, err, to be honest...--Naughty Budgie 08:55, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Alright. Bad idea, I admit... **Sheepishly Sleeks Away...** --[citations needed] 19:12, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
It's not a bad idea, it's just difficult to implement. Conniving 02:12, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
I see... We'll I'd do it myself but I'd need some more time and help. Perhaps something similar could be used when the player first gets the item..? --[citations needed] 02:50, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

The Boss' Name


Have I been forgotten? I bet that frickin' Conniving is behind this.

What should we name the boss at the end of this game? The Giga-Grue? --[citations needed] 08:35, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

He'll pop out of a Grue trophy after that falls off the stage. Heh heh. But still, i'm not worried about bosses, i'm worried more about how many chapters we'll have, and how is hard mode's chapter 1 going to end. Maybe the final boss should be the player from The Abyss. Conniving 16:33, 28 May 2007 (UTC)
The final boss should be the Ur-Grue, Zombie Officer-Ronalds, or one of the implementors of the players choice.--Naughty Budgie 08:57, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Ooooh, pick me! :D I'll fuck em' up good. >:) (I meant beat them up. Only a moron couldn't figure that out.) But I did want to work on a PvP mode like what we have for Zork and Game and other stuff. And i'd be one of the challengers. Conniving 20:49, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Hey, I asked first. aww crap, he's gonna get it. Conniving 23:07, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Both of us should be. All of us should be. User:Uncyclopedian/sig 23:11, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Come to think of it, probably neither of us should be. Where will this image go then? Could you just start a PvP page for me? No fancy usernames that Grueslayer can hack, just put a bunch of suitable names and put my name as a challenger. I'll figure it out from there.

Edit: I'm sorry, I thought you were still talking about the final boss, which I had wanted (but now, not so much. Maybe Chapter 2 Hard Mode boss for me. :D ). Sure, all of us should be PvP enemies. Just don't fill it with only Implementors. Conniving 02:07, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

About that PvP

If we could follow the following rules to be followed, success shall, um... follow.

  • I think it would be great if we used option templates to decide whether or not Grueslayer weakens, misses, defeats, gets pwned the normal way, or gets UTTERLY FUCKING ANNIHILATED by his/her enemy.
  • All challengers must be BEATABLE. You can make it hard, you can lead the player through a longer-than-normal plotline and try and trick them, you can even put some option templates to see if Grueslater actually does kill his/her opponent, but they must be able to lose.
    • If you're an Implementor and want to be in it, come up with your own powers.
    • You aren't invincible. Just really annoyingly close. If you can't do that, don't be in it.
  • Out-of-the-ordinary enemies should be labeled (Boss), (Psychopath), (Implementor), (Chuck Norris), or any combination of the four. Preferably only one label per opponent, but whatever.
  • Include "Grue" and "n00b" as challengers.
  • If you're going to make a surprise win or death page at a certain point in the fight, make the option weight no lower than 15 for winning and no higher than 45 for death. Leaves about a 30% chance the fight will continue if that's followed to the limit, but do you really want only a 40% chance that those other pages you worked on so hard will ever be seen?
    • If the opponent is an Implementor (they should program their own fights anyway), no lower than 5% chance of suprise win, no higher than 70% chance of surprise death. If you're making your own pages, you can make them that hard, just not impossible.
    • Again, it's surprise win and surprise death. The player isn't expecting it, it doesn't HAVE to be programmed. Just makes the fight dynamic.
  • No freakin' statistics! At least, for Grueslayer. You can put them for the opponent if you wish, but only if it's comical and at the beginning of the fight.
    • Put damage done for comical purposes only. Like 9999 damage for the finishing blow.
    • If you HAVE to have an element, put it at the page with the listed opponents. Preferably use something along the lines of Earth, Water, Wind, Fire, Aether, Physical, Light, Dark, or (for Chuck Norris only) Chuck Norris. But there's that qualifier, you DON'T need it, do you?
    • If it's not a comical stat, or at the beginning page of the fight, leave it out.
    • Say things like you're profusely bleeding or getting ready to strike or whatever it was that Zork Implementor L said. Stuff like paralysis, bleeding, poison, etc. should really be the only statistics shown throughout the battle, if at all. Stat battles are more trouble than they're worth.

That should cover it. Conniving 02:16, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

Best. Idea. Ever. I CALL BEING THE THIRD-TO-LAST IMPLEMENTOR TO FACE! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 02:59, 31 May 2007 (UTC)


  • Cheats.


Cheats? Hell yeah. Conniving 03:01, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
^ ^ v v < > < > B A START. That will be a "insta-win", but actually is a losing page. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:05, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
If you have an issue, put it here. I'm willing to change. Already changed Implementor surprise defeat from 10% to 5%. Not like anyone but me would even put it in. o_O Conniving 03:13, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

New lightless death!

Game:Grueslayer/DarkRoom I used the censorship code to blank out the words; one is going to have to scroll the mouse over the words to see what's being said.

Maybe you can insert it into a dark room death somewhere. --[citations needed] 23:42, 27 May 2007 (UTC)

Perhaps that'll fit in a dark tunnel. Do ye know of any? Oh, and which chapter and difficulty is that page on? Conniving 16:22, 28 May 2007 (UTC)
The only dark tunnel I can think of now is on the Planet Hoth base (Easy, Chapter One) and more then a few of the caves in (Hard, Chapter One). I really meant this as a stock page, but it can't really be used until a pin light in thrown into the plot somewhere -- unless, of course it's edited out but that kind-of messes up the whole point.
I'm guessing that after the player receives said item this can be used as a replacement for the current "Examine Darkness" option.
The only problem I can see (no pun intended) right now is how the player will know that the page is censored and not think that some goon didn't just forget to toss in the full text. --[citations needed] 09:22, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Easy. Can you cover patches of the Slayer Command text? Or we should make a slayercommanddark template. That would work wonders. Conniving 20:56, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
And I put in a Penlight mode for one of the matches in PvP. Perhaps you can use your idea there. Conniving 01:16, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

I cannot take it anymore.

I demand to know what happens at George Washington's trial. --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 03:26, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

Then write it. I'm not working on that savefile yet. Conniving 16:17, 28 May 2007 (UTC)
Fine, well i'll write it. I started it. I know what's going to happen and you don't :).--Naughty Budgie 23:07, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

Yet another implementor

Citation-Seer may be our newest implementor. He's been contributing a lot lately. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 20:30, 28 May 2007 (UTC)

Hmm, perhaps, but i think that we should take a vote and... Oh what the hell, i'll bestow the userbox on him.--Naughty Budgie 08:58, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
Hmmm.... Now that I'm 'official' in this implementer business am I to assume that my name is supposed to be on the Game Credits List...? --[citations needed] 09:36, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
That's how it works. How do you want to kill the player if they decide to be an asshole? Conniving 20:40, 30 May 2007 (UTC)
I'll use the fact that I'm an Implementor to edit the player's few remains out of existence. --[citations needed] 03:50, 2 June 2007 (UTC)

PvP category and template

I think we should make Template:PvPslayerheader (slayerheader for PvP), and Category:Grueslayer PvP so that half of Category:Grueslayer isn't PvP. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:26, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

Ok. I did it. Use {{PvPslayerheader|0|0}} for PvP headers. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:56, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
I will also make a template for PvP deaths. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 05:03, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
Who will the challengers be, assuming the implementors are in? What will the pictures be? And will we use that party image we never used before? With the two people dancing? Conniving 12:17, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
If you could make the challenger thing in a table format, that would be great. Make columns for the opponent's name, their level, their element, and if they're a boss. If Grueslayer asks their own level, get pissed off and say they should know their own level. Conniving 12:38, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

Important PvP news: Also, I made Template:PvPslayerdied for PvP deaths. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 22:42, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

More news: I made Template:GSPvPWin for wins on GSPvP. User:Uncyclopedian/sig 22:58, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
Now make a table for me. I want it to have columns for the enemy's name, level, element, and title. Conniving 23:02, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
I dunno. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Well it's just a thought. I guess it isn't necessary. However, it makes the page a lot less sloppy if implemented. And the Implementors have to show their levels. Conniving 23:04, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
I'm on it. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:11, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
Damn. What I had in mind didn't work. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:26, 31 May 2007 (UTC)
It was actually good. Just needed to be black. And maybe less talkative. Conniving 23:29, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm Back!

Hi. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 16:22, 2 June 2007 (UTC)

Who are you? Go away! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 16:32, 2 June 2007 (UTC)
I'm Pongo Version 2, a кoммциіѕт. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 08:23, 3 June 2007 (UTC)
Anyway, welcome back! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 16:33, 2 June 2007 (UTC)
You've seen the PvP mode, right? Program some battles in. And remember, they must be beatable. The rules for making the fights have been posted in an earlier section in case you didn't see them. Conniving 17:05, 2 June 2007 (UTC)

Do we really need score and moves for PvP?

I don't think they're entirely necessary. At least I don't think score is. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 07:58, 3 June 2007 (UTC)

I think you're right. At least about the scores. Couldn't hurt to program them both anyway, they're part of the template. Although I have been forgetting to put them in myself whenever I make a new installment to a fight. Conniving 14:09, 3 June 2007 (UTC)


I hope you don't mind but I just archived many of the discussions on this page right over here. --[citations needed] 02:29, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

We needed that, man. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 02:30, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
You should put yourself on the Credits List if you're an Implementor now. Just be honest with your accomplishments. And we found great use of your Pin Light idea in PvP. :D Conniving 02:33, 10 June 2007 (UTC)
Thanks, and I will do that ASAP, but I have to get off now. --[citations needed] 02:36, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

Oooh! Big plot twist!

I think It'd be really neat if the female deputy in easy mode turned out to be the badguygal. She could be using the player to try to get to the Grueslayer Sword. When this is found out in the end it is already too late; she has the Sword and all the Grue powers in the universe; she is the game's final boss.

I'm still working on how Ronalds and his letter fit into all this. Ideas for them:

  • He was trying to help you stop the Deputy and got mixed up in the process
  • He was the Deputy's lacky and turned against her so he could have the power himself
    • The letter could have been forged by the Deputy
    • 'U-Gene' (Ur-Grue) is the Deputy in disguise
    • When the letter quotes, "Kill the deputy," it could be referring to either the real Deputy (locked up in the closet or whatnot) or another Deputy (found elsewhere in the game) altogether

I think it would be good if 'clues' where given out about this here and there, too. For example, the letter could have some phrase (like, "gee-whiz" or "funky," although maybe something more...subtle) that the Deputy uses three or four times throughout the game. --[citations needed] 03:10, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

She can't be the final boss. The creators want her dead at the end of Chapter 2. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
  • Ahh... good point. Perhaps a Chapter 2 boss, then..? -- [citations needed] 05:15, 14 June 2007 (UTC)
And the U-Gene is the Ur-Grue. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
  • I know. That why I said she could be wearing a disguise. -- [citations needed] 05:15, 14 June 2007 (UTC)
Oh right, and the player does not even have the Grueslayer sword. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
  • I was thinking that the point of the game was for the player to find the sword. I was saying that the Deputy could really be following the Grueslayer AFGNCAAP around so she could snatch the Grueslayer sword before the player was able to. -- [citations needed] 05:15, 14 June 2007 (UTC)


UNKNOWNWNHUMORFROMTHISUSER hates Grueslayer, and may put it on VFD. No flaming, please. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:15, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

1. Why? 2. How do you know?--Naughty Budgie 10:08, 11 June 2007 (UTC)

One, he hates it. Two, via IRC. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:26, 12 June 2007 (UTC)


As quoted when trying to add myself to the PvP...


So it's too late to add my name to the Implementor battle list down there? That doesn't seem right... :u/ And what's this about a Tyatu plot? --[citations needed] 03:23, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

TYATU battle will lead to the SUPER-SUBPLOT! User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Shush, you! Conniving 01:21, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

Here's an updated, more monochrome version, as was wished. --[citations needed] 23:59, 12 June 2007 (UTC)

Will I be able to implement my battle-self in at that plot point? And could you leave the link to said plot on my talkpage? Either way, I had made this Grueslayer version of yours truly for whenever I get the chance to insert my cameo. You can use it as you like. --[citations needed] 21:05, 11 June 2007 (UTC)

WARNING!!!! NON-MONOCHROME IMAGE(see eyes)!!!! User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Much better. User:Uncyclopedian/sig

A quite gross contridiction, I might add...

[4]: "The Grue-ologist makes quick cutting off your ████████ and makes them into a wind chime."

...And yet a AFGN-CAAP is defined as an...

"Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally-Ambiguous Adventure Person"

How's this possible if the player is not a male? I don't think I even want to know... -- [citations needed] 09:21, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

It's an in-joke. It doesn't have to make sense. Anyways, the grue-ologist could still use skinning.
I say change it to off/out. Like the PvP match says. Conniving 02:06, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

I imagine him as a male, but I think we should change it. Skewered, anyone? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 20:32, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

You imagine Grueslayer as a male because you are a male and are playing as yourself. In reality, there's no imagining AFGNCAAPs as male or female. They could be either, and the game goes down a dangerous road to assume one or the other at any given moment. The game loses its appeal to females playing, who would otherwise think they were playing as themselves. Same goes for fanservice only for heteromales/lesbians, we can't have some hot chick making faces at the player. Or a studly stud hitting on what we would assume (but really shouldn't) to be a heterofemale/gay male-type. Conniving 01:03, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

Intermediate Option

I just added the Intermediate option to the game, although you could delete it if you don't like the concept. -- [citations needed] 05:17, 14 June 2007 (UTC)

It could be something else other than castle. You don't want to get anywhere near The Castle's concept. Can you think up another location? Conniving 02:09, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
An island in the middle of nowhere. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 02:10, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
Space, Sci-Fi style. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Third-degree whoring! /me tasers Uncyclopedian --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:12, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
Huh? User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Maybe Iraq? User:Uncyclopedian/sig
We have nothing to fear, but fear itself Bush exploding the player. But shouldn't this go through Trar and emmzee first? --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:16, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
I don't care if it's a castle or whatnot; I wasn't planing to start that branch myself, anyway. But HG has a good point, bringing it to the creators before doing anything rash. -- [citations needed] 04:24, 15 June 2007 (UTC)
Sewers leading out of the player's underground home. Conniving 19:59, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

I think it's a great idea. But we would need a userbox saying that this user beat intermediate mode. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 20:30, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

I was just making the box (although I wasn't inspired enough to make a good tagline at the moment) but someone finished it before me the instant I created its page.

And I also got a basic plot going, it's not a castle anymore..... --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 02:27, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on intermediate mode, and is therefore only somewhat mediocre.

--[citations needed] 06:40, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

I good use for those rubies

Concept to Implement: In the prospectors' area the player could come across a gypsy hut/mad scientist lab/shaman cave/exc. The occupant thereof can offer to transform said player into the creature of his/her choice in trade for the rubies s/he got earlier in the game. -- [citations needed] 04:34, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

Lo and Behold..!

The Random Implementor Templates:

  • {{Template:GSI}}: Gives a Random Implementor [i.e. {{gsl|User:BlueYonder|Blue Yonder))]
  • {{Template:GSI C}}: Gives a Random Implementor or Grueslayer Creator [i.e. Emmzee]
-- [citations needed] 05:31, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

Click Here

Template Fakelink should be used once in a while in this game, don't ya' think? -- [citations needed] 05:38, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

PvP: Agent U

 Message from Agent U: You need the Secret Agents' code. Add it to the URL.

How am I to get this code, whereas I can implement there? --[citations needed] 06:03, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

You get the code by beating the secret agents. I have selected a code already. User:Uncyclopedian/sig

Save Point

I just made it possible to 'save' once one gets to the beginning of Chapter 2: Easy Mode. -- [citations needed] 10:31, 15 June 2007 (UTC)

Check these out!

Game:Grueslayer/town: The first option would lead to an encounter with the rally or one of the drivers. The second option, the player explores and finds something(after eating an ice cream), and the third option, Game:Grueslayer/town/zombies, the player has free will, but as a zombie.

Edit as you see fit. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 22:08, 16 June 2007 (UTC)

New PvP Template

New Message Received From Citation-Seer: I just created {{Template:SlayerPvPMG|(From Who Goes Here)|(What's Said Goes Here)}} template for PvP for when the player receives a message. I don't necessarily like the colors, though.

Perhaps this can be used in Pin Light rooms? This isn't monochrome. Conniving 10:52, 17 June 2007 (UTC)
Yeah, that's why. Change as will fit. --Citation-Seer 19:21, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

I THINK..........

................that we should have a Grueslayer ninjastar. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 02:23, 18 June 2007 (UTC)

YEAH!!! I'll make it!!! User:Uncyclopedian/sig
But who gets it? Conniving 12:35, 18 June 2007 (UTC)
The following things should be able to get it for a user: Good use of the environment(GREEN), and good edits to Grueslayer. User:Uncyclopedian/sig

Gsstar There. User:Uncyclopedian/sig

Um... ask Budgie to green up a normal ninjastar. Conniving 11:11, 20 June 2007 (UTC)
I don't know where the regular ninjastars are.--Naughty Budgie 02:37, 24 June 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedia:Ninjastars. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:09, 24 June 2007 (UTC)


Game:Grueslayer/recent IS CRITICAL! SEND A MEDIC NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 22:42, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

Blame Sannse and her MediaWiki upgrade. It happened to the village dump. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 22:44, 25 June 2007 (UTC)
I don't understand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's wrong, tell me now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Conniving 11:59, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

I need your opinion

Should I add <span style="text-decoration: blink;">_</span>(which creates _ ) to Template:slayercommand, like they did in the REAL Zork? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 16:51, 29 June 2007 (UTC)

It might get a bit annoying. I'll take it for a test-drive... ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 16:54, 29 June 2007 (UTC)
Just remember, this isn't Zork, it's Grueslayer. I think too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia are off because they take TOO much from Zork. We set ourselves apart a bit with a new color scheme, but we need more than that. Just look at things like MMORPG, that seems to deviate away from Zork quite a bit and I like it. It's... refreshing. And if you're thinking of going closer to the REAL Zork, that's the same problem. Conniving 17:17, 29 June 2007 (UTC)
I think it looks ugly. This wouldn't look out of place in Uncyclopedia Zork though. Conniving 00:31, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

It's decided. No blinking _'s. We are NOT Zork in ANY form. We are unique. We are Grueslayer! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 01:42, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Well I saw no blinking. All I ever saw was an underscore, and I still hated it. Please, let me get rid of it. >_< Conniving 01:48, 30 June 2007 (UTC)
Removed. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 07:43, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Shouldn't we feature that (sort of) useless mop from The Abyss at some point?

Just an idea... but where, and how? ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 09:11, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

We're not Abyss either. But you could put it in PvP, when the player leaves the bathroom line and I blow them up with dice. Still, if it's useless after all, there's not much need for it. I see little need for it in the Land of Flamewars, in the hands of a zombie, or on Mount St. Helens. Maybe the Prospector's hut? Conniving 13:17, 30 June 2007 (UTC)
It was not useless. You could kill a grue with it. User:Uncyclopedian/sig
Well what's so prominent about a mop? The less we go back to games such as The Abyss and Zork, the better. Not to say we shouldn't follow those etiquette rules that Zork Implementor L put up, but we don't want similar storylines. We want to avoid Abyss and Zork clones as much as necessary. I say necessary as in we don't want to take out Grues and such. Conniving 16:53, 30 June 2007 (UTC)
I don't think so. If it's useless, we probably don't need it, except as a red herring. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 17:10, 30 June 2007 (UTC)
The mop annoyed me in that game. Focus on useless items that make this game great, not the ones that made other games great. Conniving 17:32, 30 June 2007 (UTC)


I recently discovered that this is an actual infocom game, so i decided to make it on uncyc: Planetfall. It's going to be more action oriented than most other games, and it's bichromal. Is that a word? Whatever, it has pictures too.--Naughty Budgie 23:02, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

Oh, and one more thing: NO GRUES. Han solo is OK, because it's Sci-Fi and funny, but NO OTHER GRUES! THAT MEANS NO SPACE GRUES!--Naughty Budgie 23:10, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

I think it's a great idea. Unfortunately, I don't have the game, so I might not be able to help, Unless I can download it! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) Mchammer 02:06, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

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