User:CommieMan668/Frechman Murders Ratatoullie
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CommieMan668/Frechman Murders Ratatoullie
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 2, 2015, 22:40:UTC)(
21 September 2012
Paris, Canada -- On September 21st 2012, Ratatoullie, a famous movie star from Ratatoullie (2007) was murdered by a jealous Frenchman who clubbed him with a large piece of stale french bread which we all hate, except the French... ehem, but besides hating stale bread, his body was found in a dumpster behind an igloo in Paris Canada. Many other stars wept about his demise, saying quote "Ratatoullie has to feed my kids!" and "Im prego with his eggos!" President Obama said today that just last week him and Ratatoullie made a million dollar company called Quibids and were rich, but after the attack the company went up in flames as aliens stole all the money for cancer research.
We will all miss him even though he polluted our streets, ate our crap and killed our children, no wait that was dexter... sorry. Oh i remember what i meant to say, we will all miss him for his loving chefness and we shall all go the that crappy restaurant in Paris, Canada. But one factor police said could have induced Ratatoullie to die from a French man was possibly the fact the just yesterday Canada, or The Great White North, teleported to Antarctica for a better climate due to Global Warming, and they took the polar bears with them by the way. One note found on the middle of the now halved peace bridge going from Berlin,Ontario to Niagra falls, Quebec, which read "Dear America, your makin' it too hot up here eh, were gonna be gone for a while till it cools down to we all went to Antarctica with the polar bears and seals, sorry eh. Sincerely, Canada :D"
While police haven't released the french man's name it is sure to produce commotion if its Jaques Creation again. Thats all Folks!
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|