User:Colin "All your base" Heaney/Revelations from the therapist's office

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Now, I usually consider myself a pretty insightful guy, full of insight and the like. I'm generally a deep thinker, always able to come up with my own ideas on how things work and interpreting things in an original manner. But when I went to the therapist's office last Monday, I amazed even myself. Such startling revelations came out of the recesses of my mind, I was flabbergasted to the point of insanity.

edit My first revelation

Over the course of my 15 minutes in the waiting room of the therapist's office, I saw a painting of Noah and all his animals leaving the ark, onto dry (or at least slightly soggy) land. I found myself wondering, where are all the dinosaurs? I then realized that the animals had to be able to reproduce to survive as a species. Naturally, this led to the revelation that at least half of each pair of dinosaurs Noah brought onto the boat were gay. And according to the literal interpretations from Fundamental Christians, the gay ones don't deserve life anyways. So, I thought, my reasoning was sound.

edit My second revelation


I love Phallic Surprise!!!

After I made my way from the waiting room into his office, he started asking me generic questions about myself. What kinds of movies, sports, and music I liked, and if I played an instrument. This got me to thinking, what if I started a band? What would I name it? The answer was simple and obvious. Phallic Surprise! I would make music accessible to the youth, and they would love me and my band-mates forever. More importantly, when asked about their favorite music by their peers and guardians, they would shout "I love Phallic Surprise!!!" The stresses of fame would be worth it just for that.

edit My third and final revelation

Now, I'm a huge fan of comics, and apparently my therapist is too. At this point I was slipping into the unfortunate recesses of madness, so I came to the natural state of mind for bored people at the therapist: scatological humor. Namely, The Adventures of Scatman and Fecal Lad (in comic-book form)!

edit Scatman and Fecal Lad

Known among Septic City as the "Saviors' Stool", Scatman and Fecal Lad fight for justice with a

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