User:Clemens177/Attention Whore endlessly hitting refresh
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|This article is part of UnNews||Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard|
2 June 2009
Springfield, Illinois - Uncyclopedia Writer, Attention Whore and unemployed bum (censored), better known as Clemens177, has been endlessly hitting refresh on the Main Page of Uncyclopedia, in the hopes of seeing the N00b of the Month section updated to be about him.
Interviewed at his mom's basement, where the self-described 'frustrated genius' lives until he can get some money saved, he related, "I typed my ass off, man! Over half a dozen articles, an UnBook, and to top it all off, the coup de grace, I did near a dozen UnNews columns, one and sometimes two per day - and did that every day!"
While it's true that the volume of Clemens177's contributions was rather large for his three week tenure, Uncyclopedia management believe he is jumping the gun. "Sure, he posted a lot, and some of the shit even made me laugh", said a highly ranked source in the hierarchy of Uncyclopedia. "But we're like short staffed here, man, and it ain't like any of us are getting paid! He got his damn Pacifier Award, maybe he needs to put it in his mouth and shut up!"
Clemens177 says it's not about the Pacifier, or even the free beef jerky that he believed he was to get if he won. It's about the recognition from his peers here at Uncyclopedia. "I've a right to have my name on that below the fold front section", said Clemens177, "YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans has had his day in the sun, hell, his whole friggin' month, and now it's my turn! This old Attention Whore doesn't want to lose a single day in his month long 15 minutes of fame!"
It's believed that Clemens177 principally wishes to be able to show that newly updated and 'Clemens177-centered' section to his mom, to justify his almost year long stay in her basement. "Hell, I'm 32 years old, I don't want her to think I'm a total failure, just because I refuse to play the system's corporate bullshit games, comply and become some cubicle drone. I'm not meant for a cubicle!"