From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|"Michael Milligan clarkII"|
|Class||low order = Carnivora|
|Primary armament||wrestiling moves|
|Secondary armament||hoboo bashing skills|
|Special attack||child devourment|
edit early life
the sad strange life of Michael Milligan Clark (MmC) A.K.A. the Bald Eagle is a tale of twisted desire and small dessert cherries. His life began in the small town of Loa Utah where after a rather awkward accident involving a sheep farmer, two barmaids, a rather disgruntled sheep, and a bale of hay a small boy was born, after much finger pointing and blame passing the boy fell into the parent ship of the disgruntled sheep and, bale of hay. he grew up as normal as he could living off of spare tires and small children. but soon he found that he could disguise himself to fit in with the populace and so he took up the identity of one of the delicious small children whom he had devoured and joined the human populace. he went to Loa elementary for four years until tired of living the life of a small schoolboy he devoured his surrogate family and set off to discover other parts of the world.
After leaving his town of birth he migrated southwestwardly to Las Angeles where he took on the identity of a 17 year old emotionally unstable barber in training. he lived a humble life, he moved into a small one room apartment that he shared with a illegal immigrant named Pochunace Migrado who was a wrestler for the Mexican wrestling federation. By day MmC was a regular disgruntled teen working at a rundown barbershop and listening to Disney radio but by night he became the masked hobo beater of bazul. Although he was happy with his life for the time his roommates’ success in the wrestling business prompted him to move yet again.
edit wrestling career
he started wrestling shortly after ending his career as a barbershop boy and devouring his roommate (with some difficulty) then he moved even further south to Mexico where he took on the identity of his former roommate and began his life as the wrestler "The Bald Eagle." he got this nickname because of the horrible comb over he insisted on wearing. he started at the bottom of the wrestling federation and moved up in rank so fast that it seemed that his opponents had mysteriously disappeared (eaten) until at the top he had all that he had ever wanted a warm bed some honeys in the hot tub and a midsized sport sedan. but this success was short lived as his terrible secret was soon found out when his real parents came for a visit and he was forced to eat a cameraman unfortunately photographers for the paparazzi are notoriously hard to stomach and as soon as he was regurgitated he ran to his editor ands squealed like a pig. he was then forced to fee Mexico and retire near his hometown in another small town called Cedar City.
edit teaching career
With his move to Cedar city Michael was once again out of a job, and back on the streets. By now he had figured out how to create his own identity and so he did keeping little bits of all the people that he had eaten and comining their features into one seriously obnoxious person. he then foud one Mr Tripp and by holding his son for ransom landed himself a job teaching at a little know school called success academy where he has begun his icidious plan to take over the world by corrupting the best and brightest minds and eating those who he saw as unfit. to this day nowone know exatly what he is up to but be warned within the next few years he and his small group of followers will rise up and overthrow the government and comence to eating all the small children that he can get his hands on....
His victims included:
Rosa Hinahosa Stephanie Legg
Laurana quiroz Michael suiceda