User:Citrusmirakel/Tiananmen Square

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Tiananmen Square (Simplified Chinese: 天安门广场; Overcomplicated Chinese: 天安門廣場棋盘街大清门中华门棋盘街) is a plaza in the center of Beijing, China. The plaza, named after the new wave band, The Tiananmen (literally, Bards of a Fair and Just Government) was built in 1417 as a monument to peace. 600 years later, nothing at all is ironic about this.

edit The Building of Tiananmen Square

In the midst of the Ming dynasty, it was prophisized that at some point in the future, a great and glorious leader named Mao Tse Tung would be born. And that this leader would, upon death, need a mausoleum (not to be confused with a Maüsoleum, which is where bad Art Spiegelmen drawings go to die) in a high traffic area.

edit Historic Events

Tiananmen Square has been the site of a number of political events, such as the annual Chairman Mao Is A Fantastic Leader Parade, which was started by the Proletariat, and was in no way influenced by outside government agencies. The square has also been the site for only one protest; The Protest Against People Who Disagree That Chairman Mao Is A Fantastic Leader. The Ministry of Truth explains the reason for the annual non-violent protest.

In a marketplace of ideas, such as the People's Republic of China, there are some people who, regardless of a lack of reason, choose to voice dissent upon their fairly elected leaders. In response to this, the Chinese working class gather in the square each year, holding ceremonial rifles to the heads of these dissenters in an encouragement for them to "shoot their mouth off."

edit 1989 Protests

There were no such protests.

Edit: In a response to a series of inquiries made by the American Central Intelligence Agency, this article is now willing to acknowledge that there were in fact protests in 1989, and that as many as 7 Chinese citizens may have received moderate to severe boo-boos, and that 2 may have received mild owies. The reason for these protests in unknown and irrelevant.
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