User:CiaranP/Yoshema’s Lab

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Game show famous world wide, originaly broadcast in 1999 from Tokyo, Japan. For other versions of the show, see Yoshema's Lab (Disambiguation).

edit Format

The show's classic format has not really been altered much since the original broadcast of the show in 1999, appart from a fiew minor changes, here and there. One million start, go through loads of deadly shit, and one comes out victorious, and alive. We all know how those Japs love death.

edit Round 1

The competition begins with round one “The Great Escape“, where one million contestants come into a massive warehouse, and the doors are locked and sealed. The only way out… A small one meter squared hole in the middle of the ceiling - fifty foot above the ground, and the contestants. The only light visible is the natural light from the exit, to give the contestants some sort of hope… The first 250,000 contestants to make it through the exit continue to the next round. But how do they make it to the exit? The warehouse is slowly filled with water, and the contestants must float up to the exit hole, and escape the warehouse. After the 250,000th person escapes to the next round, the exit is locked and sealed. The contestants left in the warehouse after this are trapped in, as the water level continues to rise, until they all drown. In the show’s first year this round went slightly different, where instead of letting the remaining die, the main doors to the warehouse were opened, allowing the contestants who failed to make it through to the next round out. After the show’s producers decided death kept the viewers happy, they used the failing contestants in a later round that involved killing your way through a maze full of people dressed totally in black, with strong electric shocks. This round was altered in later series of the show.

edit Round 2

Round two is known as “The Lion’s Den”. After contestants make it out of the warehouse in “The Great Escape”, they find themselves on a rooftop. They make their way down a steel spiral staircase, to the entrance to a massive labyrinth. The contestants must simply make it to the centre of the labyrinth, which happens to have ten fully grown African lions roaming it, which have been starved for days in advanced of the competition. Too easy? The contestants must race through the labyrinth (which covers just over one square mile) with a plastic container full of petrol strapped to their back. What’s so bad about this, you may ask yourself? There is a small detonator on the inside of the canister, and if the contestant doesn’t make it to the centre of the labyrinth , or the “Safe Zone”, in under 10 minutes, the canister will blow up, taking the contestant with it. The canisters are also tamper-proof. If any contestant attempts to remove or tamper with the canister, it will explode. And as if this all isn’t enough, the labyrinth is full of moving walls, booby traps, and several areas of quick sand. After ten minutes has passed, the detonators of any contestants that have failed to make it to the safe zone will send a small spark, igniting the petrol inside the canister, and literally vaporising the contestant un-lucky enough to be wearing it.

edit Round 3

The “lucky” contestants who managed to make it through the labyrinth to the safe zone at the centre find a manhole, with a ladder leading contestants down below the ground, to a massive bunker used during the second world war. The bunker, however, has been adjusted. It has been transformed into a massive laser tag arena for the third round, dubbed “Out of the Frying Pan…”. At this stage in last years show there were just over 82,000 contestants left. Once they make it to the bunker, they must remove the petrol canisters from their backs, and change into some specially rigged “protective” body armour, and get their specially adapted laser guns. The body armour is rigged so that each time the contestant wearing it is shot, an electric charge is sent through their body, and each time they are shot the electric charge increases in voltage, and the amount of time the charge lasts slightly, until the contestant is killed. This round continues for as long as it takes, ending only when there are 3,000 contestants left. In the second series of the show, some contestants thought it a smart idea to find somewhere and hide until the round is over. To avoid this happening again, the contestants are now fitted with infra red goggles, and the bunker is pitch black, meaning that contestants can only see heat. If contestants do not move for a certain period of time, an electric charge is sent through their bodies, to keep the game interesting for the average ninety minutes this round lasts. Once only 3,000 contestants remain in the competition, an Electro Magnetic Pulse is detonated, disabling all electronic equipment in the bunker. Neon strip lighting in the ceiling comes on, and the contestants must make their way to the surface through the massive bunker, to the main entrance, cunningly disguised as a shed, at the back of a farm.

edit Round 4

“The Farm” is the fourth round in the competition, where contestants must make it across a farm. This is, however, a specially rigged farm. It is full booby traps, set to shoot anyone unlucky enough to trigger them with a dart full of LSD. The ridiculous amount in this dart starts it’s effect’s almost immediately, causing strong physical and mental stimulation. In previous years, the dart’s caused either instant death, constant twitching until they drop to the ground and loose all control of their body, or in some cases the drug can have no apparent effects at first, but eventually causing contestants to go into a psychedelic trip, until they die from the fatal overdose they’re body has suffered. The contestants who make it out of the farm alive continue onto the next round, but to do this they must make it to the front gate. This is the only exit, as the farm is surrounded by 10 foot hedges, concealing high voltage electric fences. In the first year, this round was thought to be too easy, so the producers introduced mines in the ground, and a large farm house that contestants must make their way through.

edit Finale

After this round, the remaining contestants must walk along a small country road to the main television set, to the awaiting audience. For this, the first stage of the finale, the contestants are given a t-shirt with an individual number on it as they enter the set, and must line up in front of the live audience of thousands, and the audience of millions worldwide. The public then has the opportunity to help some of the contestants, by voting through phone, text, or interactively (pushing the red button), using the number on the contestant they wish to helps t-shirt. The lines are left open for 10 minutes, and after this, the votes are counted. After this, the ten contestants with the most votes win a fast track pass to the final stage of the finale, and are led offstage to a waiting room. This stage in the finale was added in the second year of the competition, when producers that the show required more revenue than sponsorship alone.

edit Stage 1

The contestants who did not get voted through to the final stage are then led offstage to the first stage of the final, known as "The Bridge above Pointy Rocks". Contestants must race across the small rope bridge, and not fall. Historically, Chin Chon, winner of the 2003 contest, got across the bridge first, and cut the ropes. This led to him causing the death of all the remaining contestants, and a lengthy jail sentence for mass-murder. Chin still gets to see his child, during visiting hours.

Personal tools