User:ChromaNebula/Chocoholics Anonymous

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ChromaNebula/Chocoholics Anonymous was an article written for the Noob only writing competition 2012!
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Chocoholics Anonymous, or CA, is an international aid program designed to help those who are addicted to chocolate stop eating it. It was founded by Will Bilson and Dr. John Doe, two recovering chocoholics who wished to help others with their same plight. Chocoholics Anonymous utilizes an innovative twelve-step program to ensure success. According to a spokeswoman for CA, "ninety-nine percent of chocoholics who come to us end up cured. The rest...well, they go on to be reality TV stars.


edit Twelve steps to recovery

1. Accept that chocoholism has taken over your very soul.

        CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!
              Mmm hmm.

2. Accept that only the Flying Spaghetti Monster can restore your sanity.

        Yeah, spaghetti is great and all, but when do I get chocolate?   

3. Turn yourself over to the Monster. 4. Write down all your past actions, both good and bad. 5. Admit your moral wrongs. 6. Be ready for the Monster to work its All-Powerful Magic. 7. Bow and ask the Monster to work said magic. 8. List people you've hurt and vow to redeem yourself.

         Like that beggar whose chocolate cookies I stole?

9. Actually redeem yourself.

          Here's another box of cookies...UM NUM NUM!

10. Continue to write down your actions and admit your moral wrongs promptly. 11. Pray for a connection with the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

           Maybe I'll just pray for chocolate...

12. Pass your spiritual enlighenment on to other chocoholics.

            I THOUGHT THIS WAS CHOCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS! WHEN DO WE GET CHOCOLATE?!?!?!?
                      Um, the whole point is to get RID of your addiction. 
                               Oh.
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