From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Sandwichology is a scientific study regarding the composition and consumption of sandwiches. Though sandwichology isn't well regarded by most professors or other know-it-alls, a major in sandwichology may be required when applying for a job in a deli. In fact, many of the best chefs ever known have PhDs in this science.
edit The History of Sandwichology
Sandwichology first began at some point in time after the Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich, probably around the mid-1700s. His friends were amazed by his new culinary invention, and felt the need to find out what made his sandwiches taste so delicious. Thus, Earl's friends started the science of sandwichology, studying the many different types of sandwiches, how good they taste, and the ingredients needed to make them.
After that, sandwichology fell into obscurity, until the well-known, well-cliched Anonymous started mentioning it in his quotes. Eventually, sandwichology became a science taught in many prestigious universities, more often than not in order to major in the culinary arts.
edit Sandwichology in Practice
One of the many practices of sandwichology includes classifying the various ingredients for sandwiches based on whether of not it makes the sandwich as a whole taste better. For example, almost everybody knows that white bread isn't exactly as delicious as deep-fried ice cream. Due to this, white bread has been placed with guacamole, rotten lettuce, and math textbooks in the category of "Things That Make Sandwiches Taste Worse." Everybody also knows that mustard goes very well with almost any sandwich. Due to that, mustard is grouped along with beef jerky, pickles, and history textbooks in "Things That Make Sandwiches Taste Awesome." Another practice in sandwichology is classifying different sandwiches and measuring their taste on a scale of 1 to 10. For instance the McDonald's Big Mac rates a 2 on the Sandwich Scale. However, an eggplant Parmesan po-boy would most definitely score a 9.5 on the Sandwich Scale.
edit Notable Sandwichologists
Despite sandwichology's use by many renowned chefs, some people argue that sandwichology is a pseudoscience. When asked why, many of these people simply said that a science relating to sandwiches just sounds stupid. On the contrary, Dr. John Herosandwich of Brown University states that Sandwichology uses traditional scientific methods, and also that "The sceptics' moms are so fat that their asses have their own congressmen."