Peptojizmol

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Gaspalpha
If your partner looks like this, you know it's working.
You are, at the moment, trying to make passionate love to your favorite man/woman/shemale/transexual/boy. It's 1:17. Then you realize it. You can't get it up. You've tried everything, and you're going to have to eventually call it quits. Then you remember what you spent that $100 bill on. Hey Peptojizmol! Now, you've got the most massive 'uppie' ever. Your partner looks at it in horror. "What the fuck?" should be the last three words that your partner says the entire night. Please check the image on the left to determine whether or not Peptojizmol is working. If not, please shove it up your ass. No, really, that should do the trick of getting our secret concoction directly in between your legs. I mean, if it didn't then why else would anal sex give you diseases you were only supposed to get through your penis? Huh? Yeah, I thought so.

edit How Peptojizmol Works

Pepto
Look for our trademark 'pretested' bottle on the black market today!

Peptojizmol, also known as Cialis-Enzyte-Viagra-Vicerex-Crack, functions by quickly and painlessly diverting your entire body's bloodflow to the phallic region. This has been deemed "The Big One" by the elderly who use this erectile mega-enhancement. Just listen to these true stories.

  • Joe, from Philadelphia, says "I love Peptojizmol. Now, my wife, my dogs, and my kids all have much bigger smiles on their faces. Thanks, Peptojizmol!"
  • Dick, from Norwell, says "One night, after one of those Peptojizmol rounds, I fell asleep, and the next day, my entire house was flooded. God damn, I love wet dreams."
  • John, from Cockburn says "You know, I think it's a side effect, but I think that Peptojizmol makes you immune to syphillis. No, I'm serious. You see the name of my fucking town? My cock doesn't burn, dammit!"
  • Dave, from Dish, says "Get that fucking microphone away from me! This fucking sick product killed my wife." Our representative, Phil, responds to Dave with "That is incorrect. You, good sir, killed your wife. We simply provided the means to do so, which by the Gun Companies Cannot Be Sued For Giving People Killing Machines Act, means we, sir, are innocent, and you, you disgusting fuck, are guilty. Security! Arrest this murderer!"
  • Bob, from Happyton, says *ridiculous toothy grin*. Bob has gone on to become mayor of Happyton, a favorite at pool parties, and 200-time PGA tour winner.
  • Fred, from New York says, "Wow, man, your product like, totally makes all the other boys go wild. I mean, uh, like, once they get past the anal bleeding, they're like, all for it dude. 11 out of 10!"
  • Jennifer, from Austin, says "Like holy shit guys, my boyfriend used this, and it nearly fucking killed me!"

If all these testimonials can't convince you, well frankly, I don't know what can.

edit A Nice Scenario

Meet George. Sadly enough, it turns out that George is a virgin. Poor boy. Well, with our patented 'Ten Step Plan to Get You Hitched (Or One Step Plan if You Have a Vagina)', which comes free with your $100 order of Peptojizmol for just an additional $100 dollars! Alright, alright, well here, we'll outline the basic steps, but with your extra payment of just $150 dollars, we'll give you every single detail. That's right folks, for just $200 dollars and your social security number, every single detail you'll need to get hitched. Anyways, back to our story. Well, George has just discovered the magic of the 'boner', 'masturbation', and guess what? His balls have dropped! Not late at all at age 45, in fact, many would consider this early.

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