From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Kim Jong-il | Lenin | Mao | Marx | Stalin|
Not exactly sure HOW I won that...
<p> Shit I am responsible for: HowTo: Double EntendreI lay claim to the title of the Duke of Spork.
So, I shall now introduce myself as the Duke of Spork.
Any questions? Yes, you in the back. Yes, you, the one with the pimples. YES! YOU! What say you?
"Wayl, I jurst wernted ta soy dat ur pahg iz da stroopides ding I eba erd ub."
... Alright, I know I just typed that, but dang, whoever typed that should really Get Some Sick, because they can't fucking spell.
Anyways, after I managed to tear myself away from my hobby of huffing minty breath spray, I decided to add this to my User page just because I felt like adding something that would increase the percentile chance of somebody laughing while they read my page. I hope I can bring a chuckle to that god-forsaken basement of your mother's. No, not in a sexual sense. Yes, in the literal sense.... what?
So one time, you came home after summer camp, and when you got to your house, you saw your friend Isaac outside of your house. So, you go:
And he says, "Nothing much, how about you? How long's it been?"
And then you noticed something. Isaac had a wedding ring on, so you went. "Hey! A wedding ring!" Then, you thought to yourself That looks a hell of a lot like my dad's wedding ring... oh well! "Who's the lucky girl?"
Suddenly, Isaac grew serious. "Your mom."
You laughed, and with a cry of 'What a joker!', you repeated your query.
He repeated, "Your mom."
You were shocked. He sounded so serious, but he had to be kidding, right? RIGHT? "But she's married.... to my dad!"
A dark smile crept across Isaac's face. "Ah, about that, well your dad was feeling sick... and he was driving to the hospital, and then WE had a little accident."
"WE?!?! WE?!?!?!?!" You were straight up pissed.
"Well, at the funeral, your mom was crying, and then I threw a few comforting words her way... and, well... one thing led to another... and you're having a baby half-brother."
"WHAT.THE.FUCK? You sick bastard! I was only gone for three damn weeks, and you killed my dad, slept with my mom, and now I'm going to have my friend's son for a brother?!"
He started to say "Yeah... pretty much... APRIL FOOLS!", but you cut him off before the 'APRIL FOOLS' part with a haymaker to the face. Then, when he was on the ground, you picked him back up, and (Have you seen Pan's Labyrinth? Awesome movie) grabbed his neck, and you grabbed your gat and started to beat Isaac's nose back into his face, after which he curled up in the fetal position, and you shot him. Typical day in your life. That wasn't the first time your mom had slept with one of your friends.